BC: Bear Cat Kat
EM: Ellie Mae Kat
MK: Momma Kat
The Boy: Momma's fiance
BC: DO SOMETHING!
EM: What? Usually you tell me NOT to do anything!
BC: Do something about Momma's sense of humor ... err ... or lack thereof.
EM: Why do I have to do it?
BC: Because you're the under-the-couch ninja! And if Momma's sense of humor is really under the couch, you are our best chance for deliverance from Momma McGrumpy-Pants!
EM: Umm ... thank you. I think.
BC: Ugh. I even made Momma a sign for her lost of sense of humor but she got mad at me! The Boy thought it was funny though - I think that just made Momma madder!
EM: That was really sweet!
BC: And I tried cuddling with Momma and she was all restless and unsettled. Being a Momma's boy means if anyone can help, it's me.
EM: Oh. It must be bad!
BC: And last night, she sang ... I can't even ... my new medication ... she thinks it's funny ...
EM: Three Times a Fishy? I LOVED it! Your new medicine says it's triple fish flavored! It's ONCE! TWICE! THREE TIMES A FISHY ...
BC: That's my love song to torties!
EM: But it works ... you know, for triple fish.
BC: {mumbling} It tastes as nasty as it sounds ... and Momma and Daddy were ... LAUGHING!
EM: Daddy?
BC: Err ... I ... I ... HATE YOU!
{Pause as Ellie walks over to where Momma's working}
EM: Momma?
MK: Yes, Ellie?
EM: Your sense of humor? Now, where did you look for your sense of humor?
MK: Ellie, it can't be found! Don't worry about it.
EM: But I love you! I want you to laugh and be happy!
The Boy: Just not at my expense.
BC: As if I don't already feel like barfing because of pancreatitis.
EM: Shut up, Bear! You told me to help Momma.
MK: He did? That's so sw ...
BC: NOPE! I have street cred to think about! If you want a hug, we've got to do it in the bathroom where there aren't any windows and no chance of being seen.
EM: HEY! I'M the one that offered to help! Why does Bear get all the attention?
BC: If you have to ask ...
EM: I really don't like you sometimes.
{Pause}
EM: AHEM. Back to the issue at hand ...
{Pause}
EM: Err ... paw. And where did you see your sense of humor last?
BC: In the gutter! NO!
{Pause as Bear giggles}
BC: Up your ...
BC: In the gutter! NO!
{Pause as Bear giggles}
BC: Up your ...
MK: BEAR!
BC: I'll tell you later.
MK: No, you won't!
EM: Your sense of humor must be under the couch! Everything ends up under there.
BC: Then why aren't YOU under there?
EM: I DON'T FIT!
BC: Duh. You're the size of a ...
MK: BEAR!
BC: Sheesh! Someone's grumpy today! Momma McGrumpy-Pants!
EM: She's grumpy because she lost her sense of humor!
BC: Gone are the days when I migrate Momma's pen collection to under the couch. Or her toothbrush. Or her watch. Her bra wouldn't fit. Believe me ... I tried.
MK: BEAR!
BC: Sheesh! Someone's grumpy today! Momma McGrumpy-Pants!
EM: She's grumpy because she lost her sense of humor!
BC: Gone are the days when I migrate Momma's pen collection to under the couch. Or her toothbrush. Or her watch. Her bra wouldn't fit. Believe me ... I tried.
EM: {digging around under the couch} I think I see your sense of humor! Just got to get my paw under here a little more ...
{Pause}
EM: MY FAVORITE SPARKLE BALL!
BC: Smellie's got the attention span of a boy!
EM: OH! I got it! I got it! Wait. Nope. Just some lint.
BC: HELP! This is going to be a long day!
{Half a day passes and Momma and The Boy are sitting together on the couch}
EM: I hear you're giving rides.
{The Boy spits out his drink}
MK: WHAT?!
EM: Bear said ...
MK: BEAR!
BC: {from the other room} You've reached Bear Cat Kat. I didn't do it. But just try and I'll give you a message.
MK: {walking into the room where Bear is} What did you tell your sister?
BC: Like this week or for all time?
MK: Why does your sister think I'm giving rides?
BC: Returning to the scene of the crime ...
MK: EXCUSE ME?
