BC: Bear Cat Kat [handsome tabby cat]
EM: Ellie Mae Kat [black, gorgeously floofy cat]
MK: Momma Kat [Bear and Ellie's human Momma, named Kat]
The Boy: Momma's fiance
{Ellie jumps in the window, where she finds Bear}
EM: Hi, Bear!
BC: {sigh}.
EM: HIIIIIIII!!!!
{Silence}
EM: Bear?
{Silence}
EM: HIIIIIIII-EY!
BC: {sigh} BYE-EY!
EM: What are you doing?
BC: Not talking to you. Which you apparently didn't get even though I was ignoring you.
EM: But we're friends, right?
BC: I cannot confirm or deny that we're friends.
EM: But that's what you told me when you wanted the catnip banana I was sitting on! You said friends share.
BC: Yes. I said that. And it's true. But I never said WE are friends.
EM: You made me THINK we're friends?
BC: Phht. I don't think you THINK at all.
EM: I'll have you know that even if we were friends, I wouldn't want to be your friend anyway!
BC: Can I get that in writing?
EM: I'm tired of you being mean to me!
BC: I just tell the truth.
EM: Well ... err ... YOUR TRUTH SUCKS!
BC: Go away.
EM: Why?
BC: I want to be alone.
EM: WHY?
BC: Because!
EM: What are you doing?
BC: CAT STUFF!
EM: Like what?
BC: Phht. It's Top AND Bottom Secret and you don't have clearance because you don't fit!
EM: Cat stuff, like what?
BC: Ignoring you.
EM: Oh. There's Momma! She's home!
BC: SHE IS?!?!
EM: I thought you were ignoring me!
BC: Oh, look! Momma's home!
EM: Very funny.
{Both cats jump out of the window and run to the front door to meet Momma}
BC: Momma! I finally have a day!
MK: To do what?
EM: {GASP!} OH NO! Bear has a day to live! He's dying!
{Pause}
EM: Hmmmm ... COOL! Don't worry, Bear, I'll take good care of your toys. And Momma. And the cat tree. And ...
BC: Calm down, there, grasshopper ... as appealing as getting away from you is, my demise is not in the cards.
EM: Well, THAT'S not very nice.
BC: As if you have room to talk.
EM: Stop making fun of my ... my ... err ... curviness!
BC: I wasn't making fun of you! Err ... this time. You don't have room to talk because you said "COOL!" when you thought I was dying.
EM: But why do you have a day then? I don't get it.
BC: I guess the more accurate way to communicate what I'm thinking is ... I HAVE A DATE!
EM: That's so romantic!
BC: Well, if you say so ... but that's not really the word I'd use. More like ... well deserved. Maybe overdue?
MK: It's sweet you put so much work into romancing ...
BC: Romance has nothing to do with it!
MK: Err ... okay. Romance is kind of necessary, but I hope your date goes well!
BC: It's me! OF COURSE it will go well.
EM: Just a little full of yourself, aren't you?
BC: Considering the issue, I'd say it's appropriate. I AM awesome. Which is why I have a date!
EM: THIS, I've GOT to see!
BC: I'm so glad you mentioned that! You will see for yourself - because you and Momma will have starring roles on my date.
MK: A chaperone?
BC: Phht. You're going to give a speech about how wonderful I am.
MK: Do you think that's necessary?
BC: That's the whole point!
EM: What's my job?
BC: Stay out of the way.
EM: Oh.
BC: Well, if you really want to be part of it ...
EM: YEAH!
BC: Worship me.
EM: Hahahahahaha.
BC: I wasn't kidding! You can worship me.
EM: That's never going to happen. You expect us to talk you up on your date? Don't you think she'd already know ...
BC: FINE. If you don't want to participate, I'll leave you out.
EM: Well, I didn't say I didn't WANT ...
MK: ELLIE! You don't have to worship your brother.
EM: No, no. I can at least pretend ... for the cause and all.
BC: Just don't say anything stupid.
MK: I think you should take your own advice ... ESPECIALLY on your date!
BC: Phht. I couldn't say ANYTHING stupid.
{Pause}
BC: You know, on second thought, Smellie, keep your mouth shut on my date.
EM: You just did say something stupid.
BC: Should kisses and hugs be required on my date?
EM: Required? Isn't that a little ...
BC: Yeah. You're right. I wouldn't want hugs or kisses from you.
EM: Now wait a minute ...
BC: I haven't decided how to spend the time though! I want to remember my date always! It must be memorable. What do I do for my date?
