It's been a while since we checked in with everyone! What's going on in the Momma Kat household?
BC: Bear Cat Kat [handsome tabby cat]
EM: Ellie Mae Kat [black, gorgeously floofy cat]
MK: Momma Kat [Bear and Ellie's human Momma, named Kat]
The Boy: Momma's fiance
Ellie-Air ...
EM: A box with paper in it ... this looks comfy!
MK: It's an airplane! For you.
EM: Thanks, Momma!
MK: Do you want to try it?
EM: {hopping in the box} YES!
BC: Phht. Like you need PERMISSION to use a box. What kind of cat are you?
EM: The kind of cat that LIKES boxes.
BC: Phht. Whatever.
MK: Ellie, I'm trying to finish your airplane. I need to get back to work.
EM: Okay.
MK: Ummm ... it's a lot harder for me and takes more time with you in the box.
EM: Oh. Okay.
MK: No, see ... can you move?
EM: What? Why?
MK: So I can finish your airplane!
EM: But I like it in here!
MK: Ellie, can I have about five minutes to finish what I'm doing?
EM: Okay.
MK: No, see, I mean ... can I have about five minutes to finish what I'm doing WITHOUT YOU IN THE BOX?
EM: But ... MOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMA!
MK: I'll be as fast as I can be, okay!?
EM: Fine.
{Ellie jumps out of the box and Momma turns around to grab her supplies and turns around to find Bear in the box}
MK: Oh, for the love! Bear! You don't even LIKE boxes!
{Bear FARTS}
EM: What was that?!?!
MK: Ummm ...
BC: I farted!
EM: In MY box?!?! OH, NO!
BC: {jumping out of the box} It's Bear-air!
EM: Eww! Momma! Bear farted in my airplane!
MK: More like Bear-y-air.
EM: I don't get it.
MK: Derriere! Bearyair!
EM: There's a dairy in my plane?
BC: I prefer the term Bear-plane ... with a hint of Bear's eau de toilette.
EM: YUCK!
MK: UGH!
EM: Momma! DO something!
MK: There's nothing wrong with your box.
EM: But Bear FARTED in it!
MK: Do you smell anything?
EM: Err ... no.
MK: SEE?!? Then none of his fart stuck to the surface!
EM: Are you SURE?
MK: Yes.
BC: But ...
MK: SHUT IT!
BC: But ...
MK: Don't EVEN! Not after all the trouble you've caused.
BC: What TROUBLE?!?
{Momma gives Bear THAT look}
BC: I'm grounded. Again.
{Momma turns back around and Ellie's back in the airplane box}
MK: Oh ... #*@(#!! Ellie? May I PLEASE finish your box?
EM: Yeah, right! The last time I did what you asked, you let BEAR jump in my box and FART!
MK: {sigh} I didn't LET him do anything!
BC: That's true! Cats are born with the right to do what they want. A human LETTING us do anything is completely irrelevant!
MK: Fine. If you can't beat 'em, join them! Ellie! Check outside your window!
EM: My what?!?
{Momma pokes a scrap from the box through Ellie's cockpit window}
EM: I love my window, Momma!!! This is really cool! I love you, Momma!
MK: Get it!
EM: I'm going to kill this scrap from the box.
{Ellie plays}
EM: I almost have it! I'm ferocious!
BC: Only when you sit on something.
MK: BEAR!
BC: Erm ... I was talking to myself.
MK: Are you sure?
BC: Ummm ... yes?
Ellie's finished airplane ...
Ellie's new bed ...
MK: ELLIE!
EM: WHAT?!
BC: You know the code, Momma: if she fits, she sits.
MK: Yeah, but ...
BC: Of course, she's so large that she doesn't often fits or sits.
EM: Bear, YOU'RE A BIG JERK!
BC: Momma, I think it's time to put the cover to the ottoman back on.
EM: But I'm comfortable!
MK: Don't worry, Ellie. You can stay there as long as you want.
{A couple of hours pass}
The Boy: {walking into the room} Why's the cover to the ottoman ....
