Miscellaneous moments

What fun has been going on in the Momma Kat household this past week? Ellie finds a solution to Bear kicking her out of the bed, we play name games, Momma uncovers Bear's latest scam, and Momma and Bear are caught cuddling.

BC: Bear Cat Kat
MK: Momma Kat
EM: Ellie Mae Kat
The Boy: Momma's fiance

~ THE PILLOW ~

MK: Ellie! You can lay in the bed with me and Bear!
EM: Umm ... {looking at Bear} I err ... don't want to.
MK: BEAR?!
BC: Don't look at me! I don't know! She's just weird! I sleep with my Momma so I can protect her.
EM: Bear told me I couldn't sleep on the bed. So I chose the next closest comfy spot - the extra pillow.
BC: But you can't protect her from over there!
EM: I like being near my Momma. That's why I keep jumping on the bed!
BC: Not as near as ME.
MK: Bear, you have to knock this nonsense off. Every time Ellie gets on the bed, you're mean to her until she jumps down.
EM: The pillow is okay ... really.

MK: NO! It's not okay! The commotion wakes me up at least once a night - if not three or four times.
BC: Phht. If Smellie knew her place and didn't try to SHARE you, this wouldn't happen.
EM: If you weren't a total jerk face it wouldn't happen either!
BC: I love my Momma.
EM: I love MY Momma!
MK: I love you both! That's why I want us all to get along. I have no idea what to do! I know the experts usually claim it's best to let cats negotiate on their own terms - but I'm tired of Ellie being picked on when she has just as much a right to be on the bed!
EM: With the protection money Jasmyn's paying you, you could buy your own bed.
MK: WHAT!?! The spider in my closet is paying you protection money?
BC: Well, after you raided her nest and killed her babies, I offered to see to it that it doesn't happen again.
MK: Where does a spider get money?
BC: Not my problem.
EM: You said it's not ACTUAL money!
BC: Sometimes a boy cat takes liberty with favors.

MK: GROSS!
EM: WHAT?!
MK: Err ... Bear ... err ... this is a little older than you can handle.
EM: I'm eight! How much older can a cat get?
BC: Hi. I'm thirteen.
EM: You don't count!
BC: I can make myself count!
MK: Bear, she didn't mean it.
EM: YES! I did!
MK: Bear, what favors or liberties are you referring to?
EM: {to Bear} You said you're paid in spider legs.
BC: I'm never telling you a secret ever again, Ms. Blab McBlabby! It sounded way cooler when I said "liberty with favors."
EM: It's not a protected secret until we braid each others' fur while sharing our secrets!
BC: I don't play by the sissy code.
EM: It's not code! I mean ACTUALLY braiding each others' ...
BC: SEE?!?! You want this nitwit in your bed?
MK: What's Jasmyn going to do when she runs out of legs?
BC: Be lunch.
EM: That's horrible! No wonder you don't have friends! You pull out their legs and eat them!

BC: HEY! Don't knock it until you try it. Friends don't let spider friends live without legs. I'm just being nice.
EM: Remind me to NOT ask you to be nice to me again!
MK: Wait a ... you're not doing anything to protect her or her babies.
BC: I'm counting on her not figuring that out until she's legless.
EM: You're a horrible friend!
BC: Want to be friends?
EM: OH! YES! YES! I do want to be your ...
BC: Never mind.
MK: Only in this house do we start with sharing the bed and end talking about protection money for spiders.

~ THE NAME GAME ~

MK: Smellie Yellie Bellie!
The Boy: Call her by her regular name.
MK: 'Her regular name!' You're in my way!
The Boy: Ha. Ha. Ha. That's not her name.
BC: Smellie smellie smellie smellie!
EM: I don't mind. At least if you change my name to 'her regular name' Bear can't call me Smellie.

BC: Smellie smellie smellie smellie!
MK: BEAR!
EM: I like 'her regular name.'
BC: Wait ... I'll come up with a way to make fun of that. Err ... hernia? Harem?
The Boy: Call her Ellie!
EM: But I don't want that name anymore! Between Momma and Bear, there are too many things that rhyme with Ellie.
BC: Smellie.
MK: Bellie.
BC: Yellie.
MK: The Ellie-vader or Elevator.
BC: The Ellie-phant or Elephant.
The Boy: You aren't helping! Her name is Ellie Mae!
BC: Ellie may what? Fall off a roof? Get lost?
The Boy: KAT!
BC: Ellie may Kat? She's the sorriest excuse for a cat I've ever met.
EM: Oh, yeah? So I should be a jerk like you? You're an em-BEAR-@$$-ment!

The Boy: Hahaha. Embarrassment. With "Bear" and "@$$!" That's a good one!
BC: Shut up, TUBA!

MK: Hahahaha. The Boy. Initials ... TB. Tuba!
The Boy: Compli-KAT-ed!
EM: Un-BEAR-able!
BC: DIMWIT!
EM: JERK!
BC: Her regular pain in my @$$!
EM: I'm not talking to Bear OR Momma ever again!
BC: GOOD! Then I'll have Momma to myself!
EM: But whose lap will I sit on?
The Boy: I'm here!
EM: Err ... is there anyone else?
MK: That got out of control relatively quickly.

~ BEAR'S LATEST SCAM ~

BC: OH! Outside! Outside! Outside!
{Bear runs outside}
BC: Hmmm ... now what do I do? Never mind.
{Pause}
BC: {sitting in front of the door like a good boy} Momma!
MK: Here, Bear. You can come inside.
BC: Do I get treats?
EM: Treats?!?

MK: For what?
BC: For coming back inside on my own!
MK: Is that a scam you're running? You go outside just to turn around and come back in on your own so I'll give you treats?
BC: There's a precedent.
EM: OH! The president? WHERE?!?
BC: Outside!
EM: OH! Momma! Can you let me out so I can see the president?
MK: Ellie, Bear said PRECEDENT not president.
EM: Human words. So confusing.
BC: {AHEM} Treats?
MK: Bear, you're ridiculous! The only reason I started giving you treats after you came in on your own is to reward that behavior so I didn't have to chase you in circles on the front porch or drag you out from the rose bush to get you inside. Going outside just to be able to come back in on your own for treats ... NO!
BC: So I can't have treats?
MK: I swear. It's one scam after another with you.
BC: Just to clarify ... that's a ...
MK: NO TREATS!
BC: Awww. Look! I'm cute!

MK: Give me the strength to resist ...
EM: LOOK! I'm cute too, Momma!

MK: {getting out the treats} This was a lot more fair when it was one-on-one instead of two on one.
BC: You still lost when it was one-on-one.
MK: That's true.

~ THE CUDDLE ~

BC: I love you, Momma.

MK: I love you too, Bear. I love when you let me wrap you in my arms and cuddle. I haven't gotten a decent picture of it because I never know when it will happen.

BC: {seeing The Boy walking into the bedroom} WHAT DO YOU WANT?

The Boy: I live here!

BC: That's no excuse! Don't rub it in!

The Boy: But ...

BC: Can't you see that Momma and I are having a moment?

The Boy: You two are awfully cute. I'm going to get a picture!

BC: Haven't you ever seen a boy cuddling his Momma?

The Boy: Every day! But this is extra special!

BC: Could bite ... shark ... but so tired ... so comfy with my Momma ... my Momma and me.

{Pause}

BC: Sleeeeeeeeeeeep.

All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern]. No part of my post may be used without my written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact mommakatandherbearcat@gmail.com.

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