MK: Shouldn't the issue be WHAT DO WE DO?
BC: That's a good point! Since you and Smellie are part of this ... And since I'll be the focus of the attention and the date is all about me ...
EM: I kind of feel sorry for ...
BC: All the losers that don't have a date?
EM: HEY! Just because I don't have a date doesn't make me a loser.
BC: If you say so. Then again, you're a loser for a lot more reasons than just that!
EM: I just haven't met the love of my life yet.
BC: What's that have to do with anything?
EM: I'd want a date with the love of my life!
BC: Phht. Have some fun. A date with one love here, another with another there ... the love doesn't matter ... it's the date above all! The date stands alone!
EM: You're just a bad boy! Having fun with the hearts of ladies!
BC: And besides, with as much time as you spend at the food bowl, I'd say you've found the love of your life anyway.
EM: THAT'S NOT VERY NICE!
MK: So what are you doing to prepare for your date?
BC: I must look my best! I plan to go all out! Face wash, butt wash, claw shine, maybe tame my floofy belly furs ...
MK: I'll brush your teeth and brush your fur the night before. Maybe clip your claws?
BC: Phht. I said I want to look my best, I didn't say I want to be tortured. Besides, I need my claws just in case a smackdown is necessary on my date.
EM: What a lucky girl.
BC: What do girls have to do with anything?
EM: OH!
MK: Oh, my.
EM: It's okay, Bear. We love you no matter what. I'm proud of you that you're ready to come out of the closet.
BC: BUT I'M NOT IN THE CLOSET! I'M RIGHT HERE!
EM: You don't have to deny it.
BC: I'm not denying anything!
EM: If you want to have a romantic encounter with a man ...
BC: Romantic encounter? With a MAN? What's that have to do with my date?
EM: A date is a romantic encounter with someone you're interested in!
BC: No! My date is the day we celebrate Bear Appreciation Day! I have a date for Bear Appreciation Day!
EM: Shouldn't the date be about your man or lady friend?
MK: Oooooh! That's right. You were trying to come up with an updated version of Share Bear Day.
BC: YES! That's my date! JUNE FIFTH!
MK: That's Carmine's Gotcha Day!
BC: Who?
MK: The handsome, sweet ginger gentlecat from Fur Everywhere.
BC: I want my OWN date! I already made the flyers with the date though!
MK: Flyers?
EM: Phht. You just got home. They're ALL OVER the house!
EM: But we're friends, right?
BC: I cannot confirm or deny that we're friends.
EM: But that's what you told me when you wanted the catnip banana I was sitting on! You said friends share.
BC: Yes. I said that. And it's true. But I never said WE are friends.
EM: You made me THINK we're friends?
BC: Phht. I don't think you THINK at all.
EM: I'll have you know that even if we were friends, I wouldn't want to be your friend anyway!
BC: Can I get that in writing?
EM: I'm tired of you being mean to me!
BC: I just tell the truth.
EM: Well ... err ... YOUR TRUTH SUCKS!
BC: Go away.
EM: Why?
BC: I want to be alone.
EM: WHY?
BC: Because!
EM: What are you doing?
BC: CAT STUFF!
EM: Like what?
BC: Phht. It's Top AND Bottom Secret and you don't have clearance because you don't fit!
EM: Cat stuff, like what?
BC: Ignoring you.
EM: Oh. There's Momma! She's home!
BC: SHE IS?!?!
EM: I thought you were ignoring me!
BC: Oh, look! Momma's home!
EM: Very funny.
{Both cats jump out of the window and run to the front door to meet Momma}
BC: Momma! I finally have a day!
MK: To do what?
EM: {GASP!} OH NO! Bear has a day to live! He's dying!
{Pause}
EM: Hmmmm ... COOL! Don't worry, Bear, I'll take good care of your toys. And Momma. And the cat tree. And ...
BC: Calm down, there, grasshopper ... as appealing as getting away from you is, my demise is not in the cards.
EM: Well, THAT'S not very nice.
BC: As if you have room to talk.
EM: Stop making fun of my ... my ... err ... curviness!
BC: I wasn't making fun of you! Err ... this time. You don't have room to talk because you said "COOL!" when you thought I was dying.
EM: But why do you have a day then? I don't get it.
BC: I guess the more accurate way to communicate what I'm thinking is ... I HAVE A DATE!
EM: That's so romantic!
BC: Well, if you say so ... but that's not really the word I'd use. More like ... well deserved. Maybe overdue?
MK: It's sweet you put so much work into romancing ...
BC: Romance has nothing to do with it!
