Giving Thanks for Momma's Birthday

You'd think a birthday might earn some special treatment from one's cats - except when they're too busy being cats to realize it's one's birthday. Kat celebrated her birthday last week - the day before Thanksgiving ... here are just a few of the birthday "celebrations" she was treated to. What was your long Thanksgiving weekend like?

BC: Bear Cat Kat [handsome tabby cat]

EM: Ellie Mae Kat [black, gorgeously floofy cat]

MK: Momma Kat [Bear and Ellie's human Momma, named Kat]

The Boy: Momma's fiance

To learn more about the characters, please visit ... Characters.

Birthday celebrations ... with cats

Momma sits down on the floor to give the cats treats ...

MK: WHA?

{Both cats GASP!}

MK: EWW!

BC: Yuck!

EM: Eww! You sat on our food plate, Momma!

BC: I can see your butt print in our food!

EM: Well, not the ENTIRE butt print ... Momma's butt is ... err ... more significant than the plate.

BC: I think this is what they call dinner and a show.

MK: Gross.

BC: I know!

MK: NO! Gross for me!

EM: Not as gross as it is for us!

MK: Happy birthday to me!

EM: Wait ... your idea of celebrating your birthday is to sit on our food plate?

MK: I DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE!

BC: Then again, in terms of birthday celebrations, sitting on a plate of food is MUCH less messy than Smellie jumping out of a cake.

EM: Cake?!?!

BC: FOCUS, Smellie! FOCUS!

EM: YUM! {To Momma} Your pants smell like tuna!

MK: ELLIE! Stop licking my pants!

BC: Now THERE'S something you don't hear every day.

EM: If it's not food, why are your pants made of yum?

MK: BECAUSE I SAT ON YOUR FOOD PLATE!

BC: You don't have to brag about it!

MK: I didn't do it on purpose!

EM: Then why did you do it?

BC: Yeah! When I barf on The Boy's pillow, I always say I didn't do it on purpose - but I'm lying!

MK: Why would I PURPOSELY sit in your wet food?

BC: Revenge!

MK: For what?

BC: The doughnut I sat on.

MK: I forgot about that!

BC: I didn't.

MK: Huh. Now I don't feel so bad.

BC: If you start licking every piece of kibble in my food bowl like I do when you get out a package of cookies ... I'll unleash a hell you can only imagine around here!

MK: EWW!

EM: EWW! Momma, you wouldn't lick our kibble, would you? That's something BEAR does so that I eat out of the OTHER food bowl!

MK: No, Ellie. I won't lick your kibble like Bear is careful to lick every single cookie in an open package.

EM: Wait ... Bear licks your cookies? Why can't I lick your cookies?

{The Boy walks in the front door}

MK: FOR PETE'S SAKE, NO ONE SHOULD BE LICKING MY COOKIES!

The Boy: Erm ... should I come back later? I seem to be interrupting something ... that I don't want to know about.

MK: NO!

EM: YES!

BC: YES!

The Boy: Okay.

EM: Momma sat on our wet food plate! I don't want it anymore!

The Boy: Was that the only open space she could sit on? You cats have so many toys and paper and boxes all over ...

BC: Who asked you?

EM: YEAH!

BC: {sniffing the smashed wet food} It still smells okay ... for being flat.

EM: What?

BC: {starting to eat} My-th foodth!

EM: Hey! That's my food too!

BC: You said you don't want it anymore!

EM: MOMMA!!!!

Goldilocks and The Bear ... aka Mommas can't win ... even on their birthdays.

MK: Okay, Bear. Time for your insulin shot.

BC: #@(# your (#@&%!!! I don't care if it's your *@&#))ing birthday!

MK: I'll be patient and just wait.

BC: Wait until the cows come home!

MK: 🎝🎜🎝 Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! 🎝🎜🎝

{Momma and Bear stare each other down as Momma continues to sing}

MK: Come on, Bear. It will only take me a few seconds.

BC: No.

EM: {GASP!!!!} Momma! How DARE you?!?

