😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
Where do cats write down their notes?
~~~ On scratch paper! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
~~~ An alley cat! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
~~~ Hailing taxis! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What’s smarter than a talking cat?
~~~ A spelling bee. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
A book never written?
~~~ A Guide to Better Cat Care by Claude Badly. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
~~~ It was a cheetah. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What do you get when you cross an angry cat with a famous painter?
~~~ Clawed Monet! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
Why do you have to be careful when it rains cats and dogs?
~~~ So you don’t step in a poodle! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What do you call a dishonest African cat?
~~~ A “lyin’ cub.” ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
Two robins stuffed themselves with worms until they were too full to fly. Since the birds couldn’t go anywhere, they decided to just sit and soak up the sun. Along came a cat, and it ate them. Licking its paws, the cat said, “I just love baskin’ robins!”
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle?
~~~ Too many cheetahs. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What is a cat’s way of keeping law and order?
~~~ Claw Enforcement. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
~~~ The purrpatrator. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
~~~ Mice Krispies. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
How many cats can you put into an empty box?
~~~ Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
How do cats end a fight?
~~~ They hiss and make up. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What does a cat like to eat on a hot day?
~~~ A mice cream cone. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat?
~~~ A peeping tom. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What kind of kitten works for the Red Cross?
~~~ A first-aid Kit. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
~~~ Because they have nine lives! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
~~~ Because he's always spotted! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
~~~ Catch! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
~~~ To the mewseum. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
~~~ Kitty-hawk. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
~~~ No. How did he hold the rod and reel? ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
Why don't cats like online shopping?
~~~ They prefer a cat-alogue. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
~~~ The Great Catsby. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
~~~ A cat-has-trophy. ~~~
What should you use to comb a cat?
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What should you use to comb a cat?
~~~ A catacomb! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What is a cat's favorite movie?
~~~ The Sound of Mewsic! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What's a cat's favorite magazine?
~~~ Good Mousekeeping! ~~~
Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?
~~~ The re-tail store! ~~~
What's another name for a cat's house?
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What's another name for a cat's house?
~~~ A scratch pad! ~~~
In what kind of weather is a vet the busiest?
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
In what kind of weather is a vet the busiest?
~~~ When it's raining cats and dogs! ~~~
What's a cat's favorite subject in school?
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What's a cat's favorite subject in school?
~~~ Hisss-tory! ~~~
What types of cats purr the best?
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What types of cats purr the best?
~~~ Purrr-sians! ~~~
What sports do cats play?
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What sports do cats play?
~~~ Hairball! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
One of my neighbors owns several cats. On a recent visit, she introduced them to me: "That’s Astrophe, that’s Erpillar, that’s Aract, that’s Alogue." “Where on earth did you get such unusual names?” I asked. “Oh, those are their last names,” she explained. “Their first names are Cat.”
What do you call a cat in a station wagon?
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
~~~ A car-pet. ~~~
What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
~~~ A catastrophe! ~~~
Since my cat is getting old, I'm gonna start calling him by a new name ...
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
Since my cat is getting old, I'm gonna start calling him by a new name ...
~~~ Grandpaw. ~~~
My kitten was having trouble watching her Blu-Ray.
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
My kitten was having trouble watching her Blu-Ray.
~~~ Turns out she just had the movie on paws. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
Your cat is so fat that when it tried to chase the laser pointer, it caused an earthquake.
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
~~~ One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What do you call a flying cat?
~~~ Im-paws-sible. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What do you call an animal that can jump higher than a kangaroo?
~~~ Cathletic. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother's sister?
~~~ An aunt-eater! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What did the cat say when he lost his toys?
~~~ You got to be kitten me. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo?
~~~ A stripey jumper! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
~~~ 'Pleased to eat you.' ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
~~~ Frostbite! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What's a tiger?
~~~ A stri-ped! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What kind of sports car does a cat drive?
~~~ A Furrari. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What do you call a cat who just ate a duck?
~~~ A duck-filled platy-puss. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
Why was the cat scared of the tree?
~~~ Because of its bark. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What do you feed an invisible cat?
~~~ Evaporated milk. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?
~~~ 'Let us prey.' ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
~~~ A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
Did you hear about the cat that thought she was a dog?