MK: Err ... okay. Romance is kind of necessary, but I hope your date goes well!
BC: It's me! OF COURSE it will go well.
EM: Just a little full of yourself, aren't you?
BC: Considering the issue, I'd say it's appropriate. I AM awesome. Which is why I have a date!
EM: THIS, I've GOT to see!
BC: I'm so glad you mentioned that! You will see for yourself - because you and Momma will have starring roles on my date.
MK: A chaperone?
BC: Phht. You're going to give a speech about how wonderful I am.
MK: Do you think that's necessary?
BC: That's the whole point!
EM: What's my job?
BC: Stay out of the way.
EM: Oh.
BC: Well, if you really want to be part of it ...
EM: YEAH!
BC: Worship me.
EM: Hahahahahaha.
BC: I wasn't kidding! You can worship me.
EM: That's never going to happen. You expect us to talk you up on your date? Don't you think she'd already know ...
BC: FINE. If you don't want to participate, I'll leave you out.
EM: Well, I didn't say I didn't WANT ...
MK: ELLIE! You don't have to worship your brother.
EM: No, no. I can at least pretend ... for the cause and all.
BC: Just don't say anything stupid.
MK: I think you should take your own advice ... ESPECIALLY on your date!
BC: Phht. I couldn't say ANYTHING stupid.
{Pause}
BC: You know, on second thought, Smellie, keep your mouth shut on my date.
EM: You just did say something stupid.
BC: Should kisses and hugs be required on my date?
EM: Required? Isn't that a little ...
BC: Yeah. You're right. I wouldn't want hugs or kisses from you.
EM: Now wait a minute ...
BC: I haven't decided how to spend the time though! I want to remember my date always! It must be memorable. What do I do for my date?
MK: Shouldn't the issue be WHAT DO WE DO?
BC: That's a good point! Since you and Smellie are part of this ... And since I'll be the focus of the attention and the date is all about me ...
EM: I kind of feel sorry for ...
BC: All the losers that don't have a date?
EM: HEY! Just because I don't have a date doesn't make me a loser.
BC: If you say so. Then again, you're a loser for a lot more reasons than just that!
EM: I just haven't met the love of my life yet.
BC: What's that have to do with anything?
EM: I'd want a date with the love of my life!
BC: Phht. Have some fun. A date with one love here, another with another there ... the love doesn't matter ... it's the date above all! The date stands alone!
EM: You're just a bad boy! Having fun with the hearts of ladies!
BC: And besides, with as much time as you spend at the food bowl, I'd say you've found the love of your life anyway.
EM: THAT'S NOT VERY NICE!
MK: So what are you doing to prepare for your date?
BC: I must look my best! I plan to go all out! Face wash, butt wash, claw shine, maybe tame my floofy belly furs ...
MK: I'll brush your teeth and brush your fur the night before. Maybe clip your claws?
BC: Phht. I said I want to look my best, I didn't say I want to be tortured. Besides, I need my claws just in case a smackdown is necessary on my date.
EM: What a lucky girl.
BC: What do girls have to do with anything?
EM: OH!
MK: Oh, my.
EM: It's okay, Bear. We love you no matter what. I'm proud of you that you're ready to come out of the closet.
BC: BUT I'M NOT IN THE CLOSET! I'M RIGHT HERE!
EM: You don't have to deny it.
BC: I'm not denying anything!
EM: If you want to have a romantic encounter with a man ...
BC: Romantic encounter? With a MAN? What's that have to do with my date?
EM: A date is a romantic encounter with someone you're interested in!
BC: No! My date is the day we celebrate Bear Appreciation Day! I have a date for Bear Appreciation Day!
EM: Shouldn't the date be about your man or lady friend?
MK: Oooooh! That's right. You were trying to come up with an updated version of Share Bear Day.
BC: YES! That's my date! JUNE FIFTH!
MK: That's Carmine's Gotcha Day!
BC: Who?
MK: The handsome, sweet ginger gentlecat from Fur Everywhere.
BC: I want my OWN date! I already made the flyers with the date though!
MK: Flyers?
EM: Phht. You just got home. They're ALL OVER the house!
MK: Great. Bear, where did you get the tape to put them up on the walls?
BC: Err ... tape?
EM: He found the nails and the hammer!
MK: BEAR CAT KAT!
BC: My full name ... in caps ... if that's not appreciation, I don't know what is.
EM: Bear tried to attach one sign to my tail!
MK: BEAR!
BC: Oops?
EM: Let's just say he's not so fast with that hammer in his paw.
