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We need a spaceship

EM: Ellie Mae
BC: Bear Cat
The Boy: Momma's fiance
MK: Momma Kat

 EM: Do de do ...

BC: I see you up there on the table ignoring me!
{Silence}
BC: Come down here so I can beat you up properly! You can't stay up there forever!
EM: I didn't do anything!
BC: Are you my little ... err ... FAT sister?
EM: I guess.
BC: Then that's what you did! The table can't save you ... 
EM: Whatever. You sleep and then take a break to eat  ... you're more likely to leave the room first.
BC: I'm a busy cat! TOO busy to sit here and wait for you to come down for your just hurts.
EM: My what?
BC: Just hurts!
EM: You mean "just desserts?"
BC: Don't try to trick me! I know what I'm talking about!
EM: Moron.
BC: More-on the table. Hahahahaha.
EM: Shut up. 
BC: Look, Momma! Smellie is so fat, her rear end looks like an elephant!

EM: Haha.
The Boy: Wouldn't that make her an Ellie-phant?
BC: You're not funny.
MK: That was a little funny.
BC: Maybe just a teeny tiny bit ...
EM: What's YOUR excuse, Bear?
BC: I'm virile ... masculine ... sturdy!
EM: Just because you use your claws and fangs doesn't mean you're any of those! A REAL man doesn't need to beat others up!
BC: FINE! I'm FLUFFY.
EM: For an elephant!
BC: Elephants aren't fluffy! BOO-YAH! You lose ...
EM: Your backside makes a better elephant than mine!

BC: I'm not an elephant ... YOU'RE an elephant!
The Boy: Ellie-phant.
BC: ZIP IT! It wasn't funny enough to repeat.
The Boy: Well, I thought ...
BC: Did I ASK what you thought?! Though I must admit that I'm surprised you think.
The Boy: HEY! I could say the same about you!
BC: NO. I think with my claws and fangs.
EM: And I'm cute!
BC: That's debatable. Maybe for a barn.
EM: HEY! Being cute is my meal ticket! Without being cute, I'd be SCREWED, like you!
BC: HEY! Everyone says I'm adorable!
EM: When you're asleep ... which doesn't count!
BC: {seeing something he's never seen before} Wait a ... what's THIS?!?!
EM: Our new carrier ...
BC: SHHHHH! Can't you see I'm busy?!
{Pause as Bear walks around the new item}

BC: WHOA! It's a spaceship!
MK: Ummm ... not EXACTLY.
BC: You finally got me a spaceship! My VERY OWN NEW spaceship.
MK: Not exactly ...
BC: My very own USED spaceship?
MK: Not exactly ...
BC: {GASP} You stole it from Gary and Larry! They're here! I KNEW it! 
EM: Daddy's been here forever! Even you couldn't miss that!
BC: What are you talking about?
EM: Daddy's name is Larry and you said he and Gary are here.
BC: NO! They're aliens!
EM: Daddy's an alien?
BC: I wonder why they're here ... to abduct me and mine my vast intellect? To explore? Hmmmm. Wait a ... how did my banana get in here?!?! {GASP} Gary and Larry are trying to steal my catnip banana!

{Pause as Bear climbs inside the "spaceship"}
BC: Beam me up ... RATS! Who am I supposed to tell to beam me up?

EM: I thought you wanted to lift off in the spaceship. Being beamed up is different.
BC: {climbing out of the "spaceship" to square off with Ellie} Guys don't like know-it-alls! 
{Pause}
EM: Only because they feel threatened in their ignorance.
BC: Shut up! I deserve the proper respect! {AHEM}