MK: Erm ... what?

EM: You're sitting in and ON my bed! That's MY bed! How could you do that to me?

MK: I'll be done in a minute! I have to give Bear his insulin shot.

BC: Ha. You won't be done any time soon!

MK: Pipe down. I'm prepared to ...

{Pause}

MK: SON OF A *ITCH!!! Remind me WHY I brush your teeth just so you can keep your teeth and maul me?

BC: I told you!

EM: MoooooooommmmmMA! That's my bed!

MK: Just wait a minute ...

EM: YOU'RE SMASHING MY BED!

BC: You did say her butt was more significant in size than the plate ...

MK: It'll be fine!

BC: You better move, Momma! You know how Smellie gets when she's mad!

MK: AHA! Insulin shot done!

BC: What? RATS!

MK: {getting up} There you go, Sm ... err ... I mean, Ellie!

EM: {jumping in the bed} You stretched out and smooshed my bed, Momma! I'm never going to be comfortable again!

MK: I guess I'll start calling you Goldilocks.

EM: Haha. VERY funny, Momma! I'm really mad at you!

{Pause as Ellie gets up from her smooshed and stretched bed}

EM: Since my bed is ruined, I'll have to take my nap on your hard printer. Hmph. Feel the burn of my back of disrespect.

Momma's favorite birthday gift (with a bit of catitude) ...

MK: OH. MY. GOODNESS!!!!

EM: Uh oh. Bear! Momma found your mess!

{Pause}

EM: Or your tasty whole chickens!

BC: {perking up} Tasty whole chickens?!?

MK: Bear's on the top perch of the cat tree! For so long, he wasn't jumping except to get in bed with me. And now he's climbing the cat tree again!

EM: So? I'm up there all the time!

MK: But it's BEAR up there! Happy birthday to me!

BC: It's all about YOU! You never mention OUR birthdays!

MK: I don't know your birthday, Bear. Only Ellie's. Do you want to celebrate HER birthday?

EM: YES!

BC: Never mind.

EM: HEY!

MK: Bear, you look uncomfortable!

BC: This cat bed is much smaller than it used to be!

EM: Yeah. I think Momma shrank it in the wash!

MK: RIGHT. It's the dryer's fault.

BC: Are you calling Smellie fat?

EM: What?!?!?

BC: Besides, I hear you and The Boy blaming the dryer for shrinking your clothes ALL THE TIME! And YOUR clothes shrink BETWEEN washings!

MK: I've got to take a few pictures of Bear on the top perch of the cat tree!

BC: And by a few, you mean a few hundred?

EM: BUT I'M UP THERE ALL! THE! TIME! And Momma never takes a picture of ME?!?!

BC: It's not attractive when your fat spills over the side of the perch.

EM: {screeching} WHAT?!?!?!?! WHAT. DID. YOU. JUST. SAY?!

BC: Momma was DEFINITELY calling you fat earlier.

EM: I'm not going to forget what you said! I'm not letting you off THAT easy this time, Bear!

BC: {looking annoyed} Haven't you taken enough pictures yet, woman?!?! I should charge by the shot!

EM: But I'm up there all the time and Momma never takes pictures of me!

BC: {thinking to himself} Maybe if I pretend Momma's not there, she'll go away.

{Pause as Momma continues to snap pictures of Bear}

BC: {thinking to himself} NO?!?!?! I should've known ignoring her won't make her quit.

{Momma moves around the cat tree to get a picture of Bear's face}

BC: IS NOTHING SACRED!?!?

EM: I'M. UP. THERE. ALL. THE. TIME. AND. NO. ONE. MAKES. A. BIG. DEAL. ABOUT. ME!!!

The icing on Momma's birthday cake ...

BC: {in Momma's arms ... in bed} I love you, Momma.

MK: I love you too, Bear.

BC: I don't like all the stuff you do to me, but I feel better afterward - so thank you, Momma.

