EM: Body of Ellie Mae {personality of Bear}
MK: Momma Kat
With cameos by ...
Amarula from Hairballs & Hissyfits.
Mooshka Anderson, friend and reader from Facebook.
Bam Bam Bourgeois, friend and reader from Facebook.
EM: Torties?!? Gingers! Keep dancing! NO! Come baaa ... my paws are lonely!
{Pause}
EM: WHA? Cluck clu ... Huh?! My mouth ALMOST there ... come to ...
{Pause}
EM: Prepare the chicken cannon! And fire the bazooka!
{Pause}
EM: Where did my girls go?!? {looking one way and then another} Awwww ... NUTS! I'm awake.
{Pause}
EM: The only bad thing about dreaming of torties and tasty whole chickens is the moment you wake up and realize it was just a dream. I'm back to being tortie-less and tasty whole chicken-less. Only one thing will make me feel better ...
{Meanwhile on the other side of the room}
BC: {dreaming} Tuna ... boxes ... Bam Bam ... CHEEEEEESE!!!
{Pause}
BC: I'm in Daddy's lap ... BESTEST ... EVER ... oooooh ...
{"Ellie"/personality of Bear screams}
EM: WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?!?! I'm ... I'm ... TOO sexy ... my hard-earned stripes ... and now I'm ... a black cat!!!
{Pause}
EM: Wait a ... I've always LONGED to be a black cat ...
{Pause}
EM: Huh. COOL! My dream came ... wait a ... I look like ...
{"Bear"/personality of Ellie screams}
BC: I HAVE STRIPES!!!!! I look like an escaped convict!
{"Ellie" runs toward "Bear" ...}
EM: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
BC: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
EM: YOU!
BC: YOU!
EM: Why do I look like you?!?!
BC: Why do you look like me? Holy CRAP! I'm fat!
EM: HEY! Watch it! That's MY body! SEXY doesn't even begin to describe it. But hold on a ...
{Pause}
EM: {GASP} I'm a GIRL!!!! I can't be a GIRL! A girl is ... is ... emotional and weepy and never shuts up!!!
BC: Momma's a girl!
EM: EXACTLY.
BC: You think THAT'S bad?!?! I'm a gross BOY! Boys fart and burp and are just plain gross!
EM: As a girl, I'll never make sense again!
BC: I hate to break it to you, but you never make sense as yourself.
{Pause}
EM: Wait a ... I can finally really be a princess! This is THE BEST DAY EVER! No more Bear Cat! Call me Princess Buttercup Black Bear Cat of the Forest. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!
BC: Oh, nonononono. I'm taking my tiny, sleek, premium fancy grade A+++ black-furred, female body back. I hate stripes! They make your butt look big.
EM: MOTHER CLUCKER! Now it's YOUR butt. There's nothing wrong with stripes! I wore stripes for ELEVEN YEARS!
BC: But you prefer to be a black girl. Which kind of proves my point. You don't want to change back!
EM: Not because there's anything WRONG with being striped!
BC: {GASP} MY TAIL!!!! My tail's ... short! And ... and ... thin! I want my black bushy beauty back!
EM: That's just about enough of you making fun of me and insulting my ... err ... your ... err ... {sigh} appearance!
BC: {reaching out to whap body of Ellie Mae, personality of Bear} TAIL!!!!
EM: HEY! Keep your paws off my beautiful tail!
BC: @#$% MY TAIL! I can't attack your tail because it's really MY tail! What am I going to do all day?!?
EM: This just keeps getting better and better! Hmmm. I'm hungry.
BC: You better not screw up my svelte figure! Keep your paws out of the food bowl!
EM: HEY! The vet said you were getting plump! I'm not the only one not missing meals around here!
BC: Hmmm .... Bear's food bowl.
EM: Ellie's food ... nomnomnomnomnomnom ...
BC: HEY! THAT'S ENOUGH FATSO!!! You're just BORROWING that body!
MK: Holy crap. I never thought I'd see the day Ellie ate out of her own food bowl and Bear ate out of his.
EM: I'm BEAR!
BC: I'm Ellie!
MK: WHAT?!?! This isn't funny, you two.
BC: It's FREAKY!
EM: All my dreams came true! I can finally be a black cat AND a princess!
BC: Don't get too attached to MY body!
EM: Not my circus ... not my tasty whole chickens.
MK: You mean, "not my monkeys."
EM: No. Not my tasty whole chickens.
MK: Circuses don't have chickens.
