MK: Momma Kat
The Boy: Momma's fiance
EM: Ellie Mae
{Momma and The Boy come home from dinner out ... and Momma changes back into her comfy pants, throwing her jeans on the floor}
MK: Watch these.
{Bear sits next to Momma's pants on the floor ... The Boy comes along}
BC: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!
The Boy: Excuse me?
BC: Did you fart? You're never excused.
The Boy: No. What shouldn't I even think about?
BC: I see you eyeing Momma's pants. She told me to watch them.
MK: {from the other room} I didn't mean literally!
BC: You're not allowed in Momma's pants. Only Momma's allowed in Momma's pants.
The Boy: You're guarding your Momma's pants? I thought you wore the pants?
{Bear glares at The Boy}
The Boy: Okay, okay ... moving along!
BC: WAIT!
{Pause as Bear narrows his eyes}
BC: You're wearing her underwear!
The Boy: WHAT THE HELL ...
BC: Because of me and my guard of her pants, you couldn't get in her pants so you put on her underpants.
The Boy: NO! I have no desire to wear your Momma's pants - over, under, or otherwise.
{Pause}
The Boy: Could this conversation get any stran ...
BC: Is that a challenge?
The Boy: WHAT?!?! NO!
{Pause}
The Boy: Uh oh.
BC: They cup your butt just so! But they look like they're riding up your butt.
The Boy: {sign} Never mind. It just got stranger.
MK: Bear!
BC: I didn't do it!
MK: BEAR CAT KAT!
BC: Uh oh. My full name in all caps is never good.
MK: What's that on the wall behind you?
BC: Err ... I don't see anything on the wall behind me.
{Momma points at the sign}
MK: THERE!
BC: Oh. THAT part of the wall behind me.
MK: You tacked signs up all over the house!
BC: I didn't do it!
MK: Which of them didn't you do?
BC: ALL OF THEM! I was framed!
MK: I told you no more signs!
BC: I didn't do it!
MK: {sigh} Good grief. These posters are everywhere.
BC: You're welcome!!! The decor was getting a bit old, Momma. And you resisted my other attempts at livening up the digs.
MK: BEAR! Clawing the couches and breaking the blinds are not the same thing as decorating.
BC: I'm an artiste. And my art is fine. No need to plead that you have no idea what I'm talking about. You're not THAT stupid.
MK: I've had just about enough of your signs!
The Boy: {whispering to Ellie} Hehehehehe. Even she's not immune to His Royal Grumpiness.
MK: And what's this about ...
BC: Hear ye! Hear ye! From hence forth, July 6th shall be known as Share Bear Day.
MK: Umm ... WHAT?!?
BC: Share Bear Day.
MK: You don't share.
BC: OBVIOUSLY. But I'm talking about sharing myself with the world. I think they're ready to handle my awesome.
EM: I don't think so. Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Because that's not what Momma calls it.
BC: No ... no ... you're right. The world could never be ready for my awesome.
The Boy: Sharing yourself as in what you did last night ... you know, walking all over my back while I sleep?
BC: TRY to sleep. Phht. I had to practice! And besides, I get in trouble when I walk all over your chest.
The Boy: Because you feel like a heart attack!
BC: Keep mocking my weight and I'll GIVE you a heart attack!
MK: So what's this day about?
The Boy: You're going to regret ...
BC: Most of the world has NO IDEA of my brilliance. They need assistance to see the light ... and I'm bright. A star. A princess. Awesome.
MK: Oh, brother.
BC: I'm one of those too! Not very happy about it ... but at least Smellie gets a taste of my awesome.
EM: Again, not sure "awesome" is the word I'd use.
BC: You're just jealous that you don't have awesome to share. Fifty shades of tabby, baby. Not one shade of annoying.
EM: Is this because Momma posted on Facebook about it being my Gotcha Day?
BC: Wait ... WHAT?!?! She never talks about MY Gotcha Day! How rude! Her favoritism spills out all over the place! This is discrimination! I want my lawyer! I want the President! I want the PRESIDENT'S lawyer! I want the mother-meowing ethics committee!!!
