Ellie's day, kind of

Since we didn't post at the end of last week, this is our Halloween post ... a little late. Ellie's excited to find out what "her day" entails and Bear is all too happy to tell her! Her enthusiasm might be a bit ... misplaced. Just when Bear has Ellie convinced, the quiet tips off Momma that something isn't quite right.

BC: Bear Cat Kat
MK: Momma Kat
EM: Ellie Mae Kat
The Boy: Momma's fiance

BC: It's your day!
EM: It is?
BC: Yeah!
EM: Is it my birthday?
BC: Even better!
EM: Ooh! Did I win the lottery?
BC: No.
EM: {looking around} Am I on television? Because I need to groom my tail!
BC: Like grooming can help your tail! You are not on television.
EM: Aww. I want to be a star!
BC: And I want to be an only child ... err ... cat. But is that going to happen?
EM: Am I getting a tasty whole tuna farm?
BC: NO!
EM: Sheesh. Is that any way to treat someone whose day it is?
BC: ARG!!!
EM: Are you hitting the road and loving and leaving torties?
BC: STOP ASKING!
{Pause}
BC: Hmm ... that's a good one.
EM: Then how is it my day?

BC: It's Halloween!
EM: I don't get it.
BC: Halloween is for black cats and the devil.
EM: I don't know the devil!
{Pause}
EM: Well, besides you.
BC: Ha. Ha. Ha. Would you like me to introduce you?
EM: This isn't going to include a visit to the vet, is it? YOU know the devil?
BC: Hey! The more demons you know ...
EM: The more you get in trouble?
BC: It's called NETWORKING.
EM: I thought you don't work. Now you're working to build nets with the devil?
BC: Do you want to meet the devil or not?
EM: Well ...
BC: Close your eyes!
EM: Can I open them?
BC: NO!
EM: I'm scared of the dark!
BC: It's not really dark!
EM: I can't see! Close enough!
BC: Stop whining! The magic required to summon the prince of darkness requires some time!
EM: I want to be the princess of darkness!
BC: I thought you were scared of the dark!
EM: I'm going to ask him!
BC: Oh, for ...
EM: You're not going to do what you did last time?
BC: What did I do last ...
EM: It was NOT very nice!
BC: Oh. THAT. I'm tempted ... the devil must be near!
EM: {making the sign of a cross} OH!

BC: Bibbity bobbity ...
EM: OH!
BC: Boo!
EM: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
{Pause}
EM: Can I open my eyes?
BC: Technical difficulty.
EM: I didn't know the devil was technologically difficult!
BC: All-a-kazam peanut butter and spinach sandwiches!
EM: YUCK!
MK: I just put the vacuum out so you don't forget to do the vacuuming!
The Boy: Okay. I'll do it in a few hours!
EM: The Boy is the devil?
BC: Close. One of his minions. But ...
{Pause}
BC: TADA! Meet El Diablo.
EM: Can I open my eyes?
BC: YES!
EM: I thought you said this was the devil?! Not L. Dabo!
BC: It is!
EM: Then why is it named El Diablo?
BC: It means "devil" in Spanish.
EM: Oh. The Spans use strange words.
BC: I'm going to regret this but ... the spans?
EM: The people who speak Spanish!
BC: Yep. Too late.
EM: Wait a minute ... the vacuum is the devil?!

BC: Don't let it fool you.
EM: I thought there were supposed to be horns and a pitchfork and all that?!
BC: Is it evil?
EM: It DOES eat my toys!
BC: Be careful, or it will eat your soul.
EM: I have sole? Where?! I LOVE fishy!
BC: Ugh. Having a dental cleaning is easier than dealing with you.
EM: Are you sure it's safe?
BC: Would I lie to you?
EM: Ummm ...
BC: RATS! I would.
EM: At least you're honest about lying. Didn't Momma just say she put it here?
BC: Ummm ... El Diablo summoned Momma to do his bidding?
EM: WHOOOOOOA! I believe that! After all, she clips our claws, brushes our teeth, steals our poop and takes us to the vet.
BC: Be careful where you stick your nose!
EM: WHY?! I'm going to give this evil beast a piece of my mind!

BC: Good. Because that's all you have left. Don't spend it all in one place.
EM: You are NOT nice!
BC: HEY! I'm the one that introduced you to the devil! And I'M not nice?
EM: I wasn't talking to you! I was talking to L. Dabo.
BC: EL DIABLO!
EM: That's what I said!
BC: Okay. Tell him off.
EM: You are NOT nice! I don't like people or things that aren't nice! You should be ashamed of yourself!
BC: {rolling his eyes} Yeah. You tell him. Oh, brother.
EM: WHAT?! I'm not ashamed of my brother!
{Pause}
EM: Well, most of the time.
BC: Excuse me?
EM: I don't think he's listening!
BC: I sure wish I weren't!
EM: If it's my day, do I get to wear a crown and parade around waving at people?
BC: No.
EM: Then what?
BC: Oh. Never mind. You couldn't handle it.
EM: I COULD TOO! TELL ME!