BC: I'm sure it was as wonderful for The Boy as it was for you. EWW! To think I'm laying on the SAME BED you ...
MK: BEAR!
{Pause}
BC: WHAT?! Why are you looking at me like that!? You only look at me like that when ...
MK: LALALALALALALALA!
The Boy: {walking into the room} THE DOOR WAS CLOSED!
BC: That's pretty kinky ... tasty whole chickens and ...
EM: {walking into the room} What's kinky about tasty whole chickens?
MK: Why do you always assume a closed door means tasty whole chickens?
BC: Because why else would you close me out? I mean ... I'm me!
EM: What's kinky about tasty whole chickens?
MK: Don't listen to your brother. He's a bad influence.
BC: That's the nicest thing you've said to me since, "The Big Dodo isn't moving with us!"
EM: YEAH! Bear, you're a bad influence!
BC: Zip it or that will be the least of your problems!
EM: TELL ME! Were they making chicken nuggets or something? Or killing the nuggets?
BC: Phht. A lot more fun.
EM: How's that fun? I was closed out of the room!
BC: For them.
EM: Who? The chickens?
BC: Forget the chickens!
EM: Momma's told you to forget tasty whole chickens, but you don't listen!
BC: ERR! Don't forget the chickens as food ... forget the chickens behind the closed door.
EM: I thought you didn't want to forget the chickens behind the door.
BC: I DON'T! I'm telling YOU to forget the chickens behind the door.
EM: HEY! If you get tasty whole chickens from behind the door ... so do I!
{Pause}
EM: What's a chicken nugget anyway? Is that like a baby chicken? As in, which came first, the nugget or the egg?
BC: Don't quit your day job.
EM: I don't have a day job!
BC: Exactly.
EM: That reminds me ... are the chickens laying their eggs on the other side of the door?
BC: Phht. They're CHICKENS. They get laid. Much like Momma and The Boy.
{The Boy spits out his drink}
MK: HUH?
BC: And Momma sleeps through it! You humans lay down in the bed and sleep for HOURS! That's getting LAID!
MK: Err ...
EM: MOMMA! You should come into my office! FINALLY! I have everything out from under the couch. I've been working for twenty-four ...
MK: HOURS?
EM: Err ... no. Err ... seconds.
BC: That's about how long it takes The Boy ...
MK: BEAR CAT KAT!
BC: Sometimes I wish YOU were under the couch, Smellie.
EM: I don't fit!
BC: Because you've tried?
EM: Obviously.
BC: TOO. DUMB.
EM: Well, you're THREE DUMB!
BC: What?
EM: Phew! That was hard work to dig everything out from under the couch!
{Pause}
EM: Wait a minute! Maybe I'll look under the phone stand.
{Pause}
EM: AHA!
MK: I lost my thingee under there!
EM: Err ... it's not your thingee unless your thingee is my favorite purple ball!
MK: Find anything else under the couch?
EM: Promise you won't be mad?
MK: Sure.
EM: I ate a chip I found that Daddy dropped. I also found a leaf. But I ate that too. Leafs aren't nearly as nummy as chips.
{Pause}
EM: Now what does you sense of humor look like again? I don't see it!
{Pause}
EM: Look at all these sparkle balls! I am immune to their charm. I'm helping my Momma!
{Pause}
EM: Then again, maybe I could take a short break while they're all out here like this.
BC: Did you find any pieces of Cheez-its? Or brownies? Because I really like Cheez-its and brownies. Though not together.
EM: Ummm ... no.
BC: YOU ATE THEM, DIDN'T YOU?!
EM: Well see, Momma told me your belly wasn't feeling so great so I ate them so you wouldn't get sick by eating them.
BC: How kind. You'll be a real cat yet.
EM: You'll be a real brother yet. Or a real boy.
BC: Ha. Ha. Ha.
EM: Are you laughing at what I said?
BC: NO! I'm laughing at your face!
EM: Whatever. Ummm ... what's that smell?
BC: Me being a real boy!
EM: Gross.
{Pause}
EM: Anyway. This is quite a stash! None of your stashes are this fabulous, Bear! Momma's sense of humor must be here somewhere!
BC: Phht. If Momma had a sense of humor to steal, it would be in one of my stashes already. You do realize Momma's sense of humor doesn't actually exist, right?
EM: She makes me laugh all the time!
