If your cat had a Facebook account, do you think you would be friends on Facebook? And why might they unfriend you? Ellie's on a new course of antibiotics, and we can't say the process goes smoothly because she keeps unfriending Kat after each dose!
EM: Ellie Mae Kat [black, gorgeously floofy lady cat]
L: Latte [tortie/tabby lady cat aka "Kitten"]
MK: Momma Kat [Latte and Ellie's human Momma, named Kat]
The Boy: Momma's fiance, Daddy to Latte and Ellie
MK: Ellie, I think someone hacked your Facebook account.
EM: WHAT?! Where?!
MK: On the computer?
EM: Someone hacked my Facebook account onto your computer?
MK: What?
EM: What what? Did someone barf up my Facebook account onto your computer or not? I bet it was Latte.
MK: But ... I ... hmmmm.
EM: Latte says that when you're lost for words, it's because one of us or Daddy said something really stupid.
MK: Not LITERALLY hacking your account. Like, they logged in as you.
EM: Why do you think that? My password is really strong.
MK: I got a friend request from a profile that looks like yours, but we're already friends.
EM: Erm ... no. We're not.
MK: WHAT?!?
EM: Remember last night when you gave me medicine, and I got really mad?
MK: Yes. You didn't talk to me for 12 seconds.
EM: I unfriended you.
MK: AGAIN?
EM: Umm ... yeah?
MK: Why don't you just wait 15 seconds and then see if you still want to unfriend me?
EM: Because I'm MAD! Duh! Oh. And I can't count that high.
MK: You've unfriended me like 8 times!
EM: But I always friend you again like 3 seconds later!
MK: That's ridiculous!
EM: So is you forcing my mouth open, dropping in a pill, and then squirting in water!
MK: Just out of curiosity, what is your password?
EM: Why does everyone keep asking me that?
MK: Wait ... what do you mean, everyone?
EM: I keep getting emails from Facebook asking for my password. Apparently, they keep forgetting it! It's like, hey, everyone one says I'm dumb, but at least I remember my password!
MK: So you give them your password?
EM: I wasn't born yesterday!
MK: Phew.
EM: Because I told them once, and then they kept asking. Like if you can't remember it once, why would you expect that I'd expect you to remember it? I just tell them I remember it, and that's enough.
L: Her password is 123456789!
EM: SHHHHHHH! It's a strong password, and I don't want anyone else to steal it!
MK: How does Latte know your password?
L: Who do you think keeps sending her emails asking for her password?
MK: Why would you want her password?
EM: NO. Those emails came from FACEBOOK. They said so!
L: You can't read! I "read" you the email!
MK: Latte, you can't read either!!
EM: Is that why the screen was blank? You told me it was invisible ink!
MK: I need a minute to unpack all of this.
EM: Latte is mean!
L: And Ellie is an idiot!
MK: Okay. Maybe I didn't need an entire minute.
EM: HEY!
L: HEY!
MK: But why would a computer use invisible ... and why would you want her password when she doesn't even use her account and I'm her only ... and since when does Ellie have email?
L: ELLIE IS STUPID.
EM: LATTE IS MEAN.
MK: Okay. But since when does Ellie have email?
L: She doesn't! I "read" her emails from a blank screen!
EM: Wait! You mean I didn't win ... wait ... let me see my notes ... $890,302,222,425,115,934.75 in the lottery?
L: NO!
EM: Well, at least the Nigerian prince was real, right? I mean, he should know I'm taken. It would be rude to just ignore him.
{Pause}
EM: Why is everyone looking at me like that?!
L: {sigh}.
EM: HEY! Who has their own Facebook account?
L: You only have your own Facebook account because you're over 13! I have to wait 9 years.
EM: Just tell them you're 13!
{Silence}
{Momma laughs}
EM: Yeah! Who's the dummy now?!? I've had my Facebook account since I was 7!
MK: Excuse me?
EM: Yeah! Bear told me to join.
MK: But you can't read or type ...
EM: He just wanted to send me pictures of his butt.
MK: Yeah. Okay. That doesn't surprise me. But you can't count to 9! How do you remember your password?
EM: Bear told me to start with the key with two vertical lines, hit three keys in a row, take a breath ... then hit the next three keys in the row, then take another breath ... and then type the next three keys in a row.
MK: Wow! You can do 3 times 3!
EM: Whoa! Whoa! Telling time is something completely different!
L: Why would you think that such an idiot-proof password is strong?
EM: Because unless you know the trick, you have to be able to count to 9!
MK: But ... wait ... BEAR had a Facebook account?
EM: Oops. I wasn't supposed to tell you. Do you think he'll be mad?
MK: Do you think I can ground him? Because I'm pretty sure he was just worried about being caught.
EM: Are you sure?
L: Maybe this is a dumb question, but how do you ground a cat?
The Boy: You don't! It just made her feel better to say he was grounded.
L: Oh, that makes sense.
The Boy: Wait! Why aren't I friends with Ellie on Facebook?
{Silence}
The Boy: Latte, if you joined Facebook, we'd be friends, right?
{Silence}
© 2024 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Written and Published by Katherine Kern.
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern], 2015-2024. No content on Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat may be used without the owner's [K. Kern] written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact cats@mommakatandherbearcat.com.