MK: Although, knowing Bear's "date" is just Bear Appreciation Day makes SO much more sense.
EM: THAT'S why he expected us to be part of his "date."
MK: And why he wondered if kisses and hugs should be required ...
EM: And why he wasn't interested in romance ...
MK: And why he said HE didn't know what to do - instead of taking into account what a romantic interest might want to do.
BC: HEY! If a lady cat is lucky enough to have a romantic date with me, we do what I want!
MK: Umm ...
EM: No wonder he's never had a romantic date.
BC: Look who's talking! Besides, I have PRIORITIES.
EM: Like what?
BC: ME!
EM: Erm ...
The Boy: {walking out of the bathroom} Did you know Bear Appreciation Day is June Fifth? There are flyers all over the house - even in the bathroom!
BC: A little late to the party, aren't you?
The Boy: What? What party?
MK: Don't ask.
BC: You know, I could charge admission for Bear Appreciation Day.
EM: Charge us? To be nice to you?
BC: You don't understand the fundamental aspect of being a cat. Make others serve you - and make them thank you for the privilege.
The Boy: That about sums it up.
MK: Oh, really? I seem to remember making someone's lunch and dinner ... helping him ...
The Boy: But I never demanded you thank me for the privilege!
EM: Oh, Daddy.
The Boy: What? Where did the ladies go?
BC: You're on your own here.
The Boy: What? Was it something I said? You know, we should have a Boy Appreciation Day around here!
BC: I think Momma's making up your bed in the doghouse. I can't be seen talking to you.
The Boy: What?! Why? HOW DO I ALWAYS END UP GETTING IN TROUBLE AROUND HERE?
BC: {from the other room} Because you keep opening your mouth! Even I know when to cut my losses and shut up!
© 2020 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Published by K. Kern.
Featured posts:
BC: Err ... tape?
EM: He found the nails and the hammer!
MK: BEAR CAT KAT!
BC: My full name ... in caps ... if that's not appreciation, I don't know what is.
EM: Bear tried to attach one sign to my tail!
MK: BEAR!
BC: Oops?
EM: Let's just say he's not so fast with that hammer in his paw.
MK: Although, knowing Bear's "date" is just Bear Appreciation Day makes SO much more sense.
EM: THAT'S why he expected us to be part of his "date."
MK: And why he wondered if kisses and hugs should be required ...
EM: And why he wasn't interested in romance ...
MK: And why he said HE didn't know what to do - instead of taking into account what a romantic interest might want to do.
BC: HEY! If a lady cat is lucky enough to have a romantic date with me, we do what I want!
MK: Umm ...
EM: No wonder he's never had a romantic date.
BC: Look who's talking! Besides, I have PRIORITIES.
EM: Like what?
BC: ME!
EM: Erm ...
The Boy: {walking out of the bathroom} Did you know Bear Appreciation Day is June Fifth? There are flyers all over the house - even in the bathroom!
BC: A little late to the party, aren't you?
The Boy: What? What party?
MK: Don't ask.
BC: You know, I could charge admission for Bear Appreciation Day.
EM: Charge us? To be nice to you?
BC: You don't understand the fundamental aspect of being a cat. Make others serve you - and make them thank you for the privilege.
The Boy: That about sums it up.
MK: Oh, really? I seem to remember making someone's lunch and dinner ... helping him ...
The Boy: But I never demanded you thank me for the privilege!
EM: Oh, Daddy.
The Boy: What? Where did the ladies go?
BC: You're on your own here.
The Boy: What? Was it something I said? You know, we should have a Boy Appreciation Day around here!
BC: I think Momma's making up your bed in the doghouse. I can't be seen talking to you.
The Boy: What?! Why? HOW DO I ALWAYS END UP GETTING IN TROUBLE AROUND HERE?
BC: {from the other room} Because you keep opening your mouth! Even I know when to cut my losses and shut up!
© 2020 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Published by K. Kern.
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern], 2015-2020. No content on Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat may be used without the owner's [K. Kern] written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact cats@mommakatandherbearcat.com.
Featured posts:
- If you missed Bear's first version of Bear Appreciation Day, you may read about it in Share Bear Day.
- To read past posts associated with Bear's mis-use of signs:
- B-Cube and his posse.
- Humor returns to the Momma Kat household [mostly].
- Tabby cat lives matter {and other stories}.
- Share Bear Day.
- Ellie finally has enough.
- There's a sign for that.
- Thanksgiving {kind of}.
- Poopetiquette.
- The ignominious scandal.
- How to get to ...
