In honor of Remember Me Thursday, we reflect on the power of one cat's love to transform a person's life and the implications on humanity for the 900,000 cats and dogs that die each year in shelters.
This year, I'm reminded of the profound difference a rescue cat can make in a person's life. Seven years ago, I met a black cat at an adoption event that stole my heart when she did her little dance as I looked in her enclosure. I wasn't looking for another cat. I'd never seen the beauty of a black cat. But that little dance was something I knew I'd never forget.
Pictures from Ellie's adoption day
This May, we discovered a 5 cm mass on Ellie Mae's liver; there were no treatment options in our area. And I faced losing her. We went through the ups and downs of diagnostics, probabilities, and quality of life. I traveled to the closest veterinary school, which agreed that surgery was possible but high-risk. In July, Ellie Mae had surgery to remove and biopsy her mass. On July 19th, we received the news that it was cholangiocarcinoma, it would grow back, and she had six months. And again, my girl told me she was not ready to go. So, in August, we traveled to another veterinary school willing to try chemotherapy. And we will continue to do so every 2 weeks until it no longer works or she tells me she's done.
Ellie Mae is the sweetest cat I've ever met. She's never bitten or scratched me - or any of the veterinary teams that have handled her. She gets spicy when she doesn't want to take her meds. She'll yell at you if you make her wait for cuddles. She's not INYOURFACE like Bear. She doesn't DEMAND a place in your life and with your attention. But when she chooses you ... she CHOOSES you. It's done. Over. For life. And I would not have it any other way.
Over the last three-plus years, she's become my velcro cat. She is always RIGHTTHERE. She attends my Zoom meetings. She patiently waits while I finish my work to get snuggles. And over the past four months, I've become her velcro human. Things just don't seem right without her by me. I never would've expected such an extreme connection with Ellie. But it feels so incredibly good that I'm still capable of that after losing Bear. The connection is different but every bit as wonderful.
As we've faced Ellie's issues, I notice more and more about how she's changed my life. She was there even before Bear died. She started seeking me out and wanted to cuddle when he was hospitalized. And her quiet, unassuming, gentle love helped me through losing Bear. If you've followed us for a while, you've probably noticed that I lost my blogging voice with Bear's death. And earlier this year, because of Ellie's steadfast love, I recovered my passion for writing about cats.
There is so much I could tell you about the last four months. Every long car trip and new place has shown me that Ellie Mae isn't a scaredy cat. She is one bad-@$$ mother-fluffer, and I admire her courage and bravery. Ellie Mae's fought her cancer with the same intensity that she loves me. And I KNOW that she trusts me to do what is in her best interest. Sometimes, that responsibility feels overwhelming ... Do we get a second opinion? Which supplements do we try? How do I make her comfortable? Does she have quality of life? But at the end of the day, it is the greatest gift that a cat can ever give a human. This is especially true if that human learned not to trust herself years ago, and yet Ellie Mae DOES.
Today, she still loves announcing the deaths of her catnip toys and yarn balls, she still loves to chase her laser pointer, she still loves to chow down on fish, treats, and squeeze-ups, and she loves cuddling with her Momma. I am lucky that she's still where she belongs, by my side, changing my life with her love, her courage, and her quirks that make my day.
So what does all this have to do with Remember Me Thursday? It goes back to what I said in our first Remember Me post in 2017.
The statistics have changed over the last seven years. Today, Remember Me Thursday states that 900,000 cats and dogs die in shelters each year waiting for forever homes. How many human lives does that affect? How many human lives will miss out on the joy and comfort I've found in Kitty, Bear, Ellie Mae, and Latte? When I look at how each cat has made me a better person, connected with me, what they taught me, and how they saved me, I know I am better for sharing my life with them. No, I don't advocate using cats for only our purposes. But so many people see cats as just cats. As if they don't matter. So I put the cost in terms of the human lives that could be saved and transformed by each of those 900,000 cats and dogs that die in shelters each year to make it relevant. Because when you rescue a cat, you save at least three lives: the cat, the cat who takes the place of the adopted cat in the over-crowded shelter that otherwise wouldn't have space, and the life of the adopter.
Imagine 900,000 empty spaces where a dog or cat's love could fill a hole in someone's life and make a difference. Each year, this many unique potential companions are lost, depriving the world of the healing power of their love.
Even when you have more than one cat, each is unique. Each has her own way of touching your heart and your soul. One can never replace another. So even if you have one cat ... or ten ... adding another tends to find a new hole, something you didn't know you needed.
NOTES:
As with any relationship, what you receive from your relationship with your cat equals what you put into it. If you set your cat up in your home with toys, a scratcher, and a cat tree and just let the cat be, you might have a companion. The real benefits of sharing one's life with a cat come when you treat the relationship with your cat like your relationships with significant people in your life. The relationship requires work (which is amazingly rewarding), getting to know your cat, and sometimes compromising. For tips on improving your relationship with your cat: The Purr-fect New Year’s Resolution: A Better Relationship With Your Cat.
