Latte here! If you follow Mom's personal Facebook page, you might've read about an alleged event at our house. It was not nearly as much of an event or nearly as dramatic as she makes it sound. And I will say upfront: I was NOT scared. Reports that I was, are greatly exaggerated. Who knew my Mom was capable of writing fake news?!? {Shut up, Ellie! I'm in the middle of writing a blog post. YES! You ARE fat!}
See, a year ago, our upstairs neighbor created three waterfalls in our unit. If there hadn't been so much water, you bet I'd have been playing in it. But like always, my Mom flipped out. Some men came and tore two holes in our ceiling to get all the water out. See, they worried there was a leak in a pipe between the units. As it turns out, there was not. But our upstairs neighbor is not talking about how all that water accumulated between our units and how, if it wasn't associated with something he did, the incident has never been repeated.
After some really boring legal stuff that put me to sleep, it came time to fix those two holes in our ceiling. The maintenance guy told my Mom he would call her in advance of the guys showing up. He did not. He called her to tell her that the guys were standing in the parking lot and couldn't find our unit, so could she please bring them to the unit. She did. And then she tried to find Ellie and me while the guys went back out to their truck.
She found Ellie in the bathtub. To understand how scared Ellie must've been, she hates water. HATES WATER. So for her to hide in the bathtub is a pretty major statement of how scared she was. What kind of dumb@$$ hides out in the open in the bathtub? I'm not saying I was scared, but if I were, I'd certainly find a better hiding spot. Then again, Ellie's quite zaftig, so maybe that's the only place she fits.
After grabbing her, Mom put her in a room and then went looking for me. I was wedged between the back of the couch and the window. I wasn't scared at all. I was looking outside thinking of roast birds on a spit. So she put me in the room with Ellie. Then she realized she might want to put our litter box in the room too. See, there IS a litter box in the room, but it's MY litter box. And Mom knows Ellie wouldn't use my litter box under any circumstances. If you've got to go, you've got to go. But Ellie's not smart enough for that.
So, the guys were still out at their truck when my Mom opened the door to put the litter box inside. I ran like my tail was on fire out of the room! Would you want to be closed in a room with your sisfur, nicknamed Smellie? Yeah. I didn't think so. Just as I hit the bathroom, the guys came back, and I disappeared. Mom will tell you I flipped out. I DO NOT flip out. I was investigating alternative sleeping spots where I might enjoy some privacy. What bossy kitten doesn't want privacy when the fancy strikes?
Chaos ensued! My Mom ran around the unit crying and panicking, looking for me. She looked EVERYWHERE. She asked the guys if a cat had run out of the door, but they didn't speak English. It's lucky for those guys that my Mom didn't think to act like a cat and meow to ask about me. Believe it or not, in my Mom's picture files, there are photos of her imitating Bear for a post that she never wrote. If her performance was anything like those pictures, I could've charged A LOT of money for admission. I figure those pictures will come in handy someday when I want something. I'm not above blackmail. The question is, why didn't Bear ever use them?
Back to my story. For the next half an hour, Mom scoured the neighborhood. I can only imagine what the neighbors thought when my Mom traipsed through their yards yelling, "Latte?" like she misplaced and was calling for her coffee. Then she came back to the unit and looked closer in the bathroom. She'll tell you I was wedged behind the drawers in the vanity. See, she'd seen me climb on the bottom shelf of the vanity, but then I disappeared like magic. POOF! She cleaned off the shelf and I was nowhere to be found. So she assumed I wasn't there. Did I mention that my spot provided privacy from snoopervising humans? Humans always have to stick their noses in our business. She finally came to her senses and pulled out the drawers ... and there I was, perched on the drawer tracks. There's another nasty rumor that I was stuck. I was NOT stuck. I was cozy. There's a difference.
You might wonder why she didn't just leave me there. Well, see, one of those holes in the ceiling was in the bathroom. And even though I wasn't scared one little bit, Mom was sure I'd have a heart attack if she left me there while the guys banged and drilled. Where do Moms get these ideas? I wasn't scared. I was perfectly still. Why do Moms always flip out like this? Just between you and me, I think my Mom might be slightly unstable and a little bit crazy. Everyone knows that Ellie's the scared-y cat around here. I mean, you look in Ellie's direction when she's eating and she runs away.