EM: Chicken circuses do.
MK: I've never heard of a chicken circus.
EM: Phht. Oh, YEAH. Just because YOU haven't heard something or know about it means it must not really exist!
MK: No kidding. The personality of Bear IS in Ellie's body. If it's nonsense, it's Bear.
EM: I HATE YOU!
BC: I love you, Momma!
EM: Oh, shut up, you suck up!
MK: Ellie ... I mean Bear ... oh hell! Whoever you are! Leave you sister ... err ... brother ... err ..., whoever the other cat is, ALONE!
EM: She's ruining EVERYTHING! She'll jump in boxes and eat cheese and do other ... err ... CAT STUFF - which I carefully refrained from to prove I'm my own cat.
BC: You must not be talking about me, because I'm a boy. Nah nah.
The Boy: {walking into the room and picking "Ellie" up} How's Daddy's little girl?
EM: I'M THE SHARK!!!!!!!!!!!
The Boy: OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
BC: Over here, Daddy! Pet me! Pet me! You're the BEST THING EVER!!!
EM: HEY! While you're in my body, can't you manage to not embarrass us both?
The Boy: What are they talking about?
EM: {CHOMP}.
The Boy: Son of a ... what the HELL is going on around here?!? Why do you look like Ellie but act like Bear?!? And why does Bear all of a sudden think I'm the best thing ever?
EM: ELLIE!!
BC: I'm not Ellie. YOU'RE Ellie!
EM: Am not!
BC: Are too!
MK: Cuddles?
BC: YES!
EM: BARF.
The Boy: Am I still aslee ...
EM: {CHOMP}.
The Boy: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
EM: You're welcome.
The Boy: Bear?
EM: His ... err ... HER regal-ness, Princess Buttercup, in the flesh! What would you like to do for me?
The Boy: This Bear might be even more obnoxious than the other one.
EM: HEY! I'll have you know that Bear 1.0 is THE MOST obnoxious cat in the universe.
The Boy: You can say that again!
EM: Bear 1.0 is THE MOST obnoxious cat in the universe.
The Boy: Stupidity and obnoxiousness ... the most dangerous combination.
EM: Don't forget that I bite too!
{"Bear," The Boy, and Momma all say, "How could we forget?" at the same time}
EM: A little nip here and there never hurt anyone.
{Silence}
EM: WHAT?!? WHAT?
BC: YOU!?!? A LITTLE nip?!?
EM: Like YOU don't like nip!
BC: CATnip. Not teeth nip.
EM: When a cat nips, that's catnip. CAT. NIP. your legs.
BC: Does he ever listen to himself?
EM: HER-self. I'm a princess now. And I don't have to make sense because I'm a girl.
MK: You're also REALLY grounded.
BC: HEY! If we switch back, I don't want to pay for his crimes.
EM: We're never switching! I'm a princess and a black cat!
BC: Oh, we're switching alright. Even if I have to beat it out of you!
EM: I don't get why you're so upset! I didn't do anything! I'm just a cute, little ...
BC: @#$%!
EM: Well, that's not very lady-like.
BC: I'm not a lady at the moment.
EM: RATS!
Confused?!? SO ARE WE!! ... TO BE CONTINUED NEXT [FREAKY] FRIDAY ...
Featured posts:
BC: @#$% MY TAIL! I can't attack your tail because it's really MY tail! What am I going to do all day?!?
EM: This just keeps getting better and better! Hmmm. I'm hungry.
BC: You better not screw up my svelte figure! Keep your paws out of the food bowl!
EM: HEY! The vet said you were getting plump! I'm not the only one not missing meals around here!
BC: Hmmm .... Bear's food bowl.
EM: Ellie's food ... nomnomnomnomnomnom ...
BC: HEY! THAT'S ENOUGH FATSO!!! You're just BORROWING that body!
MK: Holy crap. I never thought I'd see the day Ellie ate out of her own food bowl and Bear ate out of his.
EM: I'm BEAR!
BC: I'm Ellie!
MK: WHAT?!?! This isn't funny, you two.
BC: It's FREAKY!
EM: All my dreams came true! I can finally be a black cat AND a princess!
BC: Don't get too attached to MY body!
EM: Not my circus ... not my tasty whole chickens.
MK: You mean, "not my monkeys."
EM: No. Not my tasty whole chickens.
MK: Circuses don't have chickens.
EM: Chicken circuses do.
MK: I've never heard of a chicken circus.