~~~ She was purr-plexed. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What do you call a cat that doesn't use the litter box?
~~~ A pet project. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What kind of car does a fat cat drive?
~~~ A Catillac! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
Why was the cat so small?
~~~ Because it only ate condensed milk! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What is a cats favorite kitchen tool?
~~~ The "whisker." ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What do you call a cat that can address the media?
~~~ A Press Kit. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What do you call a painting of a cat?
~~~ A paw-trait ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What do you need to get a fast cat to use the litter box?
~~~ Quicksand. ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
What does a cat say when somebody steps on its tail?
~~~ Me-ow! ~~~
😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸 😸
Sources:
© 2020 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Published by K. Kern.
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern], 2015-2020. No content on Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat may be used without the owner's [K. Kern] written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact cats@mommakatandherbearcat.com.
Oh my word! I slapped my paw on my head and groaned at some of those golden oldies, Bear. You staff must be nearly as old as mine – no hang on that would be impossible, MOL. Anyways curated, doesnt that mean covered in salt and hung out to dry in the sun — just like Mrs H's laundry when we've been to the seaside ;)
ReplyDeletePurrs for the memories and chckles
ERin
My Momma IS that old ... she's just REALLY good at hiding it! ~Bear Cat
DeleteBwahaha! Lots of good (and corny) jokes there.
ReplyDeleteThis [always corny] blog is ours ...
DeleteHey, we enjoyed those, we had no idea there were that many kitty funnies!
ReplyDeleteNeither did we! And there were quite a few I didn't use!
DeleteBear these are hilarious... I think Mom needs to take her show on the road!!Thanks for the giggle.
ReplyDeleteHugs cecilia
PS you have a new blog look too WTG
Thank you on the new look! You're only the second person to say anything. If Momma goes on the road does that mean I'll get tasty whole chickens ... because the trade off ... ~Bear Cat
DeleteMOL! There are so many cat jokes out there - I never knew!
ReplyDeleteNeither did we! And there were quite a few I didn't use!
DeleteHee hee you're got to be kitten me! These were fun Bear, some we knew, some we didn't, a few made us giggle. MOL A nice way to start the weekend. Thanks furiends ;)
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by!
DeleteThose are all great! Nothing better than cat-related jokes...or cat-related anything, for that matter!
ReplyDeleteWe SOOOOOOOOOOOO agree!
DeleteHilarious....my fave is hailing cabs!
ReplyDeleteJean
The Boy didn't like that one! He's got bad taste ;)
DeleteToo funny! Your blog overhaul looks nice, too. :)
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU! That means a lot.
DeleteThose were fun jokes. I need to steal a few for my great niece, she loves to tell jokes at preschool.
ReplyDeleteWord to the wise ... don't get her started on knock knock jokes. It took a good five years to rid my niece and nephew of them!
DeleteThose are all great!
ReplyDeleteWe think so too!
DeleteWow, that's a lot of jokes, Bear. And there were some real gems in there! MOL!
ReplyDeletePhht. Not as much of a gem as I am ... but not everyone can be this fabulous. ~Bear Cat
DeleteThanks for starting my day with a laugh (and a groan or two!). Those jokes have cheered me up no end.
ReplyDeleteNo problem! This is the best way to start just about any day.
DeleteI LOVED these...each and every one! I have enjoyed this as much as anything I have read. I love Vat jokes as long as they are not mean natured by people who hate cats. These are all super! Bear...you did well to turn your momma loose~!
ReplyDeletePhht. My delicate sensibilities are all in a twist. I'll show her. ~Bear Cat
DeleteWOW, that was a big - and fun - bag of chips!
ReplyDeleteThe best kind, right?
DeleteAll excellent jokes. :)
ReplyDeleteWe think so too!
Delete😹You guys crack me up!
ReplyDeleteWe LOVE to hear that!
Delete(OMFP)Oh My Floofy Paws! Tee hee hee. Tee hee hee. Those were the best jokes EVER! And my tummy is telling me it wants some Mice Krispies and some baskin Robbins. Winks.
ReplyDeleteWe'll bring some over ;)
DeleteAhahahha funny, we got a good laugh from these!
ReplyDeleteSome of these are oldies ... but goodies!
Delete