EM: Why would she celebrate YOUR Gotcha Day?!? I mean, she got a whiff of and was indentured to your ...
BC: AWESOME!
EM: That's one word for it.
BC: Phht. Everyone should admire me.
EM: No, thanks.
BC: Huh. I mean, anyone with discriminating taste and an ounce of sense should admire me.
EM: Wait. Just one day a year? Because I might be able to handle that.
BC: Oh, SHUT UP! EVERY day should be Share Bear Day.
The Boy: Isn't it? I mean, we deal with your surly ... obnoxious ... cantankerous ... self every day.
BC: Yes, but do you really ADMIRE me every day?
The Boy: So this isn't about adding to people's lives by sharing your awesome ... but instead so others will admire you.
BC: Is it that obvious?
The Boy: But to answer your question ... I don't know that I'd call it ADMIRATION ... but I certainly have feelings about your surly ... obnoxious ... cantankerous ... self.
BC: Phht. Like I care about your feelings!
The Boy: You just said ...
BC: NO! I want people who matter to admire me.
The Boy: So Ellie and I are off the hook?
{Ellie snickers}
BC: DO you always ask so many questions? Or are you trying to hijack this day for yourself and make it all about you?
The Boy: All about me? That would be a breath of fresh air. Instead of the stagnant nonsense of your "awesomeness."
BC: So you admit it! I even made another sign to elucidate the shades of tabby around here!
{Pause}
The Boy: Uh oh.
BC: They cup your butt just so! But they look like they're riding up your butt.
The Boy: {sign} Never mind. It just got stranger.
MK: Bear!
BC: I didn't do it!
MK: BEAR CAT KAT!
BC: Uh oh. My full name in all caps is never good.
MK: What's that on the wall behind you?
BC: Err ... I don't see anything on the wall behind me.
{Momma points at the sign}
MK: THERE!
BC: Oh. THAT part of the wall behind me.
MK: You tacked signs up all over the house!
BC: I didn't do it!
MK: Which of them didn't you do?
BC: ALL OF THEM! I was framed!
MK: I told you no more signs!
BC: I didn't do it!
MK: {sigh} Good grief. These posters are everywhere.
BC: You're welcome!!! The decor was getting a bit old, Momma. And you resisted my other attempts at livening up the digs.
MK: BEAR! Clawing the couches and breaking the blinds are not the same thing as decorating.
BC: I'm an artiste. And my art is fine. No need to plead that you have no idea what I'm talking about. You're not THAT stupid.
MK: I've had just about enough of your signs!
The Boy: {whispering to Ellie} Hehehehehe. Even she's not immune to His Royal Grumpiness.
MK: And what's this about ...
BC: Hear ye! Hear ye! From hence forth, July 6th shall be known as Share Bear Day.
MK: Umm ... WHAT?!?
BC: Share Bear Day.
MK: You don't share.
BC: OBVIOUSLY. But I'm talking about sharing myself with the world. I think they're ready to handle my awesome.
EM: I don't think so. Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Because that's not what Momma calls it.
BC: No ... no ... you're right. The world could never be ready for my awesome.
The Boy: Sharing yourself as in what you did last night ... you know, walking all over my back while I sleep?
BC: TRY to sleep. Phht. I had to practice! And besides, I get in trouble when I walk all over your chest.
The Boy: Because you feel like a heart attack!
BC: Keep mocking my weight and I'll GIVE you a heart attack!
MK: So what's this day about?
The Boy: You're going to regret ...
BC: Most of the world has NO IDEA of my brilliance. They need assistance to see the light ... and I'm bright. A star. A princess. Awesome.
MK: Oh, brother.
BC: I'm one of those too! Not very happy about it ... but at least Smellie gets a taste of my awesome.
EM: Again, not sure "awesome" is the word I'd use.
BC: You're just jealous that you don't have awesome to share. Fifty shades of tabby, baby. Not one shade of annoying.
