MK: Momma Kat
EM: Ellie Mae
The Boy: Momma's fiance
BC: Grrr ... Uhhhh ... ohhh ... {GRUNT}. Sweet tulip testicles!
MK: Keep it down! We don't need the sound effects. And they don't help you poop.
BC: Phht. Everyone knows the world is a stage. And I am ready for my close-up!
MK: Pretty sure that doesn't extend to the litter box.
BC: Says you. If I just {GRUNT} ... maybe over here ... {Bear farts}.
MK: Really?!? I mean ... REALLY!?!?! How about you just leave the drama outside of the litter box?
BC: Phht. As if. I can't think outside the box.
MK: Can you at least be quieter?
BC: BOO-YAH! TOUCHDOWN! The eagle has landed! DONE!
{Pause}
BC: You might want to attend to the litter box. I just had the mother of all Smellies!
MK: I already smell your smelly ... but thanks. You could try covering it in the meantime - because I'm in the middle of something.
BC: I did the Smellie right in there!
MK: Yes, the smell indicates you had a stinky poop.
BC: NO. I did a SMELLIE ... S. M. E. L. L. I. E.
MK: So help me ... if I find your sister in pieces in the litter box ...
BC: Pieces?!? Hahahahahaha. Do I have to explain EVERYTHING to you?
MK: Let me rephrase that ... if I even see ONE piece of your sister ...
BC: I POOPED! Smellie's poopy! So I used her as a synonym for poop.
MK: PHEW!
EM: HEY!
BC: Hay is for Smellie Neighs. Hahahaha.
EM: Shut it ... or else.
MK: I'm not laughing.
BC: Back to the business as paw ... It's not nearly as funny when I have to explain it to you. I . DID. A. SMELLIE. Means I pooped!
EM: That's not very nice.
BC: I'm a CAT!
EM: Right. You're not nice. I'm a NICE cat.
BC: So you keep saying! NICE to beat up! Hahahahaha.
EM: Say that to my face, jerkwad!
BC: Uh oh.
EM: Yeah. You're a big britches behind my back ... but you don't have the nuts to say stuff to my face.
BC: HEY! I don't have nuts because Momma had them removed! Besides, saying something to your face would BE nuts. Hmmmmm ... that gives me IDEAS. I need that ... and this ... and hahahahaha. This is going to be EPIC! I'll be known around the world as the cat that started ...
EM: And we thought the hot air came out the other end.
BC: SHHHHHH! I'm busy! I have to CONCENTRATE.
MK: Oh, the irony. You make all kinds of inappropriate sounds and now YOU'RE the one asking for quiet.
BC: You've reached Bear Cat. I'm busy doing {mumble} {mumble} {mumble}. I don't really care what you have to say so don't bother with a message.
{Silence}
EM: {AHEM!}
BC: RATS! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
EM: Whatcha' doing?
BC: Mind your own bees-wax!
EM: Momma's permanent marker and sticky notes? I'm telling Momma! You're up to no good.
{Pause}
EM: Ummm ... Momma?! Bear's got the permanent marker and the sticky notes!
BC: Tattle-tail.
EM: I'd rather have a tattle-tail than that short and thin thing YOU call a tail.
BC: Hmph. It's not the size that matters ... but how you use it.
EM: When I flip my tail around, things get broken.
BC: What about Momma's face?! You're always whipping that thing around when you're on The Boy's shoulder and Momma's face bears the brunt of it. Her face isn't any more broken than it is usually.
MK: What's going on?
EM: PERMANENT MARKER and STICKY-NOTES! Remember what happened LAST time he used both?!
MK: How can I forget?!?! I ended up with "Bite me" written on my forehead and a ton of sticky notes stuck to my back!
[Momma thinks back to the last week ... the last time Bear got his paws on the permanent marker ...]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EM: What does your forehead say, Momma?
MK: I don't get it! My forehead doesn't say anything!
EM: Then what's in red?
MK: {at the bathroom mirror} What in the ... not AGAIN!
{Pause}
MK: BEAR CAT KAT!
BC: I didn't do it!
MK: This is PERMANENT MARKER! It won't come off!
BC: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Momma thinks back to the last week ... the last time Bear got his paws on the sticky notes ...]
The Boy: What's on your back?
MK: What do you mean?