EM: Phht. Oh, YEAH. Just because YOU haven't heard something or know about it means it must not really exist!
MK: No kidding. The personality of Bear IS in Ellie's body. If it's nonsense, it's Bear.
EM: I HATE YOU!
BC: I love you, Momma!
EM: Oh, shut up, you suck up!
MK: Ellie ... I mean Bear ... oh hell! Whoever you are! Leave you sister ... err ... brother ... err ..., whoever the other cat is, ALONE!
EM: She's ruining EVERYTHING! She'll jump in boxes and eat cheese and do other ... err ... CAT STUFF - which I carefully refrained from to prove I'm my own cat.
BC: You must not be talking about me, because I'm a boy. Nah nah.
The Boy: {walking into the room and picking "Ellie" up} How's Daddy's little girl?
EM: I'M THE SHARK!!!!!!!!!!!
The Boy: OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
BC: Over here, Daddy! Pet me! Pet me! You're the BEST THING EVER!!!
EM: HEY! While you're in my body, can't you manage to not embarrass us both?
The Boy: What are they talking about?
EM: {CHOMP}.
The Boy: Son of a ... what the HELL is going on around here?!? Why do you look like Ellie but act like Bear?!? And why does Bear all of a sudden think I'm the best thing ever?
EM: ELLIE!!
BC: I'm not Ellie. YOU'RE Ellie!
EM: Am not!
BC: Are too!
MK: Cuddles?
BC: YES!
EM: BARF.
The Boy: Am I still aslee ...
EM: {CHOMP}.
The Boy: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
EM: You're welcome.
The Boy: Bear?
EM: His ... err ... HER regal-ness, Princess Buttercup, in the flesh! What would you like to do for me?
The Boy: This Bear might be even more obnoxious than the other one.
EM: HEY! I'll have you know that Bear 1.0 is THE MOST obnoxious cat in the universe.
The Boy: You can say that again!
EM: Bear 1.0 is THE MOST obnoxious cat in the universe.
The Boy: Stupidity and obnoxiousness ... the most dangerous combination.
EM: Don't forget that I bite too!
{"Bear," The Boy, and Momma all say, "How could we forget?" at the same time}
EM: A little nip here and there never hurt anyone.
{Silence}
EM: WHAT?!? WHAT?
BC: YOU!?!? A LITTLE nip?!?
EM: Like YOU don't like nip!
BC: CATnip. Not teeth nip.
EM: When a cat nips, that's catnip. CAT. NIP. your legs.
BC: Does he ever listen to himself?
EM: HER-self. I'm a princess now. And I don't have to make sense because I'm a girl.
MK: You're also REALLY grounded.
BC: HEY! If we switch back, I don't want to pay for his crimes.
EM: We're never switching! I'm a princess and a black cat!
BC: Oh, we're switching alright. Even if I have to beat it out of you!
EM: I don't get why you're so upset! I didn't do anything! I'm just a cute, little ...
BC: @#$%!
EM: Well, that's not very lady-like.
BC: I'm not a lady at the moment.
EM: RATS!
Confused?!? SO ARE WE!! ... TO BE CONTINUED NEXT [FREAKY] FRIDAY ...
Featured posts:
- Did you miss Bear's "I'm too sexy," song? Kitty Diva or Pop "Tart?"
- You may read more about Princess Buttercup in "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 22 ("On tiaras," part 1 and part 2).
- Bear expressed his desire to be a black cat in:
- "On Bear's dreams of attaining black cat status" from "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 12.
- What Your Cats Are Really Saying - To Each Other.
- Bear Cat gets a sister.
- What's "I'm the shark?"
- You may find Bear's game of, "I'm the shark," explained in ... I'm the shark and The chicken.
- Since that time, The Boy has borne the brunt of Bear "THE JAWS" Cat ... Bear Cat originals and No Boys Allowed!
- For more about Ellie Mae and her interactions with Bear:
- Ellie first appeared in: I'm the sea mammal.
- Ellie Mae: In pictures!
- Lessons learned from my {big} brother.
- Bear Cat gets a sister.
- Chaos loves company.
- Growing pains.
- About Ellie.
- Get me legal!
- Always something, Always something, part 2, and Always something, part 3.
- Boys are gross.
- We didn't do it, part 1 [pictures]}, We didn't do it, part 2 [interpretation], and We didn't do it, part 3 [interpretation].
- Momma-fication.
- Fairness and a Copy {Bear} Cat.
- Mr. Know-it-all.