EM: Is this because Momma posted on Facebook about it being my Gotcha Day?
BC: Wait ... WHAT?!?! She never talks about MY Gotcha Day! How rude! Her favoritism spills out all over the place! This is discrimination! I want my lawyer! I want the President! I want the PRESIDENT'S lawyer! I want the mother-meowing ethics committee!!!
EM: Why would she celebrate YOUR Gotcha Day?!? I mean, she got a whiff of and was indentured to your ...
BC: AWESOME!
EM: That's one word for it.
BC: Phht. Everyone should admire me.
EM: No, thanks.
BC: Huh. I mean, anyone with discriminating taste and an ounce of sense should admire me.
EM: Wait. Just one day a year? Because I might be able to handle that.
BC: Oh, SHUT UP! EVERY day should be Share Bear Day.
The Boy: Isn't it? I mean, we deal with your surly ... obnoxious ... cantankerous ... self every day.
BC: Yes, but do you really ADMIRE me every day?
The Boy: So this isn't about adding to people's lives by sharing your awesome ... but instead so others will admire you.
BC: Is it that obvious?
The Boy: But to answer your question ... I don't know that I'd call it ADMIRATION ... but I certainly have feelings about your surly ... obnoxious ... cantankerous ... self.
BC: Phht. Like I care about your feelings!
The Boy: You just said ...
BC: NO! I want people who matter to admire me.
The Boy: So Ellie and I are off the hook?
{Ellie snickers}
BC: DO you always ask so many questions? Or are you trying to hijack this day for yourself and make it all about you?
The Boy: All about me? That would be a breath of fresh air. Instead of the stagnant nonsense of your "awesomeness."
BC: So you admit it! I even made another sign to elucidate the shades of tabby around here!
MK: So you admit it!
BC: Err ...
EM: Phht. Your stripes make your butt look huge.
BC: They DO NOT.
EM: Yeah. You're right.
BC: That's what I ...
EM: {scratch, scratch, scratch} Your butt really is that big!
BC: Don't THREATEN me with our new scratcher!
MK: WHAT?!? Ellie's using the new scratcher! LOOOOOOOK! Ellie's using the scratcher we got from Erin The Cat Princess! Isn't she cute?!?
BC: HEY! We were talking about ME! MEMEMEMEMEMEME! A cat uses a scratcher and all good sense goes to hell! Cute this and cute that ... We were talking about ME! You don't see a "Share Smellie Day!!!"
EM: {laying back down} YOU made that nonsense up! No one else cares about your "awesomeness."
{Pause}
EM: Now if you don't mind, I'm BUSY getting the humans to melt in my paws like putty! A little scratch here ... a little over there ... a LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG stretch ...
EM: Oh. And I see you hiding back there in the paper.
BC: Of all the underhanded ...
{Pause}
BC: Under-pawed tricks!
{Pause}BC: Under-pawed tricks!
EM: Oh. And I see you hiding back there in the paper.
BC: WHAT?!?!? Momma's voodoo who-do is rubbing off on you! How can you know I'm here without turning around? FREAKY. I can't even get away with the slightest infraction in a room across the house from where Momma is. It's like she sees everything ...
EM: Your voice is behind me.
BC: Oh. I knew that.
EM: Your voice is behind me.
BC: Oh. I knew that.
{Ellie scratches a few more times for effect}
MK: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
BC: BARF!
EM: You're just jealous that you're not as cute as I am!
MK: Look! She's SOOO cute!!!
BC: I can't BELIEVE this! What's wrong with you people?!?
{Pause}
BC: I feel used ... dirty ... when I feel like this, I need to "redecorate."
MK: Bear, how about we celebrate Share Bear Day?
The Boy: This house won't be big enough for his ego if you encourage him.
BC: PHHT. Mommas are for encouraging!
The Boy: And enabling. You're going to regret this!
MK: Start with treats?
BC: Hmph.
{Pause}
BC: The tuna ones?
MK: Of course.
BC: One or two or for real?
MK: For real.