BC: You're ticklish!
EM: WHAT?!
{Pause}
EM: Is this another one of your lies? Jump in the toilet because you're a dolphin, you said. You escaped from the circus freak show, you said. Watch out for the alien buffalo, you said. You've never said one truthful thing to me!
BC: You're looking very pretty today!
EM: REALLY?
BC: Absolutely.
EM: Aww. Thanks!
BC: {mumbling} Very pretty ... For a ...
{Pause}
BC: OH! Earlier, I called The Boy Daddy because he's YOUR Daddy. He's not MY Daddy - but he's a Daddy since he's your Daddy.
EM: That's a little ... delayed.
BC: Better late than never!
EM: Now ... about me looking very pretty today ...
MK: {from the other room} It's once ... twice ... three times a fishy!
BC: Uh oh. Don't tell her where I am.
MK: 🎶 BEAR! 🎶
EM: Bear?! BEAR?!?
MK: Where is he?
EM: Err ... I don't know! He was here just a minute ago. He said I'm looking very pretty today.
MK: And how many times has he told you the truth?
EM: He's under the bed.
BC: RATS!
{The Boy spits out his drink}
MK: WHAT?!
EM: Bear said ...
MK: BEAR!
BC: {from the other room} You've reached Bear Cat Kat. I didn't do it. But just try and I'll give you a message.
MK: {walking into the room where Bear is} What did you tell your sister?
BC: Like this week or for all time?
MK: Why does your sister think I'm giving rides?
BC: Returning to the scene of the crime ...
MK: EXCUSE ME?
BC: I'm sure it was as wonderful for The Boy as it was for you. EWW! To think I'm laying on the SAME BED you ...
MK: BEAR!
{Pause}
BC: WHAT?! Why are you looking at me like that!? You only look at me like that when ...
MK: BEAR CAT KAT!
BC: RATS! My full name. I'm screwed. Much like ...
MK: BEAR!
BC: Good thing my name is so awesome that it can't be worn out!
MK: BEAR!
BC: Good thing my name is so awesome that it can't be worn out!
{Pause}
BC: What'd I do this time?
{Pause}
BC: No. Wait. What didn't I do that you're blaming me for?
{Pause}
BC: Hmmm ... What am I being blamed for?
MK: This is the last time I'm going to ask ... Why does Ellie think I'm giving rides?
BC: HA! I won't answer you and you promised you wouldn't ask again!
MK: BEAR!
BC: WHAT?!? The Boy said ...MK: This is the last time I'm going to ask ... Why does Ellie think I'm giving rides?
BC: HA! I won't answer you and you promised you wouldn't ask again!
MK: BEAR!
MK: LALALALALALALALA!
The Boy: {walking into the room} THE DOOR WAS CLOSED!
BC: That's pretty kinky ... tasty whole chickens and ...
EM: {walking into the room} What's kinky about tasty whole chickens?
MK: Why do you always assume a closed door means tasty whole chickens?
BC: Because why else would you close me out? I mean ... I'm me!
EM: What's kinky about tasty whole chickens?
MK: Don't listen to your brother. He's a bad influence.
BC: That's the nicest thing you've said to me since, "The Big Dodo isn't moving with us!"
EM: YEAH! Bear, you're a bad influence!
BC: Zip it or that will be the least of your problems!
EM: TELL ME! Were they making chicken nuggets or something? Or killing the nuggets?
BC: Phht. A lot more fun.
EM: How's that fun? I was closed out of the room!
BC: For them.
EM: Who? The chickens?
BC: Forget the chickens!
EM: Momma's told you to forget tasty whole chickens, but you don't listen!
BC: ERR! Don't forget the chickens as food ... forget the chickens behind the closed door.
EM: I thought you didn't want to forget the chickens behind the door.
BC: I DON'T! I'm telling YOU to forget the chickens behind the door.
EM: HEY! If you get tasty whole chickens from behind the door ... so do I!
{Pause}
EM: What's a chicken nugget anyway? Is that like a baby chicken? As in, which came first, the nugget or the egg?
BC: Don't quit your day job.
EM: I don't have a day job!
BC: Exactly.
EM: That reminds me ... are the chickens laying their eggs on the other side of the door?
BC: Phht. They're CHICKENS. They get laid. Much like Momma and The Boy.