EM: DADDY!
The Boy: {jumping into next week} AHHHH!
BC: Yep. That's MY reaction to seeing her too.
The Boy: NO! I just didn't expect something in the ottoman to move! She startled me.
BC: As I was saying ...
The power of the dark side ...
BC: {jumping on the bed to sleep with Momma} I'm tired! Time to take a beauty ...
{Pause as Bear sees Momma's CPAP mask}
BC: DARTH VADER!
MK: Bear!
BC: {gasp} You know MY NAME! Don't get too close, Darth! I'm the bringer of death!
MK: NO! I AM your Momma!
BC: {jumping off the bed and running as fast as he can} AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
MK: Wha ... oh. Haha.
EM: What'd you say to Bear? He's bouncing around the big room like a pinball!
MK: Bear, YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARK SIDE!
BC: HUH?!? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
EM: But it's not dark in here!
{Bear crashes into a wall}
MK: Tell Bear that!
EM: BEAR?! It's not dark in here! Why did you crash into the wall?!
MK: Call it the power of the dark side.
BC: {huffing and puffing} Haha. VERY funny.
EM: But it's not dark!
Ellie meets the little red dot ...
BC: The little red dot!
EM: What?
BC: I thought the reason I haven't seen it for years is that I finally killed it!
EM: What are you ... {GASP}.
{Pause}
EM: KIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL!
BC: Be careful. I must've caught that demon a million times - but every time I raised my paw, it was GONE!
EM: I'm going to make it so dead, it won't be alive anymore!
BC: Sheesh. Kids these days.
Same old, same old ...
MK: Where are the cats?!?!
EM: WE'RE NEVER COMING ...
BC: SHHHHHHHH! She'll find us!
MK: I already know you two are hiding in the cat tree corner!
BC: RATS! Mommas know EVERYTHING!
EM: Oh, no! Does that mean she knows about the ...
BC: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
MK: Yes. I already know about the mess you two made last night.
EM: BEAR DID IT!
BC: WHAT? NO. I DID NOT! We BOTH did it!
EM: I'm not admitting fault ... but if I did, would you be mad at us?
MK: I cleaned it up - how could I NOT know about the mess?
BC: Don't answer that! It's a trick question!
MK: You two are the only furry goblins around here making messes!
EM: What about Daddy? I like to lick his table because there are always yummy crumbs on it!
MK: Daddy's not furry. But back to the business at paw ... we go through this little hiding business every night and you two INSIST on hiding even though I get you both 100% of the time.
BC: EVENTUALLY. You get us 100% of the time ... EVENTUALLY.
MK: Pint-sized Pipsqueak, I've been perfecting my stubbornness longer than you've been alive.
EM: WHOA! Momma's older than you, Bear? That's like REALLY old!
BC: Oh, shut up!
MK: I was full-blown stubborn before your cat parents were born. I was stubborn before your cat parents' PARENTS were born!
BC: {whispering} Ask her about the dinosaurs!
EM: {whispering} Momma wasn't alive while the dinosaurs were alive, was she?
BC: {whispering} I dare you to ask!
EM: {whispering} No, thanks. You're trying to get me in trouble!
MK: I can hear you both!
EM: I'M NOT COMING OUT EVER AGAIN!
MK: Then I guess you don't want wet food.
EM: Well, I didn't say THAT ...
BC: MORE FOR ME!
EM: {trying to beat Bear out of the cat tree corner} OH! I'm not going to let Bear get all the wet food ...
MK: {scooping Ellie up} AHA!
EM: WAIT! Bear said ...
BC: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
EM: You tricked me into running for the food when you weren't going to run!
MK: Ellie, he plays that game every night.
EM: He does?!?
BC: Hehe.
EM: HE DOES! WHY YOU ... YOU ...
BC: Use your words ...
EM: PINT-SIZED PIPQUEAK WITH A LITTLE BRAIN AND AN EVER SMALLER HEAD!
BC: Wait, that's not possible.
MK: I don't think she was referring to the head on your shoulders ...
BC: Then what .... I don't get it!