BC: {walking into the pantry where the treats are kept} Don't think a few tuna treats lets you off the hook!
MK: For what?
BC: EVERYTHING!
MK: Is this part of the celebration of, "Share Bear Day?"
BC: OBVIOUSLY. If I weren't ornery and cantakerous, you wouldn't know who I am!
MK: Of course I would! You'll always be Momma's handsome stripe-y pants!
BC: I DO have handsome stripe-y pants!
MK: You know, every day on our blog is Share Bear Day. I started the blog to share all the joy, happiness, and love you give me on a daily basis.
BC: Hmph. You share the Dweebles too!
MK: Because you add to their lives as well.
EM: {whispering to The Boy} Yeah. He adds nonsense and claws ... not in that order.
The Boy: Hehehehehe.
BC: Well, that's a bunch of ... huh. You're right. They need me to make their lives complete.
EM: {whispering to The Boy} What's he talking about?
The Boy: I have NO idea! Though I prefer the nonsense to the claws.
BC: I DO have handsome stripe-y pants!
MK: You know, every day on our blog is Share Bear Day. I started the blog to share all the joy, happiness, and love you give me on a daily basis.
BC: Hmph. You share the Dweebles too!
MK: Because you add to their lives as well.
EM: {whispering to The Boy} Yeah. He adds nonsense and claws ... not in that order.
The Boy: Hehehehehe.
BC: Well, that's a bunch of ... huh. You're right. They need me to make their lives complete.
EM: {whispering to The Boy} What's he talking about?
The Boy: I have NO idea! Though I prefer the nonsense to the claws.
BC: I love you, Momma.
MK: I love you, too, Bug.
BC: Cuddles?!
MK: Like you have to ask.
BC: Can you do that thing I like that you do when you're rubbing my ear?
MK: Of course.
BC: Can you do that thing I like that you do when you're rubbing my ear?
MK: Of course.
BC: This ... PURR ... is ... PURR ... even ... PURR ... better ... PURR ... than ... PURR ... I ... PURRRR ... thought ... PURR ... it ... PURR ... would ... PURR ... be! This ... PURR ... is the ... PURR ... BEST ... PURR ... day ... PURR ... EVER!
The Boy: {whispering to Ellie} BARF! We're not nearly that goober-y, are we?
The Boy: {whispering to Ellie} BARF! We're not nearly that goober-y, are we?
EM: Of course not!
The Boy: HMPH. Share Bear Day indeed!
EM: You're the best thing EVER!
The Boy: So are you, baby girl.
EM: Well, the best thing ever - at least until Momma's lap isn't occupied.
The Boy: Great.
Featured posts:
The Boy: Great.
Featured posts:
- To read the posts associated with Bear's signs (other than sticky notes):
- Ellie finally has enough.
- There's a sign for that.
- Thanksgiving {kind of}.
- Poopetiquette.
- The ignominious scandal.
- How to get to ...
- The name game.
- The custody "arrangement."
- Drawing the line.
- Wear your tail loud and proud (Bear post).
- Momma's resolutions.
- Momma shaming.
- TMC ISO TWC.
- Momma's resolutions.
- I'm the shark.
- How to get to Bear's food bowl.
- Imitation: the sincerest form of flattery.
- Don't embed on me.
- And your little teeth too.
- How has Bear used sticky-notes?
- Smellie: {noun} poop, {adj} stupid.
- Thanksgiving {kind of}.
- The name game.
- The no name game.
- The custody "arrangement."
- Pinkie Mouse in the White House.
- No Boys Allowed!
- Growing pains (this is the post where Bear labeled most of the contents of our house as his).
- And a crab cake with a tortie.
- Bear Cat's 9.5 theses.
- To read more about His Royal Sharkiness ... I'm the shark, The chicken, and His Royal Sharkiness.
- If you missed Bear's announcement of his intention to be a cat rapper and drop more than beats ... Momma's Sad . . . and Bear For President!
- Bear's changed a number of songs to suit him ...
- Momma's home.