{Pause}
BC: {to the tune of "Rocket Man" by Elton John}
I packed my bag last night pre-flight.
I gave you all goodbye bites.
My engines are ready to ignite. Stand back ...
{Pause}
BC: I won't miss earth a bit; Ellie or The Boy.
In space, I'll be the king,
Finally spread my wings.
{Pause}
BC: And I think it's gonna be a long long time,
'Til I'm back, they'll miss me ... on my return,
They'll see I'm much more than they think at home.
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm a rocket cat.
Rocket cat shooting across space all night.
{Pause}
BC: And I think it's gonna be a long long time,
'Til I'm back, they'll miss me ... on my return,
They'll see I'm much more than they think at home.
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm a rocket cat.
Rocket cat shooting across space all night.
{Pause}
BC: Earth isn't up to a feline's standards.
We're always screwed no doubt,
And so often we are outright slandered.
{Pause}
BC: Lack of proper respect quickly gets old,
Catting is my job, I'm not bold.
A rocket cat, a rocket cat.
{Pause}
BC: And I think it's gonna be a long long time,
'Til I'm back, they'll miss me ... on my return,
They'll see I'm much more than they think at home.
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm a rocket cat.
Rocket cat shooting across space all night.
EM: Good riddance! I hope the rocket slams on your butt! OH! Make sure you leave my banana!
{Pause as Bear climbs back inside the "spaceship"}
BC: I dispute that it's yours ... but what do I need a stupid banana for? HERE!
{Bear tosses the catnip banana out of the "spaceship" and it hits Ellie on the head}
EM: {getting up} HEY!

BC: {with irritation} Quiet in the flea-butt gallery!
EM: The term is "PEANUT" gallery, stupid!
BC: I think you're more a flea-butt than a peanut ... but just to be safe ... quiet in the DWEEBLE gallery! And I'm not stupid! YOU'RE stupid! I mean, you follow The Boy around and suck up to him all the time!

EM: I've seen you on The Boy's lap a time or two ...
BC: {changing the subject} I don't think my bag will fit ... and where do I put my cat tree?! Gary and Larry must be tiny aliens! 

{Pause}
BC: Time to go over my list of required supplies. Wet food ... CHECK! Treats ... CHECK. Mousie ... CHECK! Catnip banana ... NOPE. 
EM: How are you going to open the bag of treats or the cans of food?
BC: Ummmm ... err ... RATS!
{Bear throws the cans of food and bag of treats out of the "spaceship."}
EM: OWWWW! Stop throwing things at me!
BC: Phht. It's not MY fault you make such a huge target!
EM: HEY!
BC: Bye, Smellie Mae!!! I'm ready for lift-off! 
EM: Finally!
BC: Hmmm ... I'm getting a bit sleepy ... it can't really hurt to take a short nap first, right? I mean, bad-a$$ adventurers and explorers rest up for their expeditions. Hmmm ... this is pretty comfy for a spaceship ... SLEEEEEEPY ...

EM: That's because it's NOT a spaceship, dumbo!
BC: I hear that! What else would it be?
EM: The new carrier Momma won! She calls it a "mobile pet bed" ... but who is she fooling?!?
BC: Carrier?!?! Like, "I'm taking you to the vet" kind of carrier?

EM: YES!
BC: Well, why didn't you say that before?!?!?
EM: I DID! You told me to shut up!
BC: I'm getting out of here! Better not take any chances ...
{Bear walks over to the bed Ellie's laying on}
BC: MOVE! This is my bed!
EM: HEY! Where am I supposed to sleep?!?
{Bear plops down on the other cat bed}
BC: I'm tired. It's nap time. Hold my calls ...

EM: Wait a ... that's MY ... oh, NUTS!
{Ellie climbs on the love seat to nap}
EM: Hmmm ... like it's MY fault he didn't listen! This isn't NEARLY as comfortable as ... And who does he think he is ANYWAY?!?! He thinks he can take whatever he wants whenever he ...
{Loud snoring is heard}
EM: I can't sleep with that racket! Momma?!? We need a spaceship!!! Or a bulldozer!

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46 comments

  1. The WhiskerattiFebruary 20, 2018 at 2:36 AM

    Now that's a nice prize! And we luff the color. Mom would luff to win one of those someday.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Brian's Home BlogFebruary 20, 2018 at 6:32 AM

    That really is a cool win! Hey you two, we totally think you'll win the space race!