The Boy: You have a bunch of sticky notes stuck to you back!
MK: What do they ... oh, never mind. I'll check myself.
{Momma looks in the mirror}
MK: OH! For the LOVE!!! BEAR CAT KAT!!!
BC: I didn't do it!
MK: REALLY?!?
{Pause}
BC: Err ... today.
MK: You mean I've been walking around with this since yesterday?
BC: I thought the snickers would've made it obvious!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Back to present day]
MK: BEAR! Hand over the markers and sticky-notes.
BC: I'm ignoring you ... but if I weren't ignoring you, I's say ... over my dead body.
EM: I'd be happy to arrange that.
BC: Phht. I'm not scared!
{Pause}
BC: Hey! See that over there?
BC: I'm ignoring you ... but if I weren't ignoring you, I's say ... over my dead body.
EM: I'd be happy to arrange that.
BC: Phht. I'm not scared!
{Pause}
BC: Hey! See that over there?
EM: {turning her head} What? I don't see any ...
{SLAP!!!}
EM: Huh? WHAT IS THIS ...
{Pause}
EM: {panicked} Get it off me!!! GET IT OFF ME!!! GET. THIS. OFF. ME. OR. YOU'RE. GOING. TO. REGRET. IT!!!
BC: HAHAHAHA. I'm enjoying the show too much ...
EM: You'd better sleep with one eye open if you know what's good for you!
{Pause}
EM: Wait! {GASP} MY FAVORITE MOUSIE!!! What's th ... MOUSIE MOUSIE!!! What did my horrible brother do to you?
{Pause}
EM: Hang on, Mousie! I'm going to save you!
BC: You know that mousie's not really alive, right?
EM: NO THANKS TO YOU!!!! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, MOUSIE! He's just jealous!
{Pause}
EM: Stupid sticky ... can't quite get it ... don't worry. I won't hurt you!
{Pause as Ellie rips the sticky note off mousie}
EM: THERE! That's better! Poor mousie got the scare of his life! You're okay mousie ... I've got you! I'll nurse you back to health and keep my stupid brother away from you!
MK: BEAR! Are you giving all the things with Sme ... err ... Ellie's name on them to her? Because that's pretty gener ...
BC: Phht. I own everything ... including her!
EM: You don't own me!
MK: BEAR! Then why the sticky notes with Ellie's name on them?
BC: I put those on the things I think are stupid.
MK: I don't get it.
{SLAP!!!}
BC: You get one too.
MK: So help me ... Why Ellie's name?
BC: Do I have to explain everything to you? Smellie is a synonym for dumb! I put the notes on the things I think are dumb. Like before ... when I pooped and I said I had an Ellie; only that one's a noun. Smellie's also a synonym for dumb!
EM: The irony ... you have to be really stupid to cross me. Again. Momma! Tell Bear to stop using my name!
BC: What are you talking about? I wrote your name all over the place!
EM: What's the catch or the gimmick?
BC: I'm trying to elucidate what's dumb.
EM: What the ... it's got my name on it! WHY?!?!
BC: Why don't you go in there and find out, SMELLIE BELLY?
EM: It's our old carrier!!!
BC: Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, DUMB!
EM: You're writing MY name on all the stuff you think is stupid?
BC: Were you not listening before? Phht. Working for your food is stupid. Thus YOUR name on the puzzle ...
EM: {seeing her name on the box} HEY! This Cat Amazing ... TREAT!!!!!
BC: TREAT?!?! WHERE?!?!
EM: SEE?!? This puzzle toy isn't dumb! BINGO!
BC: HEY! I want a treat too!
EM: Too late. YUM!!!!
BC: MOMMA! I want a treat too! It's SMELLIE that I don't get one!
MK: I might've felt sorry for you if you didn't use your sister's name in place of "dumb."
BC: It's unfair!
EM: Now THAT is worthy of being a synonym for Smellie!!! Hahahahahahahahahaha.
What were the other items Bear marked as Smellie {adj. stupid}?
Featured posts:
{SLAP!!!}
EM: Huh? WHAT IS THIS ...
{Pause}
EM: {panicked} Get it off me!!! GET IT OFF ME!!! GET. THIS. OFF. ME. OR. YOU'RE. GOING. TO. REGRET. IT!!!
BC: HAHAHAHA. I'm enjoying the show too much ...