- Bear's Christmas.
- Christmas: Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat Style.
- "On tasty reindeer (part 2 - Christmas day)," from "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 15.
- Kitty Diva or Pop "Tart?" {The blow-out performance of "I'm too sexy" song}.
- How to get to Bear's food bowl.
- Bear, While Momma Sleeps.
- Tiger's Pride. {The "I feel pretty" song}.
- The flea party.
- Bear's adoption application.
- Get ready to crumble.
- Bear: The Musical.
- I did.
- I'm the sea mammal.
- The international chicken incident.
- Things that make you go hmph ...
- Younger siblings SUCK!
- Surreal greatness, part 2.
- Heavy artillery {and Christmas}.
- And a crab cake with a tortie.
- Same thing!
- A new camera and the "D" word.
- Bear vs. Ellie: A showdown.
- Dweeble Mitigation Zone.
- I'd rather be a pretty girl!
- We need a spaceship.
- Who's Male Princess Buttercup? "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 22 ("On tiaras," part 1 and part 2).
- Who are the Dweebles? Dweeble Dumb and Dweeble Dumber.
- To read more about Bear's adoption story (and how our blog got started) ...
Happy Share Bear Day ... or was it Bear Share day? Anyways, You both look very special to us, and I cant wait to see you on the scratcher, too, Bear. That S scratcher is one of our all time FAV places to be, to soak up the ambiance of the day and be served treats etc... Maybe your momma and the boy could share it too, or have a bigger one made?
ReplyDeleteToodle pips and purrs
ERin
I'm not sharing. ~Ellie Mae
DeleteShare Bear AND SHARE THE SCRATCHER day - that has a ring to it ;-)
ReplyDeleteYou DO make me laugh Bear * stiffles a giggle *
We love to hear that!
DeleteBC, we really think it's unwise for anyone to challenge you on... Anything, really. And Ellie, how did we miss your Gotcha Day ??? Happy day, late! We're so glad you came into your family's lives, and into the Kitteh Blogosphere.
ReplyDeleteHA! Exactly! Challenge me and lose! Err ... though there are a couple important provisos to that ... ~Bear Cat
DeleteBear, I'm not sure the world is ready for your awesome--it's kind of overwhelming. You and your handsome stripey pants! :)
ReplyDeleteThat's what Ellie and The Boy say about my awesome too! And they don't even admit my stripe-y pants are handsome! ~Bear Cat
DeleteHappy Share Bear Day and Happy Gotcha Day Ellie!
ReplyDeleteThank you :)
DeleteIn the end, love is all that matters, you four...and it appears that it was given all 'round!
ReplyDeleteWe might have a blip here and there ... but for the most part, it is.
DeleteBear you were the first kitty and will always have a very special place in your Momma's heart
ReplyDeleteHugs madi your bfff
Hmph. It would be better if I were the ONLY kitty in my Momma's heart. More tuna treats for me too! ~Bear Cat
DeleteSharing love and each other is a good thing!
ReplyDeleteWe might have a blip here and there ... but for the most part, it is.
DeleteAww... why does everyone pick on you, Bear?
ReplyDeleteWe think you're sweet :)
Purrs xx
Athena and Marie
No kidding! Why DOES everyone pick on sweet, wittle me? ~Bear Cat
DeleteI'M THE SHARK! ~Bear Cat
DeleteEllie, you do look very cute lying on your new scratcher. Bear, I love that expression on your face as you get in the paper looking ready to pounce. It's very nice of you to share your awesomeness. You could also share your tuna treats...
ReplyDeleteUh ... not sharing the treats. Not every cat is as sweet as you, Annie! ~Bear Cat
DeleteBear and Ellie, we know you love each other. Just like me and Lexy. But don't tell anyone that. Please and thanks.
ReplyDeleteNo problem. We didn't hear anything ... besides, we don't want our secret ruined! ~Bear Cat
DeleteIt is very thoughtful of you to share your awesomeness with the world. Are you sure we are ready for it though?