So Mom dragged me out, which I did not like one bit. I was perfectly calm and content to stay there, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. She tossed me in the room with Ellie again and then burst into tears. Did I mention she's unstable and slightly crazy? That would explain the hyperventilation and crazed look in her eyes.
Before the guys left, they showed Mom an app on their phones to translate that they would be back the next day to paint. For hours after they left, Mom walked around mumbling to herself that they could have easily brought this to her attention when she was freaking out about me being missing. I think they just figured she was a crazy gringa. I would've confirmed their suspicions if they'd asked. "Loco gringa?" "Si! Si, Senor!" Then again, Ellie said the guys' Spanish sounded nothing like Bear's Spanish. So maybe they weren't really from Span.
And no, Mom will tell you that I was shaking for an hour after the guys left, but I was just cold. Where do these rumors get started? I repeat: I was not scared.
ROUND 2:
Mom woke up early and corralled us in the same room, awaiting the guys' return. She started to doubt they were coming back that day. Before they got there, she checked on us and I made a run for it again. Let me just say, that not only is my Mom crazy and unstable, but she's also not very smart. Just as I made a run for it, the doorbell rang. Mom will tell you I turned tail and disappeared, but I decided to find another alternative sleeping spot where I might find some privacy. In her haste to catch me, she left the door open, and Ellie flew out of the bedroom when the doorbell rang.
The most eventful thing that happened after that was Mom's attempt to get Ellie out from under the bed. In truly scared-y cat fashion, she was not coming out for love or tuna. Which for a fatty like Ellie says a lot. She NEVER turns up her nose to tuna.
Eventually, Mom got us both back in the room.
So, if you evaluate all the evidence, we can conclude that:
1) My Mom is crazy, unstable, and not very smart. She's one "o" short of a cuckoo clock.
2) My sisfur Ellie is the scared-y cat.
3) My Mom is a liar liar, pants-on-fire.
4) I'm as chillax as cats come.
5) I'm not scared of anything except my sisfur's colossal rear end and Daddy's farts.
6) I'm a discerning and crafty connoisseur of hiding spots that provide maximum privacy.
© 2023 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Written and Published by Katherine Kern.
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern], 2015-2023. No content on Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat may be used without the owner's [K. Kern] written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact cats@mommakatandherbearcat.com.
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Bear occasionally spoke "Spanish" to get himself out of trouble.
Crazy mum... watch out!
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit put out that my sisfur didn't warn me! ~Latte
DeleteLatte, of course you weren't scared!
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping such things don't happen again; your poor Mama will need a straight-jacket!
Maybe I should have one on hand just in case? ~Latte
DeleteMoms always exaggerate, Latte! I could tell you weren't scared and only checking out new sleeping spots. I hope the holes are all fixed now.
ReplyDeleteYes, they are fixed! I feel better knowing you understand! ~Latte
DeleteOMCs Latte what a tale...WOW I am thankful there has not been a repeat of: water water everywhere and not a drop to drink.
ReplyDeleteHugs Cecilia
It was a disaster! Luckily, the water missed most of our stuff (except my least favorite cat tree). ~Latte
DeleteLatte ~ Wow! great story and awesome photos ~
ReplyDeleteWishing you good health, laughter and love in your days,
A ShutterBug Explores,
aka (A Creative Harbor)
It's hard to believe I survived! ~Latte
DeleteSo while my momma was reading this to me, we had a flash back to 2019 when we had the carpet replaced at our old house. Pwetty sure the non-english-speaking men at yoor house were the same at our house. But in our case Elly was scared out the front door even though the men were told NO CATS OUTSIDE. Daddy saw Elly in the yard and sent Momma to grab her. Elly was so fweaked out she ran into woods where a deep empty creek was. Momma was scared she would fall. But happily ever after... Elly came to her and let Momma carry her through deep leaves into the house. Lesson Learned: put a translation app on yoor phone.
ReplyDeleteSo all cats named Ellie/Elly are scaredy cats? That should be written down somewhere. ~Latte
DeleteMoms just worry about us kitties!