- The name game.
- The custody "arrangement."
- Drawing the line.
- Wear your tail loud and proud (Bear post).
- Momma's resolutions.
- Momma shaming.
- TMC ISO TWC.
- Momma's resolutions.
- I'm the shark.
- How to get to Bear's food bowl.
- Imitation: the sincerest form of flattery.
- Don't embed on me.
- And your little teeth too.
Bear MOL MOL MOL MOL excuse me your Royal Bear-ness of course so you are like the news when they say at the end of a broad cast, "you are in the know, because we are in the know"!
ReplyDeleteLove it hugs cecilia
I quite like His Royal Bear-ness. I might start demanding to be addressed as such until further notice! ~Bear Cat
DeleteOh yeah, we'll be there to celebrate B.A.D.!
ReplyDeleteWe expect Manny and CB to be in top form!
DeleteWe sure wouldn't miss that celebration!
ReplyDeleteWe bet Simon's first in line!
DeleteBear Appreciation Day sounds like quite the pawty! We'll be there. Manna and Dexter love a good pawty. :)
ReplyDeleteWe can't wait!
Deletedood.....sew....when iz bear apurrecation day again !!!! :) :) :) ♥♥♥
ReplyDeleteJUNE FIFTH. And we won't invite any bass terd birds!
DeleteWe will definitely be here for the celebration. I want to know who the lucky lady is- Miss Mudpie?
ReplyDeleteErm ... I have to chose one? ~Bear Cat
DeleteConsider Bear Appreciation Day copied to my calendar!
ReplyDeleteYAY!
DeleteBear, that date WILL be in my calendar as soon as I get off of the CB for the evening. Um..one teensy eensy small, minuscule tad of advice....um...to have a date later with a girl cat...um...you might ask Ellie Mae what to say to the lucky girlcat and how to say it. Females of all species are the same. That's for a romantic date I am telling you these things that Tuxie's know. For events around the house, obviously, you rool! The Boy...well, um...1. Don't listen to Bear. No one is to entertain the thought of making others in the household glad they served you--- for the privilege it is, (though Momma here always thanks me for my help whether she wants it of not). YOU are after Miss MudPie? What about glorious, tailored Tuxie girls? MudPie looks like a scrumptious Snickers bar! Oh. That's why you're after her...her beauty? See if I show you MY bikini again!
ReplyDeleteErm ... Miss Katie Isabella, I was under the impression you are spoken for! Smellie's not a girl! Well, not REALLY. She wouldn't understand the kind of women I'd want to date! ~Bear Cat
DeleteNow THAT will be a celebration!
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, I have Michael Jackson's BAD in my head now :)
DeleteAMARULA: You scared me for a minute there! Thought you had a date with another tortie!! And I think everyday should be Bear Appreciation Day!!!!
ReplyDeleteSee?!? This is why there is NO other tortie but you! You get me, Amarula. ~Bear Cat
DeleteWe'll be there! Has Mudpie neglected to tell me something?
ReplyDeleteErm ... no speako Englaish? ~Bear Cat
DeleteWell, that's my birthday, so I'm honored to share that date with you, Bear! ♥
ReplyDeleteWow! Really? Cool!
DeleteBAD huh Bear? Makes purrfect sense. We'd luv to come to your pawrty. Ellie, you be lookin' very purretty. We hope all is well with all of you. And, that there's only a few fleas in the dog house. MOL Big hugs
ReplyDeleteLuv ya'
Dezi and Raena
You ladies are BRILLIANT! Maybe if I add some fleas to the doghouse, Momma won't let The Boy back in the house! ~Bear Cat
DeleteBear Appreciation Day sounds mighty good, even though it's B.A.D.! We are excited for June 5!
ReplyDeleteHow can something so bad be so good ... or maybe it's the other way around?!
DeleteBear Appreciation Day?!? We shall be there!
ReplyDeleteThere's so much support, I'm starting to think it should be every day! Oh, wait ... ~Bear Cat
DeleteThat sounds like a pawsome celebration ! Purrs
ReplyDeleteHow can something so bad be so good ... or maybe it's the other way around?!
DeleteWe actually thought Bear might have a real date with one of those tortie girls he admires. Bear must know that everyday is cat appreciation day, which makes everyday all about him. Bit then, we do realize he mostly only talks and wouldn’t listen if you told him. XOCK, angel Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, Cooper Murphy and Sawyer
ReplyDeleteListen? I don't have that word in my programming scheme ... all that comes up is "DOES NOT COMPUTE." ~Bear Cat
Delete