Featured posts:
- If you missed the posts about Ellie's health issues ...
- If you'd like to read more about Ellie's quirks ... Quirky Ellie Mae.
Ellie's not stupid
ReplyDeleteHave a good Thanksgiving
Thank you!
Deletehay ewe galz..due knot ever let facebook ore yur mom ore yur dad noe that ewe CAN reed, type, uze pazzwerdz, log in ta stuff, bee friendz, pree tend ta bee sum one yur knot, then say yur knot who ewe said ya waz….oh, and shop online ‼️‼️
ReplyDeletehope yur feelin like a bazillion timez better ellie and de sux azz new med a sinz werkz 🧡🤎💛🧡🤎💛😺‼️
You Tabbies should teach a class on catting! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteHmm, has Ellie got a Bluesky account yet? Anyways, with AI taking over better to ditch the social media and stick with post-it notes. Bear was ahead of the game on that one.
ReplyDeleteHave a great week, and enjoy the holiday that's coming.
ERin
NO! Mom set up one for our blog, but I didn't get one! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteIf Angel Madi had a FB account, I'm purrty sure she would have unFRIENDED me several times because I embarrassed her.
ReplyDeleteEllie I'm so happy to read your Chemo is finished.
Hugs cecilia
Ellie's chemo isn't done. I reread my comment on your blog and I understand why you thought that. We travel three hours each way for each appointment. And the sunset was gorgeous on the way home after our last visit!
DeleteOur mom apologizes for not being in touch lately. She and our dad have been sick for the past two weeks and don’t seem to be getting any better. Someone peed in our Mom’s chair and now she is really pissed off. MOL! Ellie Mae, if anyone else questions your mental status, just tell them you have chemo brain. It works for humans! But then humans already have limited mental capabilities. We all (including the humans) send love, hugs and prayers and best wishes for Thanksgiving. 🦃 Gobble, gobble XOCK, angels Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta & Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, Cooper Murphy, Sawyer, Kizmet, Audrey & Raleigh 💓
ReplyDeleteWe hope your Mom and Dad feel better soon! And you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
DeleteDon't feel badly guys, I' not good with math either. And don't even get me started with remembering passwords.
ReplyDeleteI hate that password requirements are so different. I know you're not supposed to use the same password for everything ... but it would make remembering so much easier!
DeleteUh oh, here's hoping our cats don't discover social media ... Sometimes it's hard to contend with, even for humans ...
ReplyDeleteHaha. I can only imagine the things they'd read ...
DeleteEllie...you're finished with chemo? I am so proud and happy for you. How about you and Latte celebrate..just the two of you. Have a Girl's Only night..you know your mom isn't a girl any more...so...she and your dad aren't invited. You girls can gossip about them! They'll never know.
ReplyDeleteEllie isn't done with chemo ... at least not until we have evidence it isn't working (as you probably know, at some point, cancer builds up resistance to a specific agent). I wish I could get Ellie and Latte to gossip about us - they don't act like they have much use for each other. It'd be nice for both girls to have that extra support from each other!
DeleteHappy Birthday to your Mom...I am late late late for that.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I appreciate it!
DeleteHey sweet Ellie, we're all sending purrs your way girl and hopefully you will not be mad much longer!
ReplyDeleteWe're on an extended course of antibiotics, so I'm pretty sure things will only get spicier around here!
DeleteEllie you're not stupid & have a good Thanksgiving
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteYou girls are too funny!!!
ReplyDeleteLife is interesting ...
DeleteYou girls are cute despite being 'catty' ~ great photos and fun captions ~ hugs,
ReplyDeleteWishing you good health, laughter and love in your days.
clm ~ A ShutterBug Explores,
aka (A Creative Harbor)
Thank you!
DeleteWell, hopefully those antibiotics are done soon, Ellie. Then you can stay friends with Momma Kat on Facebook! XO
ReplyDeleteYikes! We're in it for the long haul. We're doing at least a month. Ellie's liver enzymes are still elevated, so they did a FNA of her liver and found neutrophils (indicative of infection). If her liver values go down after a month of antibiotics, we'll do a full course for three months. I feel bad for her!
DeleteEllie Mae and Latte need a Blue Sky account STAT OK?
ReplyDeleteFacebook is truly a waste of space and time. I wish there was something better.
Marjorie and Toulouse
DashKitten
@dashcatphotography.bsky.social
We already have one! @mkandherbc.bsky.social I'm kind of bummed that Social Bee discontinued direct posting to X.
DeleteLatte, I hear BlueSky is the new in social media so maybe join that. :) XO
ReplyDeleteI need the perfect handle! ~Latte
DeleteEllie, I feel for you. No cat wants pills forced on them. I'll be your furiend and promise to never give you a pill. ~Murphy
ReplyDeleteMaybe I could come live with you? ~Ellie Mae
DeleteIt is not good to have to keep taking hundreds of pills every day. I would unfriend myself if it would help. I hope they work for you.
ReplyDeleteI guess it's good that I can't count higher than 3! My Mom says I don't take more than three pills a day ... but it sure feels like I do! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteAMARULA: I wish I could figure out how to unfriend Frodo--and I don't just mean from Facebook!!
ReplyDelete