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's an acquired taste?! ~Bear Cat
DeleteAMARULA: I think the world will never be ready to handle your awesome. Your brightness will blind them bear!! But I do agree and henceforth proclaim that July 6 Share Bear Day!!
ReplyDeleteThe Human: Happy Gotcha day to your sister Bear!
Ugh. HER. She doesn't exist on July 6. Just saying ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteWe're up for celebrating Share Bear Day!!! Your new scratcher looks pawsome too :)
ReplyDeleteHmph. The time Ellie spends in the scratcher is time I don't have to worry about her being in my other beds! WIN/WIN for everyone! ~Bear Cat
DeleteBear, you get what you want every time. The blog is, after all, called Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat. You get star billing and the rest are just supporting actors. :)
ReplyDeleteOBVIOUSLY! Sometimes I think my Momma forgets that though! ~Bear Cat
DeleteI wanted to come back and let you know how much your comment today meant to me. ❤️
ReplyDeleteIt was heartfelt :)
DeleteBear, we should have "share bear" day EVERY SINGLE DAY!! Not just one day! And...about Ellie and the cat show...Cody is a super social cat so if there was one closer I wouldn't hesitate to bring him. But...my Angel Bobo would have HATED it. It might be too overwhelming for Ellie with all of those people.
ReplyDeleteCan't hurt to try, right?
DeleteEr, Happy, um, Share Bear Day.
ReplyDeleteThank you! You might consider starting your own day, CK! I mean, the world needs stunning! ~Bear Cat
DeleteBear you are my idol...you say many things and for some reason no one listens but I do. You're wonderful.
ReplyDeleteShoko
Thank you, Shoks. You're a good friend and we love you :)
DeleteTreats work. Every. single. time. Happy Share Bear Day.
ReplyDeleteThank you :)
DeleteWe love how pro-active you are, Bear. You set yourself a task and accomplish it! For example those posters are truly awesome! You continue to make the rules and everyone should listen. Afterall, it is YOUR house; the other three are merely guests!
ReplyDeleteHappy Gotcha Day Ellie! We remember when you were gotcha'ed ; you look so healthy, happy and loved now :)
I am one content kitty. Momma doesn't know about my past - but she knows I'm happy and healthy now. ~Ellie Mae
DeleteCan you tell my Momma all that?!? ~Bear Cat
It is very thoughtful of you to share your awesomeness with the world. Are you sure we are ready for it though?
ReplyDeleteI have a duty to share it anyway ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteOh no! I am late so I missed Share Bear Day :(
ReplyDeleteWe'll have a second one ... just for you!
DeleteDid we miss a Gotchaday? Hmmmmpht We're so tired of mommy business. It gets in the way of all our furiend stuffs. We're so happy to be your furiends Bear and Ellie too. What a great thing to have a whole day to share yourself with all of us, Bear. We luv ya'. Big hugs fur all.
ReplyDeleteLuv ya'
Dezi and Raena
We celebrate you ladies and our friendship every day!
DeleteHa ha ha, and here I thought I was the only one who would make a post about someone getting into someone's pants.
ReplyDeleteI think your Momma has the patience of a saint. :-)
Hahahahaha.
DeleteSaint?! I have to put up with HER AND SMELLIE! Just saying ;) ~Bear Cat
Oh no, we missed Ellie's Gotcha Day! Happy Gotcha Day, sweetie! And Share Bear Day, I like it. But I'm not sure if the world is ready for all your awesome. Because there's a lot of it!
ReplyDeleteThank you :) I agree! ~Bear Cat
DeleteHow did I miss Ellie's Gotcha Day?! EEK! And I'm late for Share Bear Day! EEK! Bear and Ellie, I hope you don't disown me as your furr-iend, 'cause I really do luv you so-o. Can you furr-give a floofy chat noir? Actually, it's Mom's fault! I appologize on behalf of her Methusela-like ways! Happy belated Gotcha Day & Share Bear Day! Kisses.
ReplyDeleteThank you, V. You are a great friend ... and your Mom too!
Delete