{The Boy spits out his drink}
MK: HUH?
BC: And Momma sleeps through it! You humans lay down in the bed and sleep for HOURS! That's getting LAID!
MK: Err ...
EM: MOMMA! You should come into my office! FINALLY! I have everything out from under the couch. I've been working for twenty-four ...
MK: HOURS?
EM: Err ... no. Err ... seconds.
BC: That's about how long it takes The Boy ...
MK: BEAR CAT KAT!
BC: Sometimes I wish YOU were under the couch, Smellie.
EM: I don't fit!
BC: Because you've tried?
EM: Obviously.
BC: TOO. DUMB.
EM: Well, you're THREE DUMB!
BC: What?
EM: Phew! That was hard work to dig everything out from under the couch!
{Pause}
EM: Wait a minute! Maybe I'll look under the phone stand.
{Pause}
EM: AHA!
MK: I lost my thingee under there!
EM: Err ... it's not your thingee unless your thingee is my favorite purple ball!
MK: Find anything else under the couch?
EM: Promise you won't be mad?
MK: Sure.
EM: I ate a chip I found that Daddy dropped. I also found a leaf. But I ate that too. Leafs aren't nearly as nummy as chips.
{Pause}
EM: Now what does you sense of humor look like again? I don't see it!
{Pause}
EM: Look at all these sparkle balls! I am immune to their charm. I'm helping my Momma!
{Pause}
EM: Then again, maybe I could take a short break while they're all out here like this.
BC: Did you find any pieces of Cheez-its? Or brownies? Because I really like Cheez-its and brownies. Though not together.
EM: Ummm ... no.
BC: YOU ATE THEM, DIDN'T YOU?!
EM: Well see, Momma told me your belly wasn't feeling so great so I ate them so you wouldn't get sick by eating them.
BC: How kind. You'll be a real cat yet.
EM: You'll be a real brother yet. Or a real boy.
BC: Ha. Ha. Ha.
EM: Are you laughing at what I said?
BC: NO! I'm laughing at your face!
EM: Whatever. Ummm ... what's that smell?
BC: Me being a real boy!
EM: Gross.
{Pause}
EM: Anyway. This is quite a stash! None of your stashes are this fabulous, Bear! Momma's sense of humor must be here somewhere!
BC: Phht. If Momma had a sense of humor to steal, it would be in one of my stashes already. You do realize Momma's sense of humor doesn't actually exist, right?
EM: She makes me laugh all the time!
BC: You're ticklish!
EM: WHAT?!
{Pause}
EM: Is this another one of your lies? Jump in the toilet because you're a dolphin, you said. You escaped from the circus freak show, you said. Watch out for the alien buffalo, you said. You've never said one truthful thing to me!
BC: You're looking very pretty today!
EM: REALLY?
BC: Absolutely.
EM: Aww. Thanks!
BC: {mumbling} Very pretty ... For a ...
{Pause}
BC: OH! Earlier, I called The Boy Daddy because he's YOUR Daddy. He's not MY Daddy - but he's a Daddy since he's your Daddy.
EM: That's a little ... delayed.
BC: Better late than never!
EM: Now ... about me looking very pretty today ...
MK: {from the other room} It's once ... twice ... three times a fishy!
BC: Uh oh. Don't tell her where I am.
MK: 🎶 BEAR! 🎶
EM: Bear?! BEAR?!?
MK: Where is he?
EM: Err ... I don't know! He was here just a minute ago. He said I'm looking very pretty today.
MK: And how many times has he told you the truth?
EM: He's under the bed.
BC: RATS!
© 2019 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Published by K. Kern.
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern]. No part of my post may be used without my written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact mommakatandherbearcat@gmail.com.
Featured posts:
- Bear's told Ellie quite a few ... fibs. For the most recent, check out:
- What's going on around here?
- The Christmas calamity, part 2.
- Not my circus, but yes, they are my monkeys.
- Bear talks about the old days.
- Bite club.
- The big bad wolf, alien buffalos, and lots more nonsense.
- If you missed the discussion of Momma's sense of humor, and Bear's pancreatitis for which he's taking Triple Fish flavored medication:
- Ellie searches for Momma's sense of humor.
- Momma searches for her sense of humor.
- Momma searches for her sense of humor, part 2.