EM: You'd better sleep with one eye open if you know what's good for you!
{Pause}
EM: Wait! {GASP} MY FAVORITE MOUSIE!!! What's th ... MOUSIE MOUSIE!!! What did my horrible brother do to you?
{Pause}
EM: Hang on, Mousie! I'm going to save you!
BC: You know that mousie's not really alive, right?
EM: NO THANKS TO YOU!!!! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, MOUSIE! He's just jealous!
{Pause}
EM: Stupid sticky ... can't quite get it ... don't worry. I won't hurt you!
{Pause as Ellie rips the sticky note off mousie}
EM: THERE! That's better! Poor mousie got the scare of his life! You're okay mousie ... I've got you! I'll nurse you back to health and keep my stupid brother away from you!
MK: BEAR! Are you giving all the things with Sme ... err ... Ellie's name on them to her? Because that's pretty gener ...
BC: Phht. I own everything ... including her!
EM: You don't own me!
MK: BEAR! Then why the sticky notes with Ellie's name on them?
BC: I put those on the things I think are stupid.
MK: I don't get it.
{SLAP!!!}
BC: You get one too.
MK: So help me ... Why Ellie's name?
BC: Do I have to explain everything to you? Smellie is a synonym for dumb! I put the notes on the things I think are dumb. Like before ... when I pooped and I said I had an Ellie; only that one's a noun. Smellie's also a synonym for dumb!
EM: The irony ... you have to be really stupid to cross me. Again. Momma! Tell Bear to stop using my name!
BC: What are you talking about? I wrote your name all over the place!
EM: What's the catch or the gimmick?
BC: I'm trying to elucidate what's dumb.
EM: What the ... it's got my name on it! WHY?!?!
BC: Why don't you go in there and find out, SMELLIE BELLY?
EM: It's our old carrier!!!
BC: Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, DUMB!
EM: You're writing MY name on all the stuff you think is stupid?
BC: Were you not listening before? Phht. Working for your food is stupid. Thus YOUR name on the puzzle ...
EM: {seeing her name on the box} HEY! This Cat Amazing ... TREAT!!!!!
BC: TREAT?!?! WHERE?!?!
EM: SEE?!? This puzzle toy isn't dumb! BINGO!
BC: HEY! I want a treat too!
EM: Too late. YUM!!!!
BC: MOMMA! I want a treat too! It's SMELLIE that I don't get one!
MK: I might've felt sorry for you if you didn't use your sister's name in place of "dumb."
BC: It's unfair!
EM: Now THAT is worthy of being a synonym for Smellie!!! Hahahahahahahahahaha.
What were the other items Bear marked as Smellie {adj. stupid}?
Featured posts:
- How has Bear used sticky-notes?
- Thanksgiving {kind of}.
- The name game.
- The no name game.
- The custody "arrangement."
- Pinkie Mouse in the White House.
- No Boys Allowed!
- Growing pains (this is the post where Bear labeled most of the contents of our house as his).
- And a crab cake with a tortie.
- Bear Cat's 9.5 theses.
- To read the posts associated with Bear's signs (other than sticky notes):
- Ellie finally has enough.
- There's a sign for that.
- Thanksgiving {kind of}.
- Poopetiquette.
- The ignominious scandal.
- How to get to ...
- The name game.
- The custody "arrangement."
- Drawing the line.
- Wear your tail loud and proud (Bear post).
- Momma's resolutions.
- Momma shaming.
- TMC ISO TWC.
- Momma's resolutions.
- I'm the shark.
- How to get to Bear's food bowl.
- Imitation: the sincerest form of flattery.
- Don't embed on me.
- And your little teeth too.
- To read more about Bear's intricate decision to cover or not cover in the litter box ... Poopetiquette.
I think you got it wrong Bear. You might think that putting those sticky notes on everything and everyone means they are dumb, but to me it looks like you have marked everything as belonging to Ellie.Not sure what she is going to do with the vacuum and toothbrush, but if I were you I wouldn't turn my back on her.
ReplyDeleteWomen can never be trusted! But yeah ... yeah ... the whole thing backfired!!! ~Bear Cat
DeleteBear, what you need is sticky notes for good things, not bad. Maybe a points system to rank them, too... like the energy efficiency ratings on electrical appliances.