MK: You're welcome. I can't deal with you being in pain. I'm glad between the new medicine and the pain medicine, you're back to being yourself - instead of hobbling around here with arthritis.

BC: But don't tell anyone I said thank you. I have street cred to uphold.

MK: Mum's the word.

BC: What word? Oh! A secret password?! Wait! Is this the password that will allow me to bask in the tastiness of my whole chickens?! I know my nirvana awaits ...

{Ellie howls}

BC: Uh oh. Something's wrong with Smellie!

{More howling}

MK: I love you, Bear.

{More howling}

MK: Bear?

BC: I can barely hear anything over that howling!

MK: I love this time together we get each morning after The Boy leaves for work.

BC: I better go check on Smellie!

MK: But ...

BC: Sorry, Momma! I have to make sure Smellie's okay!

MK: I thought I came first? You don't love me more than Smell ... I mean, Ellie?

BC: It's just business, Momma. And besides, when The Boy moved in, I had to share YOU with HIM. Yuck.

MK: But it's my birthday! I want to snuggle with my Handsome Stripe-y Pants!

BC: {jumping off the bed} Too bad, Momma. Smellie needs me!

MK: Phht. So much for Happy Birthday!

EM: {out in the other room with Bear} You won't leave me alone, right, Bear? I get scared when I can't find my people.

BC: I won't leave you alone.

EM: Promise?

BC: Yes.

EM: You're not just saying that, are you?

BC: No.

EM: Because Momma says I shouldn't trust a thing you say.

BC: This is different - you're my little sisfur, and I have to protect you.

EM: Really? You LIKE me?

BC: Don't push it.

EM: So you don't want to ... umm ... snuggle?

BC: No.

EM: Oh. Okay. No biggie.

[The next day] What's Thanksgiving without a little begging?!

BC: Ummm ... did someone forget to tell me it's Thanksgiving Dinner time?!

The Boy: Stop begging.

BC: I'm not begging. I'm demanding. I'll take some of that turkey ... a bit of stuffing ... and gravy! Put it on a plate, thank you - I'll eat in my office.

The Boy: No.

BC: But you're busy figuring out what's on television! Surely you can spare some of your abundances with a starving kitty cat.

The Boy: You're not starving.

BC: Give me food, or I'm going to tell Momma that you gave me tons of food.

The Boy: Fine. Then you won't get any from me ... and you won't get any from her since she'll think you got tons of food from me.

{Silence as Bear thinks}

BC: RATS!

{Pause}

BC: I hate you.

The Boy: You can sit there and stare at me for as long as you want. No food. Try your Momma when she comes back.

BC: Phht! Momma's tough! You let me outside to do my cat stuff and give me snacks ... Momma's just mean.

The Boy: She loves you and wants what's best for you.

BC: Good. Then she'll want you to fork over some of that turkey and gravy. Just a note ... but it would be best for you to give me some noms too.

MK: {seeing Bear on the ottoman staring The Boy down} BEAR!

BC: Erm ...

MK: GET DOWN and stop staring at The Boy begging for food!

BC: So much for Thanksgiving! Everyone is selfish! Well, I'm NOT thankful for either of you!

MK: Bear, stop staring at me.

BC: My stomach just rumbled! I'm hungry, and you have tons of food!

MK: No.

BC: Fine! I'll sit here and stare at you both until I get some food.

MK: Suit yourself.

{A half-hour passes ... dinner is over ... Momma and The Boy get up}

Five minutes later ...

MK: Haha! Bear tired himself out begging for food!

The Boy: Hahaha.

MK: He's snoring!

The Boy: I guess he wasn't THAT hungry.

EM: Did someone say food?

MK: Uh oh.

In one of our next posts, we'll share a special birthday gift Momma got ... and the cats' reaction to this gift. In the meantime, here's a preview of the fun times:

All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern], 2015-2020. No content on Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat may be used without the owner's [K. Kern] written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact cats@mommakatandherbearcat.com.

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If you'd like to read more about Momma's past birthdays and our past Thanksgiving ...