- Bear's cat rapping show hits the road.
- Bear's cat rapping show hits the road, part 2.
- If you missed Bear's declaration of love to torties:
I can see another chapter to this story coming very soon :) I wonder then if the cast will all wake up and it will be a bad dream–like they showed on Dallas. Maybe when they do, Bear will be the Boy and Ellie will be Momma Kat. Of course that means the Boy will be Bear and Momma Kat would be Ellie? Or did I just have too much cheese before I went to bed?
ReplyDeletePurrs for another fun episode :)
ERin
That must've been some gnarly cheese!
DeleteNice try Ellie, to find Mom's sense of humor. It appears that it is back. Great post with lots of funnies.Thanks for the birthday wishes. Have a great day.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteWe knew that sense of humor was around there somewhere! Happy Birthday to the super special Super Marg!
ReplyDeleteI even looked in the toilet! That's dedication! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteYou did make me laugh today so the sense of humor must be leaking back in. :)
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that!
DeleteI am glad you found your mum's sense of humour and gave it back to her.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday to Marg.
I even looked in the toilet! That's dedication! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteGood job everyone, y'all are professional detectives finding that lost sense of humor so quickly!
ReplyDeleteWe mean business!
DeleteAnd Ellie searched so very hard too! Marg is a great lady!
ReplyDeleteI even looked in the toilet! That's dedication! ~Ellie Mae
Deleteguyz....therz a lot oh de "B" werd in thiz post....ya noe ~~ ;)♥♥
ReplyDeleteWe can't seem to get away from the B word!
DeleteSo nice of Ellie to look for momma's sense of humor. I'm glad it's back, too!
ReplyDeleteI even looked in the toilet! That's dedication! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteYay ! We're glad you found that lost sense of humor finally ! Happy Birthday to Marg ! She's an amazing lady ! Purrs
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteEllie Mae what a darling helper you are and pretty as a girlcat can be. That face of yours looking up just makes my mom want to swoop down and smooch you..IF you would say OK. Now, Bear-- I don't think he would likely let Mom smooch him but...I could ask on her behalf. I am quite the charmer after all and I have a great bikini I will wear when I ask. After all, he's all mancat.
ReplyDeleteBlack cats - in whole or in part black - rock!
DeleteWe're not sure who really found it in the end, but we're sure glad Momma's sense of humor is back!
ReplyDeleteUs too! Err ... or most of us anyway!
DeleteYep your mom is for sure not to be trifled with...actually that might apply to all moms. You know they have eyes in the back of their head and their head can rotate 360 degrees
ReplyDeleteBear I hope your new med is working
Hugs Cecilia
Good so far ...
DeleteI'm glad your Momma's sense of humor is back. I mean I can hear Bear groan all the way over here at my house when Momma sings "Three Times a Fishy" . Seriously, Bear, I hope you feel better soon so that you don't have to hear that song too many more times.
ReplyDeleteAmen to that! ~Bear Cat
DeleteSparkle balls are a close second to finding one's sense of humor. 😍
ReplyDeleteOne might say they are related ;)
DeleteWe'd say Ellie's hard work paid off! Momma Kat's sense of humor is back, and making us laugh! :)
ReplyDeleteWe're always glad to hear that! Thank you!
DeleteThe Human- Hi from Israel! just as funny reading this while on my travels-glad you found your sense of humor!
ReplyDeleteWe're so glad you had a good trip!
DeleteGood job finding your momma's sense of humor. I want to know why your meds are fishy flavored instead of like tasty whole chickens?
ReplyDeleteThat's a very good question. I should get my Momma to call the vet and complain ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteGlad you found your momma's sense of humour. You made us laugh!
ReplyDeletePurrs xx
Athena and Marie
We love to hear that! ESPECIALLY when we're really struggling.
DeleteNow that's quite a stash you have there Ellie. Mommy says we had quite a stash unner the oven. Unfurtunately, we didn't get to see 'em cuz we were already at the hotel. Mommy better have grabbed our stash and packed it. Good luck with your search. Mommy lost her sense of humor befur, quite a few times fur that matter. We're not sure ifin we ever found it or ifin she just had to get a new one. Big hugs
ReplyDeleteLuv ya'
Dezi and Raena
I don't know what I'd do without my sparkle balls! ~Ellie Mae
Delete