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownFebruary 20, 2018 at 6:35 AM

    Hey, you guys do look like elephants from behind! That is a pretty cool not-a-spaceship. What a prize! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat (Katherine Kern)February 20, 2018 at 4:52 PM

      Momma's been stalking SleepyPod give-aways for YEARS! We FINALLY got lucky!

      Delete
  4. Lola The Rescued CatFebruary 20, 2018 at 10:16 AM

    Ellie, is that what all girl cats have to put up with if they have a brother? Are all boys a pain in the rump? MOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat (Katherine Kern)February 20, 2018 at 4:53 PM

      YES! They are! I wish we DID have a space ship so we could send all the boys to space! ~Ellie Mae

      Delete
  5. Eastside CatsFebruary 20, 2018 at 10:38 AM

    Sleepy Pods do look like spaceships, you've got a point there, Bear! Royal Purple is a gorgeous color!

    ReplyDelete
  6. edieFebruary 20, 2018 at 10:40 AM

    Wow, I didn't realize Sleepypods were elephant sized. That's a cool prize. Maybe your Mom will win a spaceship in the next contest she enters.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat (Katherine Kern)February 20, 2018 at 4:50 PM

      Hahahaha. We all busted out laughing at your comment :) They SHOULD make elephant-sized SleepyPods!

      Delete
  7. da tabbies o trout towneFebruary 20, 2018 at 11:13 AM

    dood....furst up; happee bee lated birthday two ewe N heerz ta 900 mor anda
    yeer a head filled with happeez N health ~~~~~~ thurd.....BC and EL...that
    IZ a spaceship.....honest ta cod.....if any one noez modez oh craft...itz knot
    uz but we still R bettin 18 centz anda sack oh friez....thatz a space ship !!
    conga ratz on de win !! ☺☺♥♥

    ReplyDelete
  8. Erin the Cat PrincessFebruary 20, 2018 at 11:45 AM

    I have one of those sleepy pods materialise in the room a couple of weeks back, they are awesome. Mine is pink and is great fun to chase things around and through.Maybe yours came with a Tesla in the nose section, now that would be really cool! Now so far as I can tell though they are designed for one cat, solo missions so best make sure you pack only dehydrated tasty chickens and treats!
    doodle pips and purrs
    ERin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat (Katherine Kern)February 20, 2018 at 4:49 PM

      You won't believe it, Erin! I left to get some noms last night and I came back and ELLIE was in MY spaceship! I was so tempted to hit the rockets! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  9. My Mind's EyeFebruary 20, 2018 at 3:44 PM

    Originally my first comment was going to be no that photo doesn't make your tail look big Ellie Mae thenOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY CATS..............DID YOU HEAR A THUNDEROUS ROAR...THAT WAS MOM SHE 'BOUT FELL OUT OF HER CHAIR AT THE 'enhancement' photos. Your mom is way too clever and you might need to take her pen away.
    Hugs madi your bfff

    ReplyDelete
  10. Memories of Eric and FlynnFebruary 20, 2018 at 4:36 PM

    That is a great colour for a spaceship, Bear. I think you need to batten down the hatches before you get lift off though.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Annie BearFebruary 20, 2018 at 5:24 PM

    SleepyPods looks so awesome. Congrats on the win! We adore Ellie Mae, but that elephant drawing was so funny! Bear you look cute in the SleepyPod, especially with your head resting on the rim. Ellie, have you had a chance to try it yet?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat (Katherine Kern)February 20, 2018 at 11:45 PM

      Thank you! Momma's been stalking SleepyPod give-aways for YEARS!
      Yes. Bear took a food break last night and he came back to find me sound asleep! Hehehehehe. ~Ellie Mae

      Delete
  12. Melissa, Mudpie and Angel Truffles (Mochas, Mysteries and Meows)February 20, 2018 at 5:27 PM

    "Ellie-phant"...we must admit, that is pretty funny, and so are your pictures! We're *so* jealous that you won a purple SleepyPod!!! Does this mean you're going to come visit me, Bear? --Mudpie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat (Katherine Kern)February 20, 2018 at 11:46 PM