ReplyDeleteToodle pips and purrs
ERin
We have all kinds of colors and sizes ... does that count? ~Bear Cat
DeleteHey Bear, Ellie Mae isn't stupid at all, she picked you for her Brother!
ReplyDeleteErr ... yeah. ~Bear Cat
DeleteWow.....Ellie owns a LOT of stuff AND she got the treat!!
ReplyDeleteThe Florida Furkids
My life is so unfair! ~Bear Cat
DeleteYep, Bear...I'm thinking that your sticky notes backfired on you, BIG TIME!
ReplyDeleteEvery thing backfires on me! Unlike with my sister, Smellie ... everything goes her way! ~Bear Cat
DeleteHmmm, I think someone needs a sticky note intervention. Or perhaps someone should be investing in sticky notes over there!
ReplyDeleteWe get them free to try ;) There's no way Momma could support Bear's habit any other way!
Deletedood....we dunno wear ya getted de markerz; ore wear ya getted de pozt a notez, but can ya
ReplyDeletetell uz pleez, who teeched ya how ta rite !!! AWESUM.... :) ☺☺♥♥
Practice. LOTS and LOTS of practice! ~Bear Cat
DeleteBear, Mudpie wants to know if you would put a sticky note on her and what would it say?
ReplyDelete"Once ... twice ... three times a tortie. And I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE you!" ~Bear Cat
DeleteI am impressed at your knowledge of synonyms and parts of speech Bear. :) XO
ReplyDeleteMy Momma had to look stuff up!
DeleteAMARULA: Bear, you gotta tell me where you get your supplies of sticky notes! And, more importantly, how did you learn to use a pen?!?!?
ReplyDeleteWe get them free to try ;) There's no way Momma could support Bear's sticky note habit any other way! About writing ... Practice. LOTS and LOTS of practice! ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteUh-oh...something tells me your little game might have backfired.
ReplyDeleteFIGURES! ~Bear Cat
DeleteBear, our Mama gets tired just trying to keep up with your logistics! And it does seem as though your sticky notepaper game backfired!! And on an aside, we think Ellie Mae looks extra adorable in that 13th photo!! But we know you didn't want to hear that . . . We hope you are otherwise enjoying summer and that your humans are also well :)
ReplyDeletethe critters in the cottage xo
EVERYTHING I do backfires! What's the point of having a sister if all my plans backfire? ~Bear Cat
DeleteBear, both you and Ellie are adorable. I love the pictures. It is rather interesting that the end result of all these sticky notes and calling Ellie names is that she got a treat and you didn't. That's a bummer.
ReplyDeleteDon't remind me!!! ~Bear Cat
DeleteLove those sticky notes - you are naughty!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I've been loving your Facebook posts!
That you so much! We love to hear that!
DeleteMOL MOL MOL my word somebuddy needs to have their post it and permanent marker privileges taken away.
ReplyDeleteYou are a funny pair for sure
Hugs madi your bfff
You're talking about Smellie, right? A woman can't be trusted with that kind of stuff! ~Bear Cat
DeleteLooks like Ellie was the one to score this time, Bear!
ReplyDeleteHMPH. Sisters ruin everything! ~Bear Cat
DeleteWell, We might not get all this, but we did get that Ellie got treats and your didn't bear. Maybe you should spend less time with the sticky notes and more time bein' nice. Ya' know sharin' is carin'. And, it usually means gettin' more treats...least 'roud our house it does. Big hugs
ReplyDeleteLuv ya'
Dezi ans Raena
Be NICE?!?! {GASP} No one will know me anymore! ~Bear Cat
DeleteSnort! Gfffaw!!! Giggle!!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy $th of July to you Bear (and Smellie! and The Grrl and the Boy)
Purrs
Marv
We love to make you laugh, Marv! We can hear you from here ;)
DeleteBear, you sure are making Ellie Mae the owner of lots of stuff/ Um, what is she learns to use that vacuum? Would she use it on YOU??? Yikes.
ReplyDeleteThe vacuum?! She's even scared-er of it than I am! You should see her try to squeeze under the bed when it comes on! ~Bear Cat
DeleteHi Bear, Ellie Mae isn't stupid at all, she picked you for her Brother!
ReplyDeleteHmph. If she'd been smart, she'd have run the other way! ~Bear Cat
Delete