ReplyDeleteHmph. I was fine. ~Latte
Deletewavez two ewe latte N ellie frum trout...guezz now iz knot de time two say when waterz IN de houz, grab a fishin
ReplyDeletepolez & N joyz de afturr noon ~~~~N de gurl noez all bout yur momz ......actshunz......truzt uz on that one !!! YEOWZEE ♥♥
I'm pretty sure if there'd been tuna in that water, Ellie would've noticed! ~Latte
DeleteIt's Mom's job to worry!
ReplyDeleteI see your point. But she was loco! ~Latte
DeleteMy goodness, I don't know about you being frightened Latte but your Mom was sure scared to death. There's nothing worse for a human that losing a kitty in your own house. We're thankful that all turned out okay. Thanks for joining our Thankful Thursday Blog Hop!
ReplyDeleteI'm actually kind of bummed she found my hiding spot. Sometimes a girl wants privacy! ~Latte
DeleteMudpie has scared me to death like that a couple times too. You guys shouldn't be doing that to us!!
ReplyDeleteWhat fun is that? #tortiepower ~Latte
DeleteI am glad you were found. It is hard to deal with having workers in the house.
ReplyDeleteThey were here five days in a row! It was pretty horrible! ~Latte
DeleteJust like a human to exaggerate, Latte! We had workers in the house one day repairing some drywall. I couldn't find Dexter anywhere! I made Ross come home from work to help me look around the neighborhood. I asked the guys if maybe they sealed him up in the wall (I'm not sure how they would've missed that, but you know, exploring all options). I finally found Dexter under a sofa chair, crawled up through the fabric into the base of the chair. Geez, why didn't I think to look there first.
ReplyDeleteHindsight is 20/20, right? Luckily, the first time Latte climbed into our couch, we watched her do it (we couldn't believe she'd actually purposely crawl INTO the couch - we were wrong). She wasn't scared. Just curious. Thankfully she's too big to pull that trick anymore!
DeleteGoodness gracious! Well we're glad to hear you're ok (and not scared). It's a well know fact that moms are über weird when it comes to their fur babies. Maybe just chalk it up to more proof. Hope the chaos has subsided, the neighbor is on his best behavior and the mom has started breathing normally now.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom's always got a bee in her bonnet about something! Latte! Leave your sisfur alone! Latte! Stop eating your sisfur's food! Latte! Stop ripping up the lamp shade! [true story]. I should impose a tax everytime she calls my name! ~Latte
Deletewe are sure it happened exactly the way you said, Latte. But moms and dads worry -- it's just what they do!
ReplyDeleteAt least someone believes me! ~Latte
DeleteOMC what an adventure Latte, but we're glad it was all ok n the end! Did mew read our post a couple of weeks ago where Parlsey went missing, and we found him locked in the aring cupboard? So much stress!!!
ReplyDeleteOne time, my Mom closed Bear in the pantry for four hours when she went to class! She got home and got confused when he didn't meet her at the door. When she called to him, she got a simple Mew. Go figure! ~Latte
DeleteAMARULA: (for some reason it won't let me put my website) Latte, you'll be interested to know that I too love to investigate alternative sleeping spots where I might enjoy some privacy when strangers come into the house. I am certainly not hiding either! Clearly we are equally as brave!
ReplyDeleteThat sounds just as fishy as when Latte says it. ~Ellie Mae
DeleteThat's quite some story! You should make it into a film. Look forward to seeing you at the next Oscars!
ReplyDeleteDoes that come with a tuna award? Asking for a friend. ~Latte
DeleteDear Latte,
ReplyDeleteFirst, humans have a problem telling the truth. I completely understand your point of view and I also understand the need to see what's going on in the neighborhood (which is why I spent one chilly night on our front porch because The Human couldn't hear my pitiful meow...but that's a story for another time). Our human is a cry baby too, sheesh what's wrong with them? And I completely understand the challenges of living with a zaftig feline. Oliver could roll over on me and squash me!
Rest assured that the Tribe at Feline Opines understands your side of the story!
Purrs & Head Bonks,
Lily
That happened to Kitty! I was walking past the front door before school and heard a little mew. My father had closed her outside when he got the newspaper! ~Kat
DeleteThank you for understanding. Good help is hard to find. ~Latte