EM: Ellie Mae
MK: Momma Kat
The Boy: Momma's fiance
EM: Stupid couch ate my sparkle ball! It's not that easy to get rid of ... {in a deeper voice} ELLIE-VADER!
BC: {in the other room} Like there's anything scary about an elevator. I hope Momma gets home soon. There are only so many days I can take a bunch of Dweebles and their inane dweeble-ness.
{Pause}
BC: {in the other room} Or is that dweebility? Hahahahahaha. Whatever one calls it ...
EM: AHA! I've got you now ... oh, NUTS!
BC: {in the other room} How nice it would be to not have to listen to Smellie's hunting saga every day ... I feel stupider than I was when Momma left ... at least when Momma's home, Smellie spends part of the day snuggling with ...
{Pause}
BC: PERFECT! It shouldn't be THAT hard. I tune Momma out all the time!
EM: I CAN'T GET MY SPARKLE BALL!!! THIS IS A DISASTER! Am I going to be sparkle-ball-less for the rest of my life?! I can't stand it! I can't live without my ... MOUSIE! Are you ready to crumble?
BC: {from the other room} I don't have the wherewithal to explain everything to her. Some cats are just born stupid ... and are hopeless to ever not be stupid. RUMBLE, stupid! RUMBLE! And you don't sound tough at all!
EM: Whatever. I'm schooling this mousie!
BC: {from the other room} Like you schooled your sparkle ball?
EM: Unfortunate accident. Danger comes with the job.
BC: The only danger around here is your stupidity.
EM: Silly mousie. You can't get away from the Ellie-Vader. I'm coming after you, you brazen hussy-mousie!
{Pause}
EM: I'm not your father, mousie ... but I can still spank you.
BC: {from the other room} I hate when she gets like this. There's no living with her. Hmmm ... come to think of it, there's no living with her at any other time either!
EM: BOO-YAY! I got you now, mousie!
BC: {from the other room} I give up. Besides, I actually like BOO-YAY better. BOO-YAY Momma!
{The front door opens}
BC: WHOA!
EM: YAY! Momma's ho ...
{Pause as Ellie sees what Momma sets down}
EM: HUH? What's THAT?
EM: HUH? What's THAT?
BC: {from the other room} What's what?
EM: ANOTHER CAT!
MK: BEAR?!?! Where are you? Don't you want to come and say hello to your Momma?
BC: {in the other room} PHHT. OBVIOUSLY NOT. Let her sweat a little ... let her think I left HER! HMPH! Suits her right. Another cat. As if Smellie doesn't count as three.
MK: {walking into the room Bear's in} Bear? BEAR?!?
{Momma gasps}
MK: You unstuffed the comforter again!
BC: Maybe she's not really here and if I close my eyes she'll go away ...
{Pause}
{Pause}
MK: BEAR! I know you're not asleep and are just ignoring me!
BC: RATS! Where are the abducting aliens when one needs them.
{Pause}
BC: You're home early ... err ... I didn't do it. I was just laying here and FLOOF!, the fluff burst out of the comforter! I almost died!
EM: Really?! Because I could've sworn your paw was in the hole.
BC: Err ... I was staunching the flow of fluff?
EM: No, you weren't! I ...
BC: You're REALLY NOT helping!
MK: BEAR! You are in so much trouble!
BC: You left me here ... with THEM! You owe ME an apology! And quite possibly hazard pay. Oh! And a tasty whole chicken and a bazooka!
MK: This isn't Christmas, Bear.
BC: YOU'RE GOING TO GET ME A TASTY WHOLE CHICKEN AND A BAZOOKA FOR CHRISTMAS?!?
MK: That got out of hand quickly.
BC: YOU BROUGHT HOME ANOTHER CAT!
MK: You destroyed my comforter!
BC: It's not DESTROYED when you can just stuff all the fluff back in the comforter.
MK: Why don't you come and see what I brought home?
BC: Unless it's a bazooka, a tasty whole chicken, or a tank ... NO THANKS.
EM: Bear, you better come look at this!
BC: {walking down the hall} I have to do everything around ... {GASP} ...
{Pause}
BC: What the ... YOU DIDN'T TELL ME IT'S A REAL CAT!
{Pause}
BC: Put 'em up! Put 'em up so I can mop the floor with you.
{Silence}
BC: Don't you arch your back at me! And wipe that stupid smile off your face! I'll teach you proper respect.
{Pause}
BC: Put 'em up! Put 'em up so I can mop the floor with you.