Oh noes! What dastardly deed is this?!?
ReplyDeleteI blame it on Ellie! {The real Ellie ...} ~Bear Cat
Deletedreemin oh tuna az yur self ore yur knot yur self izza total lee awesum
ReplyDeletething; dreemin oh chckn; hole ore sliced noe matter who ewe iz....iz
like de werst kinda nite mare ever... sew be glad ya waked up bear/em
em/bear !!!!!! ♥♥
I agree! Bear Cat has little taste ... except when it comes to ladies. Check out those babes! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteThis feline Freaky Friday is sure to be way better than some ol' movie humans could muster up! But now this next week is going to be full of so much suspense while we wait...
ReplyDeleteHopefully Momma will come up with something!
DeleteTHAT would definitely freak me out. So did you ever find out what/how this happened?
ReplyDeleteWe're still working that out ... I blame Ellie though! It's always the little sister! ~Bear Cat
DeleteHa ha!! I was wondering at first why Ellie Mae was dreaming of torties and chickens (PS totally wonderful to use any photo of Amarula ever!--I did send you email-not sure what happened!)-best line ever "As a girl, I'll never make sense again!" I hope EM got to at least see what it is like to pee standing up as a man! AMARULA: Bear! Bear I hope you switch back I love your stripes--and you are perfect the way you are - how dare the vet say you are plump! Do you want me to come over to your house and beat EM out of your body???
ReplyDeleteAnd you could do it too, Amarula! I have great taste in ladies! ~Bear Cat
DeleteOH wow!! This is ... really weird!!
ReplyDeleteEven weirder than Bear usually is!! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteThe rule here is critters can visit as long as they don't eat or breath...pics only or stuffies
ReplyDeleteMOLMOL
Hugs madi your bfff
Why didn't I think of that?? ~Bear Cat
DeleteTOO LATE! ~Ellie Mae
Oh My Cod! It's like living in an alternate universe!!! (Mudpie isn't completely sure that she's comfortable with a ladycat dreaming about her MOL!)
ReplyDeleteDon't worry! Bear will be back better than ever!
DeleteWell, we can vouch for black girlcats. They rock! There is nothing that they can't do. And, though Chloe Jo and Grizelda are total opposites, they both excel at being beautiful, smart, and wonderful.
ReplyDeleteWell said! I never considered adopting a black cat before I fell in love with Ellie. Funny how life has it's way of leading us by the hand for our own betterment :)
DeleteOooh I love it.... I definitely want to see the sequel when the boy gets to be Momma! Just think of all the doughnuts the boy AKA Momma could eat without worrying about the weight... the ideal Weight Watchers remedy!!!!!
ReplyDeleteToodle pip and purrs
ERin
That gives us IDEAS ... The Boy and Momma switching?!? Everyone's in trouble!
DeleteOh my goodness! There's never a dull moment at your place! This really is a Freaky Friday. We look forward to hearing what happens next.
ReplyDeleteI love both those dream pictures, proving you two really did switch bodies.
Thank goodness Bear has good taste! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteI was confused until I remembered the movie, Freaky Friday :)
ReplyDeleteThat was our original title :)
DeleteFreaky Friday indeed. Only thing missing is Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan. Maybe THEY have the whole chicken farm?
ReplyDeleteWe hope our version is better!
DeleteFun post as usual!
ReplyDeleteLove the photos of you two together :)
Purrs xx
Athena and Marie
Thank you. You made us smile :)
DeleteI agree Bear, no more boys. We think there's more to this story. Who were these boys?I had a similar problem until recently Bear, it was more girls though.How many boys are you going to let in there? At least this new boy didn't move in.http://onedaytop.com/september-happy-cat-month/
ReplyDeleteBoys are trouble!!! ~Bear Cat
DeleteYeah, we are so totally confused, we're not sure who's who at da moment. We hope things get straightened out soon. Big hugs fur whoever. MOL
ReplyDeleteLuv ya'
Dezi and Raena
It took Momma ten times longer to write because SHE was confused!
DeleteThat is a Freaky Friday! Bear in Ellies black coat & Ellie in Bear's Tabby coat?! What is happening?! I think the poly-tics in the human world are now messing with the kitty world! Let me know if there is anything I can do. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteAlways bet on black ... right, V?
DeleteBlack cats rule!!!
Oh boy, we can't wait to see how this all plays out. Luckily since we're behind on reading, we can find out right now! :)
ReplyDeleteWe didn't know how we were going to finish it either!
Delete