BC: Do you have a costume?
EM: What?!
BC: On Halloween, you're supposed to wear a costume! And since you're a black cat, THUS BEING YOUR DAY, people can pinch you if you're not dressed up!
EM: REALLY?! I've never heard that! What is Momma dressed up as?
BC: Err ... hmm. You're right. That's not a scary mask. That's her face!
EM: Momma would be REALLY mad at you if she heard you!
BC: Nah. She really only gets super upset when I point out her doughnut butt. But since Momma's not a black cat, she doesn't have to dress up.
EM: So only black cats have to dress up? That seems unfair.
BC: NO! Only black cats are ALLOWED to dress up!
EM: OH! Cool! The one day of the year that house panthers rule!
{Pause}
EM: Ummm ... can we get El Dabo to leave?
BC: EL D ... oh, NEVER MIND!
EM: He freaks me out.
BC: Aren't you worried about your costume? I can pinch you!
EM: What kind of costume?
BC: A booger?
EM: Very funny.
BC: We need to find something to dress you up as!
EM: I don't like to wear clothes!
BC: Nice girls wear clothes and cover up.
EM: They do?
BC: Yeah.
EM: If we're supposed to dress up, what are you?
BC: Err ... I'm dressed as a good brother? It doesn't matter because as I already said, only black cats are supposed ... err ... ALLOWED to dress up!

EM: Those stripe-y pants make your butt look big ... but okay.
BC: Watch it, or I'll take my good brother costume off!
EM: You said only black cats get to dress up. So you can't! HA! You look the same either way. It's hard to tell the difference!
BC: So what do you want to be?
EM: An astronaut!
BC: No ...
EM: A tuna farmer!
BC: Ummm ...
EM: A pop star!
BC: Wait a ...
EM: A DOG!
BC: WHAT?!?! A dog? Where's your pride?
EM: I thought dogs were in a pack and lions were in a pride.
{Pause}
EM: Why do you keep smacking your forehead like that? Do you have brain damage?
BC: Do you EVER shut up?
EM: I try to be friendly!
BC: OH! I have an idea!
EM: What?
BC: I have a costume for you! It's the most popular costume this year!
EM: REALLY? COOL! What is it?
BC: Can I trust you?!
EM: Of course! TELL ME!!!
BC: You can't tell anyone.
EM: OKAY!
BC: Follow me!

EM: This is SO exciting! I get to dress up because it's Halloween and I'm a black cat.
BC: You'll get what you deserve!
EM: Why are you being so nice to me? Are we finally best friends?
BC: TADA!
EM: It's a paper bag!
BC: Does a paper bag talk?
EM: Well, no ...
BC: What does a paper bag do?
EM: IT JUST SITS THERE AND DOESN'T DO ANYTHING!
BC: If you were a paper bag, how would you treat me?
EM: Err ... not talk to you and not follow you around?
BC: Isn't this the best costume?
EM: The best costume for whom?
BC: No one will recognize you!
EM: Hmmm ... I don't know. I don't want Momma to forget about me and not give me my wet food treat.
BC: Okay. I'll pinch you then!
EM: NO! Don't pinch me!
BC: Phht. You SHOULD be pinched. You're allowed to wear a costume on Halloween - unlike me - and you sneer at the costume like you are too good for it! If it were a day I was allowed to wear a costume, I wouldn't be looking the gift horse in the mouth!
EM: I get a horse as a gift for Halloween?! COOL!
{Pause}
EM: Or wait ... it is someone in a horse costume?
BC: Do you want to celebrate your day or not?
EM: I'm sorry! You're right!
BC: There you go! All set!
EM: It's kind of dark in here. You know I hate the dark.
BC: I can always pinch you.
EM: This is so exciting!
BC: Be a paper bag!
EM: RIGHT!

{Pause}
BC: FINALLY! Peace and quiet! Happy Halloween to me! Happy Halloween to me!
{A few minutes pass and Bear falls asleep}
MK: {walking into the room} Why is it so quiet in ... {stopping when she sees a paper bag with a tail} ... never mind. I don't want to know!
EM: Don't be afraid, Momma! It's just me!
MK: I don't want to know.
EM: Bear! Get this off me!
The Boy: Where's Ellie? I hear her voice ...
MK: See the tail?
The Boy: What did you do to my baby girl this time?
BC: Thanks, Momma! That didn't last long!

All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern]. No part of my post may be used without my written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact cats@mommakatandherbearcat.com.

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