{Silence}
BC: Don't you arch your back at me! And wipe that stupid smile off your face! I'll teach you proper respect.
EM: They say that those who can't do, teach.
BC: I'll teach you a thing or two.
EM: Like you know about respect.
BC: I know what it's not!
EM: This cat. If you really thought it was real you wouldn't be antagonizing it, you'd be under the bed like when I came to live here.
BC: I DID NOT hide under the bed.
EM: Sir Hisses-a-lot.
{Pause}
BC: {back to focusing on the invader} What?! Cat got your tongue? Hahahahaha. Get it? You're a cat ... you're not saying anything ...
{Pause}
BC: She doesn't talk much. THE. PERFECT. SIBLING. Or maybe she's even dumber than Smellie ... wanna fight?
{Momma's drops her bag and startles Bear}
BC: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!
EM: Mr. Tough Pants strikes again!
BC: It's going to kill me! It's going to kill me!
EM: We wouldn't be so lucky.
BC: Oh, shut up!
EM: WHAT IS THAT?! It looks like a cat but doesn't smell like one.
BC: Smellie ... always with her nose in other cats' business.
EM: I didn't ask you!
BC: Oddly enough ... more of a cat than my sister. This one's got a backbone and is pretty hard-headed.
EM: Ha ... ha ... ha. Very funny.
BC: Another black cat.
EM: I'm being replaced?
BC: If that's the case ... thank the kitty gods because this one is quiet and not annoying.
MK: It's not alive.
BC: You prove my point.
EM: But ... but ...
BC: Now you know what happened to Momma's LAST black cat. Hahahahaha.
EM: You're kidding, right? I mean, she wouldn't ... she couldn't ...
BC: The cat got your tongue too! I like this!
EM: But ... but ... I'm so much prettier than this cat! And my tail is so much more luxurious! Nope. I'm not scared of this impostor one bit. It better stay away from my sparkle balls!
{Pause}
BC: {back to focusing on the invader} What?! Cat got your tongue? Hahahahaha. Get it? You're a cat ... you're not saying anything ...
{Pause}
BC: She doesn't talk much. THE. PERFECT. SIBLING. Or maybe she's even dumber than Smellie ... wanna fight?
{Momma's drops her bag and startles Bear}
BC: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!
EM: Mr. Tough Pants strikes again!
BC: It's going to kill me! It's going to kill me!
EM: We wouldn't be so lucky.
BC: Oh, shut up!
EM: WHAT IS THAT?! It looks like a cat but doesn't smell like one.
BC: Smellie ... always with her nose in other cats' business.
EM: I didn't ask you!
BC: Oddly enough ... more of a cat than my sister. This one's got a backbone and is pretty hard-headed.
EM: Ha ... ha ... ha. Very funny.
BC: Another black cat.
EM: I'm being replaced?
BC: If that's the case ... thank the kitty gods because this one is quiet and not annoying.
MK: It's not alive.
BC: You prove my point.
EM: But ... but ...
BC: Now you know what happened to Momma's LAST black cat. Hahahahaha.
EM: You're kidding, right? I mean, she wouldn't ... she couldn't ...
BC: The cat got your tongue too! I like this!
EM: But ... but ... I'm so much prettier than this cat! And my tail is so much more luxurious! Nope. I'm not scared of this impostor one bit. It better stay away from my sparkle balls!
BC: You two can start a black cat club and do black cat things.
EM: Black cat things?
BC: And braid each other's fur and sing songs ...
EM: And play with sparkle balls? Because I'm NOT sharing my sparkle balls.
BC: Maybe.
EM: A best friend?!? I've always wanted a best friend. Best friends are the best things ever! We could stay up all night ...
The Boy: You already stay up all night!
EM: Did I ask you? NO! I'm planning my sleep-overs with Rhonda.
The Boy: WHO?
BC: You're going to regret asking.
EM: My new best friend! She's not very cuddly but I don't hold that against her.
{Pause}
EM: {GASP!} She's hiding a sparkle ball! That's IT! No more nice cat!
MK: Come on, Ellie. You can be friends.
EM: Nope. Over my dead body.
EM: Did I ask you? NO! I'm planning my sleep-overs with Rhonda.
The Boy: WHO?
BC: You're going to regret asking.
EM: My new best friend! She's not very cuddly but I don't hold that against her.
{Pause}
EM: {GASP!} She's hiding a sparkle ball! That's IT! No more nice cat!