      Momma's been stalking SleepyPod give-aways for YEARS! YEEEESSS! We're coming to visit! I don't know that purple is manly ... but it is a pretty color! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  13. Jan KFebruary 20, 2018 at 6:12 PM

    Whoa, Bear, that was close! Good thing you got out of there when you did, we don't want to think about where you might really have ended up!
    Ellie-phant.....hee hee, come on, Bear, you have to give the boy some credit for that one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat (Katherine Kern)February 20, 2018 at 11:49 PM

      I almost died! Though I'll give The Boy credit over my dead body ... so you know. ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  14. pilch92February 20, 2018 at 6:22 PM

    Congrats on winning the sleepy pod. Now, that was not nice to draw an elephant on Ellie's butt and tail. Poor girl. XO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat (Katherine Kern)February 20, 2018 at 11:46 PM

      Thank you! Momma's been stalking SleepyPod give-aways for YEARS! She did the same to me! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  15. AnonymousFebruary 20, 2018 at 7:15 PM

    This looks like so much fun! We hope it is televised when you do, so we can watch and cheer! Woo-hoo! Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat (Katherine Kern)February 20, 2018 at 11:47 PM

      Oooooh! Maybe I can be a tasty whole chicken farmer in space! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  16. The Island CatsFebruary 20, 2018 at 8:51 PM

    Hey we got one of those purple things. We didn’t know it was a spaceship. We gotta go for a flight!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Kitties BlueFebruary 20, 2018 at 9:09 PM

    Ellie Mae, we hate to confirm it, but your butt does look like an elephant. Wow a purple SleepyPod...what a great thing to win. We keep our SleepyPods out all the time and use them as beds. They're great. XOCK, angel Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, Cooper Murphy and Sawyer

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat (Katherine Kern)February 20, 2018 at 11:50 PM

      Bear's looks more like an elephant than mine!!! Momma's been stalking SleepyPod give-aways for YEARS - and the purple is a beautiful color. Momma's going to leave ours out all the time too! ~Ellie Mae

      Delete
  18. Three Chatty CatsFebruary 21, 2018 at 9:52 AM

    Wow, that is so awesome that your momma won the sleepy pod!!! We really want one of those. And you two make the cutest, fluffiest elephants! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Tails Around the RanchFebruary 21, 2018 at 3:34 PM

    What a groovy cat pod! Love the purple color, too.

    ReplyDelete
  20. The Daily Pip February 21, 2018 at 5:07 PM

    Bawahahahhahahaa ...I don't think I will ever look at my feline sister Rosie's butt the same way again. Her tail is a bit shorter than yours, but she definitely has the elephant thing going on, too.

    That's a very nice purple space ship!

    ReplyDelete
  21. The Swiss CatsFebruary 22, 2018 at 2:18 AM

    Your elephant butts crack us up ! What a pawsome prize ! We're dreaming of a SleepyPod (or rather, Claire is dreaming of it) ! Purrs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat (Katherine Kern)February 23, 2018 at 5:46 PM

      Momma's been stalking SleepyPod giveaways for years ... you should've seen when she found out she won ... on second thought, never mind. It will just embarrass me! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  22. ValentineFebruary 22, 2018 at 11:53 AM

    That new spaceship of yours Bear is out of this world and the regal purple surely means that you must be a space god! Wow now you can fly yours alongside Manna & Dexter and go where no cats have ever gone before... to explore new worlds... to find planetary delectables! I'm so excited for you! Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Deziz WorldFebruary 22, 2018 at 7:59 PM

    Oh MeOW ConCats bear and Ellie on your new carrier. We've been tryin' to win one of those fur years now. MOL We luv the purrple, that's so our color. Bet ya'll are gonna look great in it too. Does that mean some kitty's comin' to BlogPaws? Anyways, have fun. Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat (Katherine Kern)February 23, 2018 at 5:48 PM

      Momma's been stalking SleepyPod giveaways for years too ... you should've seen when she found out she won ... on second thought, never mind. It will just embarrass me! I don't think Ellie or I are up to the Conference ... we're just going to be stylin' in comfort on our way to the vet. ~Bear Cat

      Delete

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