{Momma pops open a can of wet food}
BC: {running out of his hiding spot at top speed} OH! FOOD TIME!
MK: AHA!
BC: @(*#& this! (&@@# you! (@*# your @(*# &#$!
MK: Bear, sometimes you disappoint me.
EM: Phht. Bear ALWAYS disappoints me.
BC: I thought you were brushing Smellie's teeth since you just grabbed her!
MK: While opening a can of wet food? I let Ellie go in favor of the bigger fish.
EM: Bigger fish? WHERE?!? Is it a TUNA fish?
BC: *@(* (&#(!
Together in the window ...
EM: Oh, no! Momma caught us on camera together in our window!
BC: MY window.
EM: What?
BC: She caught us in MY window.
EM: Why is she jumping up and down like that? Does she have ants in her pants?
BC: Who knows?! At least she's not screeching and crying about how cute we are.
EM: She isn't?
BC: RATS! I spoke too soon. Do you see anyone around who knows me?
EM: I don't think so. What do we do?!
BC: Pretend she's not there.
EM: Ignoring her will make her stop?
BC: No. That way anyone who knows us will assume we don't know her.
MK: BEAR! ELLIE! WOO-HOO! LOOK AT THE CAMERA!
EM: Do you have another plan?
BC: #&@*! RUN!
Did you miss Bear and Ellie's debate over who looks best in the window? The debate.
Ellie's catnip bender ...
MK: Ellie? Are you okay?
{Silence}
MK: Ellie?!?!?!
BC: Let this be a lesson to you! None of the good stuff for Smellie!
MK: You just don't want to share your catnip banana!
BC: I told you she's a lightweight! Well, not when it comes to ACTUAL weight ... she
weighs as much as a herd of buses. But she's a lightweight when it comes to the influence of catnip! My banana is too strong for her!
MK: Huh. It's like she's in a trance!
BC: She's too buzzed to even talk and tell me off for insulting her!
{Pause}
BC: Wait. That's genius! Hello nap time!
MK: So she's going to be okay?
BC: Phht. That girl hasn't been okay since the day she moved in. I don't know where her "cat" card is, but it should've been canceled!
More trouble for The Boy ...
BC: Watch out for Momma's huge doughnut butt.
The Boy: That's not very nice.
BC: You don't notice her HUGE doughnut butt?
The Boy: I see her flaws, but I love her anyway.
BC: Really?
The Boy: Yeah.
{Bear walks away and The Boy wonders what just happened ... until he hears Bear talking to Momma in the other room}
BC: MOMMA! Daddy says you have a huge doughnut butt that he can't help but notice - but he loves you anyway!
MK: Since when is he Daddy to you?
BC: Since I'm getting him in trouble with you by twisting his words, I figure I can at least be nice ...
MK: Oh?
BC: Err ... I mean ...
{Pause}
BC: RATS!
EM: Real smooth, Bear.
BC: Oh, shut up! Like you don't enjoy Momma giving him a smackdown!
EM: But now you owe me ten tuna snacks.
BC: Know-it-all!
EM: How many times have I told you that you shouldn't bet against black?
The Boy got in BIG trouble recently in The Boy is back!
Worm-sharing ... eww ...
BC: Thanks A LOT!
EM: Erm ... what did I do?
BC: You gave me your disgusting worms!
EM: You met Beau, Flo, Glo, Joe, Lo, Moe, Po and Stephanie?
BC: I thought you weren't on a first-name basis with your worms!
EM: You were right ... being up my butt kind of makes us on a first-name basis.
BC: Maybe if you'd been less hospitable, they'd have left already!
EM: Maybe if YOU were less hospitable, they wouldn't be in YOUR butt!
BC: I ... you ... YOU ... I ... *@&##!
MK: Tuna snacks? Five dollars. Catnip banana? Six dollars. Watching the "dumb" cat school the "smart" one? PRICELESS.
If you missed the series on Ellie's worms, please check out Let's talk about ... WORMS?!? and Ellie and Her Butt-worms.