MK: Come on, Ellie. You can be friends.
EM: Nope. Over my dead body.
BC: OOOOOOOOOOOH! Promise?
EM: HMPH!
BC: The black invader and the Ellie-Vader find themselves at odds.
MK: Food time?
BC: As long as I don't have to share with HER!
EM: HEY! I'm hungry too!
BC: I wasn't talking about you!
EM: REALLY?!?!
BC: Yes.
{Pause}
BC: No.
{Pause}
BC: Err ...
EM: You LIKE me! All it took was a third cat to chase you into my arms.
{Pause}
EM: Err ... paws.
BC: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Don't give Momma any ideas! Unless you WANT to share our food bowls, litter boxes, and toys with another real cat.
EM: You're RIGHT! Nope. We have the perfect house as it is ...
BC: Well, I wouldn't go THAT far ...
EM: No siblings for us. No siblings to play with.
MK: What are you talking about, Ellie?
EM: How I don't want another cat around here.
MK: Who said anything about another cat?
BC: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
MK: Okay. Who wants to go first?
BC: ME! ME! PICK ME!
EM: Umm ... HE ALWAYS GETS TO GO FIRST!
{Momma whips out the claw clippers}
BC: THAT WAS A DIRTY TRICK! I'll have you know I won't take this sitting down. Or standing up. Or upside down. Or flying. NOPE!
EM: Never mind. Better him than me.
MK: Come on, Bear ...
BC: PUT ME THE @*&^ DOWN YOU *)@#% OR I'LL &@%$! YOUR *^&# UP!
{Momma continues to clip Bear's claws as he curses her out and she lets a couple choice words flow herself}
MK: Bandages are on. Ellie's turn.
EM: Moooooommma! And to think I was happy you were home!
MK: If you don't fight me, this goes much faster.
EM: I'm really really mad at you! I'm saying some really bad words in my head right now! I'm ... I'm ... just SO MAD at you!
BC: Tell her how you really feel.
EM: Oh, SHUT UP!
Featured posts:
EM: HMPH!
BC: The black invader and the Ellie-Vader find themselves at odds.
MK: Food time?
BC: As long as I don't have to share with HER!
EM: HEY! I'm hungry too!
BC: I wasn't talking about you!
EM: REALLY?!?!
BC: Yes.
{Pause}
BC: No.
{Pause}
BC: Err ...
EM: You LIKE me! All it took was a third cat to chase you into my arms.
{Pause}
EM: Err ... paws.
BC: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Don't give Momma any ideas! Unless you WANT to share our food bowls, litter boxes, and toys with another real cat.
EM: You're RIGHT! Nope. We have the perfect house as it is ...
BC: Well, I wouldn't go THAT far ...
EM: No siblings for us. No siblings to play with.
MK: What are you talking about, Ellie?
EM: How I don't want another cat around here.
MK: Who said anything about another cat?
BC: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
MK: Okay. Who wants to go first?
BC: ME! ME! PICK ME!
EM: Umm ... HE ALWAYS GETS TO GO FIRST!
{Momma whips out the claw clippers}
BC: THAT WAS A DIRTY TRICK! I'll have you know I won't take this sitting down. Or standing up. Or upside down. Or flying. NOPE!
EM: Never mind. Better him than me.
MK: Come on, Bear ...
BC: PUT ME THE @*&^ DOWN YOU *)@#% OR I'LL &@%$! YOUR *^&# UP!
{Momma continues to clip Bear's claws as he curses her out and she lets a couple choice words flow herself}
MK: Bandages are on. Ellie's turn.
EM: Moooooommma! And to think I was happy you were home!
MK: If you don't fight me, this goes much faster.
EM: I'm really really mad at you! I'm saying some really bad words in my head right now! I'm ... I'm ... just SO MAD at you!
BC: Tell her how you really feel.
EM: Oh, SHUT UP!
Featured posts:
- If you missed the last time the comforter "exploded" with Bear barely managing to scramble to safety ...
- If you missed the first Ellie-Vader post ... ForBEARance.
- Who are the Dweebles?!?! Dweeble Dumb and Dweeble Dumber.
- Bear's desire for a bazooka first appeared in ... "On Momma's bazooka" from "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 20.
- Ellie shared her enthusiasm for a slumber party in ... Momma-fication.
- The last dialogue we shared about Bear's frustration at having his claws clipped ... He loves me ... he loves me not.