Lastly, all cats are different. As humans, we recognize that people have different "love languages." Some people show their love by doing things for others. Other people show love by buying things for others. Cats show love in different ways, too. For Ellie, she shows love by being ON me. Bear showed affection by connecting with me (through snuggling or misbehaving for attention). Kitty showed affection by being close to me. It took me years to realize that she loved me. I wanted a cat that would snuggle and be on me. She wasn't that kind of cat, and if I'm being honest, I wouldn't have been able to handle the kind of cat I wanted at the time. I refer to Kitty as a secret service-style cat. She was always in the background - always in the same room. We didn't usually interact, but she was THERE. ALL. THE. TIME. Part of having a good relationship with your cat is understanding how she shows love and loving her in return as she is. For more information about cats needing us and how they show love: Do cats need human interaction or are they completely fine on their own?
© 2024 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Written and Published by Katherine Kern.
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern], 2015-2024. No content on Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat may be used without the owner's [K. Kern] written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact cats@mommakatandherbearcat.com.
Featured posts:
- Ellie's adoption story may be found here:
- To check out our previous Remember Me Thursday posts:
- To read the posts about Ellie's
killing talking to her prey: - To watch Ellie chase her laser pointer:
Never truer words spoken, or sentiments expressed, about the very real joys (and heartaches) of feline and canine companionship. As a follower of Buddhism, I now see these fine friends as so much more. They feel and love and hate as much as any other sentient creature. With us they can thrive and become so much more, and the more we see and understand about them, the more we invest in understanding them, the better we become, too. Kind acts to them bring a selfish yet wonderful return to us.
ReplyDeleteERin
This is absolutely true ... and much better said than I ever could.
Deleteellie mae…momma kat rited de pawsum est pozt for ewe …..N all oh uz in TT givez it 984 pawz UP…continmewed blessingz two ewe fora happee healthee life 💙💚🐟🌸😺
ReplyDeleteThanks. We appreciate you.
DeleteI feel very sorry for anyone when the say 'they don't like dogs or cats'. I know you can't change how folks think but
ReplyDeletedear me what a great loss not to have a furry critter.
Hugs Cecilia
HUGE loss for them!
DeleteAmarula's mom: You two are so lucky to have found each other! You bring so much love to each other's lives. Wishing all the best for EM (even Amarula wishes her the best!!)
ReplyDeleteWe're very lucky!
DeleteI am glad Ellie Mae is enjoying her life. I will keep her in my prayers. XO
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteSuch a beautiful post and Ellie Mae is so brave and such a joy.
ReplyDeleteShe is!
DeleteWonderful and thoughtful post and Ellie Mae is an awesome Kitty ~ sending you lots of distant reiki healing energy hugs ~ it is so hard when our fur persons are not well ~ my thoughts are with you both ~ hugs,
ReplyDeleteWishing you good health, laughter and love in your days,
clm ~ A ShutterBug Explores ~
aka (A Creative Harbor)
Thank you.
DeleteHi Kat, This is an absolutely exceptional post. Every kitty is different and sometimes it takes a while to learn what they want and need and how they will respond to us. It warms my heart that you and Ellie Mae have developed such a strong bond. I really don’ think you have lost your voice, but it has changed as circumstances have changed. You also are exceptional, and I feel blessed to know you as a friend and cat parent. Love, hugs and prayers to you and Ellie Mae. 💞🙏🏻 Janet
ReplyDeleteI'm speechless, Janet. Thank you.
DeleteYour girl is such a special girl and she is right there for you ALWAYS.
ReplyDeleteWe need to push Spay and Neuter and make sure every pet is a loved pet!
Marjorie and Toulouse
Agreed! Too many homeless cats!
DeleteShe is such a special little girl, and YOU are one extra special cat mom/guardian! I'm so, so happy you found each other.
ReplyDeleteShe is sooo special!
DeleteSuch a touching post. We all share in the love for your sweet girl.
ReplyDeleteShe is purrfect!
DeleteEllie Mae is so incredibly special, as are you, Momma Kat. We are so grateful that the two of you are exactly where you belong -- together. Love and hugs to you both.
ReplyDeleteAwww. Thanks.
DeleteThis post brought tears to my eyes. Knowing what I am going through with chemotherapy, I know Ellie Mae must be very brave in her own battle. Cats are so good at hiding things, much better than we humans. I wish her much longer with you. Back in 2017 I was told I should have at least two years, maybe three and here I am 7 1/2 years later!
ReplyDeleteWe are so glad you are still here!
DeleteI love that you mention how cats show love in different ways. That's so true! I know mine definitely do as well. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI'd love to hear about how each one shows love! I'm fascinated by the dynamic.
DeleteIt's heartbreaking to know so many animals don't find good homes. Our four make our lives better.
ReplyDelete