© 2020 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Published by K. Kern.
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern], 2015-2020. No content on Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat may be used without the owner's [K. Kern] written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact cats@mommakatandherbearcat.com.
Nice to catch up with you. Thanks for making my mum smile. You guys are so funny together :)
ReplyDeleteWe're so glad we made your Mum smile, Athena!
DeleteAlways plenty going on at your place!
ReplyDeleteThe Florida Furkids
Smellie is always SO dramatic! ~Bear Cat
DeleteIt's nice to see you two and I'm glad you have become best friends MOL!
ReplyDeleteHWK! HWK! HAWCK!!!! BARF! Best friends ... with HER?! I've never been so insulted! ~Bear Cat
DeleteOMCS....your Momma did a wonderful job of filling us in on the antics of you two and the humans.
ReplyDeleteYou know I like me some kitties in boxes and that airplane was quite clever
Hugs and Happy weekend
Cecilia
Madi was the Queen of Boxing for sure!
DeleteThat is one cool airplane, Ellie Mae! Dexter has his spaceship and Woodrow has his race car. But now they may want an airplane too!
ReplyDeleteI want a tank. Full of tasty whole chickens. Just saying. ~Bear Cat
DeleteYou guys are such lucky that your mom designs boxes for you. We don't ever get that!
ReplyDeleteSome humans should leave the crafts to others ... DIY isn't exactly Momma's forte! Smellie was nice ... I would've ripped the construction paper off! ~Bear Cat
DeleteWow, so much happens in your place! Around here it's tea parties, napping, WI meetings (often the same as napping), making scones (Mrs H) and watching Mrs H make scones (me), that sort of thing. Tell me, as I'm keen to know, do your staff take turns to do the washing up, and if so, which one is best?
ReplyDeletePurrs
ERin
Did you say SCONES?!?! ~Kat
DeletePoor Momma. She's obsessed with scones and a bit flighty. My Momma does most of the cleaning up! ~Bear Cat
There is always so much going on with you two to keep everyone amused!
ReplyDeleteWe think this is the only reason The Boy sticks around ... amusement!
DeleteYour human was so clever with that Amazon box! We enjoyed catching up on your adventures.
ReplyDeleteSome humans should leave the crafts to others ... DIY isn't exactly Momma's forte!
DeleteSeems as if Bear and Ellie have a real friendship!
ReplyDeleteI find that insulting and offensive! ~Bear Cat
DeleteLike you, Bear!?! ~Ellie Mae
Looks like things are about the same at your house. That’s a cool airplane, Ellie.
ReplyDeleteWe dig routine!
DeleteLooks like you have all been busy and having fun. I love the plane- very cool.
ReplyDeleteFun? With Smellie? Hahaha ... huh. It IS fun to make fun of her! ~Bear Cat
DeleteYou guys always have such fun at your house. Ellie, we love that you have such a vendetta againzt that red dot. We feel the same way!
ReplyDeleteBear ignores the little red dot! I guess he likes to dig his claws and fangs in his toys ... but I'm not that picky! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteFrom airplanes to windows, you guys cover it all and cutely at that! 😻
ReplyDeleteIncluding an airplane WITH windows!
DeleteI LOVE your airplane! I know that Angel Admiral whispered that she had one too! She really did. Mom made it for her after she caught a mouse in the house. Ellie, let's both go for a ride in your new plane around with our homes. We will buzz Bear and make him squeal. Wanna?
ReplyDeleteYou know just what to say to a girl annoyed with her brofur! And your idea sounds fun! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteWhat a lovely house! you seemed to have great fun with it!
ReplyDeleteWhile it lasted anyway! Once I posted the pictures of Ellie enjoying her plane, she stopped using it!
DeleteYou guys never have a dull moment.
ReplyDeleteDull?!? What is that? Like Smellie's brain power? ~Bear Cat
DeleteAMARULA: Farts are one of my best weapons too Bear!
ReplyDeleteWith two brothers, that's kind of hard to believe! I like a gal with a unique eau de toilette! ~Bear Cat
Delete