The dark side looks fun to me Ellie Vader, may the furs be with you!
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha!
DeleteBrian...you DO have just the right comment! Loved that!
DeleteNice to have a new friend, right Ellie. But you really are much prettier. You all have a super day.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeletePsst: I think that new friend of yours might be a decoy because we have a newcomer around here who looks very similar to her! Perhaps, they are spies?
ReplyDeleteThe only question ... WHO ARE THEY WORKING FOR?!? ~Bear Cat
DeleteDon't worry Ellie, you are much cuddlier than the new black cat.
ReplyDeleteI agree!
DeleteI hope you and Rhonda are fast friends! She's a little on the skinny side, so you better share your food with her.
ReplyDeleteUmm ... share my food?! Err ... ~Ellie Mae
DeleteEllie, I love your personality. You are just so funny and cute. Hope you're able to have some fun with Rhonda. :)
ReplyDeleteBear, "staunching the flow of fluff" cracked me up. You've got all the excuses!
They're not excuses! Err ... mostly. ~Bear Cat
DeleteEllie, you have your sparkle ball, Manny has his spring toy! Play, play, play, play...
ReplyDeleteIt never ends or gets old!
DeleteWe had no idea you drew the line at sharing your sparkly balls. Wow! We aren't sure your new bestie might be willing to braid your furs if you don't share!
ReplyDeleteI have to draw the line somewhere! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteWhat a cute horseshoe cat! 😺
ReplyDeleteWe think so too!
Delete"Now you know what happened to Momma's LAST black cat."...ooh, that's just mean, Bear! We think Rhonda is adorable :)
ReplyDeleteDon't listen to Smellie! Her name's not Rhonda at all! I know! ~Bear Cat
DeleteThat is one totally weird flat cat! It it for Halloween? We don't have it here (none of your fun traditions only the commercial side). I'd love the kitty in my raised bed!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure whether it's meant to be a Halloween lawn ornament type thing - but I'll display it proudly!
DeleteBUT: What about the sparkle ball? Does the new 'resident' pf the very arched back have it or is it under the couch? Has BC got it?
ReplyDeleteHe knows better! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteAMARULA: Oh Bear! You always have the best ideas! I was just hanging out at home wondering how I could torture the human today and unstuffing comforters sounds like a perfect idea! A perfect way to spend a Saturday!
ReplyDeleteAnd frame Frodo!!! Hehehehe. ~Bear Cat
DeleteBear looks like you had your own personal snow storm...LOL
ReplyDeleteEllie Mae keep a watchful eye on the sparkle ball eating couch
Hugs Cecilia
I'm not sorry! ~Bear Cat
DeleteMomma knows how to make it so you don't miss her too much when she's gone! :) But we wonder why the Boy doesn't clip your nails while Momma is gone. Is he scared?? MOL - we wouldn't blame him if he was!!
ReplyDeleteJan & the crew at Wag 'n Woof Pets
The Boy figures it's "not necessary" ... in other words, yes, he's scared :)
DeleteNice to meet your new friend, Ellie ! Purrs
ReplyDeleteShe's pretty fun! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteI hate to say this to you both, but do you think this could be the start of a trend, I mean a black cat now then a week another, maybe a tabby. All sleek slim and quiet.... An alien take over, like the invasion of the body snatchers!!!
ReplyDeleteBest try and get it thrown out ASAP.
Toodle pips and purrs
ERin
NO! Now I'm going to have nightmares! Can you imagine that in a Bear equivalent? ~Ellie Mae
DeleteThat is a cute cat, but you have nothing to worry about Ellie. XO
ReplyDeleteI'm so much prettier! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteHey, me thinks we might have a few of those skinny stiff cats 'round here too. Trust us Ellie, they don't eat your noms and won't steal your toys like the furry siblings do. Ya' know Bear, ifin you were nicer to Ellie, ya'll could work together to find a great hidin' place to keep those claw clippin's at bay. Big hugs
ReplyDeleteLuv ya'
Dezi and Raena
She refuses to use her claws! What's the point of living if you're not going to use them? ~Bear Cat
DeleteBear and Ellie, maybe your momma is planning to make a sculpture with all the claw nibs she trims off? Hmm... I wonder what she'd name the sculpture... My mom has saved more than a few of my black whiskers that have fallen off. Humans are just WEIRD!! Tummy tickles.
ReplyDeleteMy Momma saves whiskers too! You don't see us saving their fingernail clippings! ~Bear Cat
Delete