B-Cube and his posse

Bear's let our awards from the Cat Writer's Association Conference (see "Organized chaos or something like that,") go to his head. Bear's always loved to put on a show - but this one is like no other. The cat rapper (also known as a crapper) B-Cube makes an unforgettable appearance and Ellie can't help but get caught up in the excitement.

BC: Bear Cat Kat
MK: Momma Kat
EM: Ellie Mae Kat
The Boy: Momma's fiance

EM: Ummm ... Momma?
MK: Not now, Ellie. Can't I have some privacy?
EM: But I think you really should see this ...

MK: What?
EM: Err ...
MK: What did Bear do this time?
EM: Ummm ... I don't know that it's Bear so much as B-Cube. I suggest you come sooner than later.
MK: It's always something with ...
{Pause}
MK: *!&$! I didn't see that sign before ...
EM: {rolling her eyes} So you're getting an idea as to the problem.

MK: Your brother isn't so much a problem as a catastrophe.
EM: But isn't it B-Cube?
MK: Who do you think B-Cube is?
EM: Is that a trick question?
MK: B-Cube ... Use Your Confusion ... worldwide tour debut ...

{Pause}
MK: Is that supposed to be some kind of play on "Use Your Illusion?"
EM: I don't know.
MK: And B-Cube? Aka The Quack Daddy?!? Like the Mac Daddy? You've got to be kidding me.
EM: Actually, that part is kind of cool.
MK: Oh?
EM: Err ... did I say that out loud?
MK: How did he ... I took away all his paper and markers!
EM: I think he used the computer for these.
MK: WHAT?!?
EM: I told him it wasn't a good idea ...
MK: How did he get my password?
EM: Err ... promise you won't get mad?
MK: WHAT?!?!
EM: Umm ... he told me he would order me tuna and sparkle balls.
MK: ELLIE MAE KAT!
EM: You promised you wouldn't get mad!
MK: I told him not to touch my computer! What?!? Now I can't even leave him alone long enough to get a shower?
BC: {from the other room} Testing ... testing ... 1 2 3 ...
MK: {running down the hall} (@*! ^!**#!
BC: MOMMA! You're not wearing pants!
MK: Where did all these lights come from?

BC: MOMMA! This is a CONCERT, not a gentleman's club ...
MK: {switching off the lights} A concert it is NOT.
BC: HEY! Don't touch my equipment!
MK: Get rid of all this stuff!
BC: THE SHOW MUST GO ON!

MK: We'll see about ...
BC: HEY! Music fans! Tonight we're kicking it with the concert of the century! Are you ready?
{Silence}
BC: I didn't hear you!!! ARE. YOU. READY?
EM: YES!

{Momma glares at Ellie}
EM: Sorry I got a little caught up ... I mean, you have to admit he has a commanding stage presence ... And there's just something ... I never saw it before ... but he's kind of cute!
MK: So help me ...
BC: SECURITY! SECURITY! This Momma is improperly attired and is causing a disturbance! Kick her out!
EM: YEAH!

MK: ELLIE MAE KAT!
EM: What?!?
MK: Must I remind you both that you can't kick me out of my own house?
BC: Where's security?
EM: Oh, no!
MK: ELLIE!
BC: That black pain in the butt over there!
EM: There's another black cat here?
BC: NO! You! The black cat the size of an airplane hanger!
EM: ME?!?!
BC: YES!
EM: OH! This is the best day of my life! I finally fit in and Bear loves me!

BC: No. B-Cube loves you.
EM: But Bear Cat IS B-Cube.
BC: Do I need to interrupt the concert to take care of the problem myself ... or will you just get rid of the disturbance?
EM: Yes, Quack Daddy!
MK: Oh, for the love of ... I quit!
EM: YEAH! Stop interrupting the performance!
BC: It's time to get this show going!
EM: YAY! I've never seen a concert in person ... err ... catson before!
BC: {cat rapping} These are my awards, yo!
Writing honed like a pro;
Humor and tales of woe,
Vital issues too though.
{Pause}
BC: Crapping, making my dough.
Daftness ever my foe.
Won't accept Momma's no.
I do what I want, yo!
{Pause}
BC: I love Momma too though.
When Momma's feeling low,
When she laughs HO HO HO,
To her side I always go.

BC: Hello? HELLO? Can you hear me?
EM: YES!
BC: Then why aren't you clapping?
EM: What about your sister?
BC: That bus-sized brick doesn't deserve an ovation!
EM: After everything I did for you?
BC: What'd you think about my beats?
EM: That's crap all right.
BC: Thank you!
EM: Err ... like actual crap ... you know, the stuff in the litter box.
BC: I'm not going to take that standing up! MOMMA!!! MOMMA?!?! My Momma's going to open a can of whoop-@$$ on you.
EM: She's my Momma too!
BC: Lies! All lies! We aren't related! You just want a cut of the receipts!
EM: Receipts? I didn't pay anything and I'm the only cat here!
BC: You didn't pay ... yet ...
EM: Uh oh.
{Silence}
BC: Where did Momma go? How rude!
EM: You did kick her out ...
The Boy: {quickly surveying the situation after walking in the front door - before he turns around and shuts the door behind him} Nope.

All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern]. No part of my post may be used without my written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact mommakatandherbearcat@gmail.com.

Featured posts: