EM: Ellie Mae
BC: Bear CatMK: Momma Kat
EM: I'm thankful for my Momma.
BC: Who?
EM: My Momma!
BC: The crazy lady who runs around and does weird stuff?
EM: Ummmm ...
BC: The one with the doughnut butt?
EM: Well, I haven't really looked that closely ... I guess so.
BC: She's actually MY Momma.
EM: She's my Momma too!
BC: No, she's not.
EM: YES. She is! She TOLD me she's my Momma and she loves me!
BC: I knew it! She's losing her mind! She must confuse me for you.
{Pause}
BC: Then again ... who in their right mind would confuse me and you?!? Phht. I'm handsome! You're just one color.
EM: I'm thankful for my Momma.
BC: You already said that.
EM: Yeah, well, I mean it!
BC: You have low standards.
EM: She feeds us and scoops our litter boxes and plays with us!
BC: I guess she's good to bite ... I can be thankful for ...
EM: She feeds us and scoops our litter boxes and plays with us!
BC: Phht. The Boy can do all that stuff too ... but he's just a huge pain in the behind.
EM: My Daddy? I LOVE my Daddy!
BC: Barf.
EM: I have the best Daddy EVER!
BC: Barf squared.
{Pause}
BC: Though, I do like biting my Momma.
EM: I don't bite Momma. I love her.
BC: I bite her BECAUSE I love her.
EM: That makes no sense.
BC: What ... did you flunk out of cat school?
EM: This from the cat that's grounded well into his ninth life.
BC: Do I have to explain EVERYTHING to you? Biting IS love!
EM: Is that why you bite The Boy?
BC: {GASP} NO! I don't love him at all. He's just a huge pain in my behind! {Shaking in disgust} Uuuuuhhhh! He has boy-ties, you know!
EM: Didn't you jump on his lap earlier today?
BC: Err ... ummm ... that was an accident.
EM: How do you accidentally jump in someone's lap?
BC: How do you accidentally steal somecat's Momma?
EM: There was no accident! Momma and I were meant to be together!
BC: Are you saying I'm not enough cat for her?!?!
EM: Well, I wasn't actually saying that ... but now that you bring it up ... you DO almost weigh fourteen pounds.
BC: HEY! I'm fourteen pounds of fluff!
EM: And furry fury.
BC: Yes, my claws and fangs are forces to be reckoned with. Don't make me open up my can of ...
EM: Are you always pugnacious?
BC: WHAT?!?! I'm not a PUG! Come here and see my little friends!
EM: Are you always grumpy?
BC: You'd be grumpy too! I'll have you know I've put up with all kinds of nonsense! I put up with singing and dancing and The Boy and THE BOY!!! And grabby hands and doughnut butts and SHARING the desk chair! What more can anyone ask of a cat?
EM: No biting?
BC: What is your obsession with biting? Maybe if you bit more your fixation would stop.
EM: Stop fighting with me!
BC: Then stop fighting with me!
EM: I'm not!
BC: You are!
EM: Never ...
BC: I win.
EM: FINE!
BC: I won.
EM: Momma said you could help me.
BC: Help you be a winner instead of a loser? Phht. Not likely. Unless you start biting and acting like a cat, I can't help you.
EM: I've had enough of your surly attitude.
{Ellie wraps her paws around Bear's neck}
EM: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!
BC: {running away} AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Ellie's killing me! She's killing me! HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLP!!!
{Silence ... Bear looks around}
BC: Where did you go?
EM: I wasn't chasing you.
BC: Why not? If I run, you're supposed to chase me! Am I now not good enough for you to chase?
EM: I just wanted to whack you once so you'd shut up for a minute or two.
BC: I don't shut up just because someone tells me to! In fact, I don't shut up when ANYONE tells me to! I'm my own cat.
EM: {fake snoring} ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
BC: Fine. WHAT?!?!
EM: Momma says she's struggling to give me a voice on our blog. She said yours came easy.
BC: Phht. I'll have you know that "easy" defines me in no way, shape or form! Well, unless you're a tortie or a ginger girl.
EM: Can you help me?
BC: Wait wait wait! This is MY blog, why do YOU need a voice?
EM: It's OURS!
BC: Oh, no. NONONONONONONONONONONONONO HEEEEEEELLLL NO! I'm the star!
EM: Okay.
BC: Okay, what?
EM: Okay. You can be the star.
BC: WHAT?!?! I CAN be the star?!?! Like I need YOUR permission?
EM: No. I just mean you get all grumpy and put out and you act like everything is yours and should be your way. It's all kind of diva-ish. I'm a simple girl. I just like playing and loves.
BC: And being annoying! And sticking your nose where it doesn't belong!
EM: You're the one that keeps SNIFFING me for no reason! Your nose has been ALL UP in my business!
BC: So I'm taking you under my wing and showing you what it means to be a cat?
EM: I'm a perfectly fine cat as I am, thank you very much. Momma just said you could help me find my voice on the blog.
BC: MY blog?
EM: {sigh} YOUR blog.
BC: Alrighty then! Why didn't you say that before?
EM: I did. I said you could be the star. Momma wasn't kidding when she said talking to you is like pulling teeth balanced on a unicycle on a windy day.
BC: I don't have to put up with this abuse. I'm going to my window!
EM: What window?
BC: MY window! In Momma's room.
EM: Is that where you go when you disappear?
BC: RATS!
EM: Fine. I'll ask my Momma to help me.
BC: MY Momma!
EM: I'm going to be the one snuggling with her ... that makes her mine.
{Stunned silence}
BC: {to himself} For a stupid girl, she actually kind of makes sens ... NAH. Who am I kidding?
{Bear climbs in his window and relaxes in the sun}
{Ellie walks out to the family room where Momma's working}
EM: Bear wouldn't help me.
MK: Hi, Precious Princess. Cuddles?
EM: Yes, please.
MK: {holding Ellie in her arms} Maybe we can start with what you like and don't like?
EM: I like Bear's food.
MK: {sigh} Of course.
EM: I love my Momma and my Daddy!
MK: We love you too, Precious Princess. You're a blessing to us both. That first time we met ... when I saw you in the rescue's glass enclosure ... our eyes met and we recognized each other ... and then you danced for me and rubbed up against the glass. I couldn't walk away. I had to ask to hold you.
EM: I like when you and Daddy let me put my front paws on your shoulders so you can rub me from ears to tail.
MK: And you like laying monorail style on your Daddy's leg while he pets you.
EM: And I love your belly rubs!
EM: Daddy says I purr like I'm on batteries!
MK: And you do a little happy dance with your front paws.
EM: I LOVE being rubbed between my shoulder blades ... and ear rubs.
EM: Oooooh yeah! Right ... PUUUUUURRRR ... there ... PURRRRRRRR.
MK: Yet you know how to be goofy too!
EM: And I LOVE boxes!
MK: You're very playful too! You love your toys ... especially the crinkle balls and sparkle balls!
EM: My catnip banana is my favorite! And the turbo track! And the brown crinkly paper!
MK: And you eat just about anything! Since we've been trying new foods, it's kind of obvious how picky Bear can be ... and you don't miss a beat. He doesn't like his? You'll eat his too! But you also like cheese and hot dogs ... you'll eat just about anything.
EM: You call me a garbage disposal!
MK: Except that cheerio your Daddy dropped on the floor.
EM: No. It was tasty, but it was a whole lot more fun to bat around the kitchen floor!
MK: I just can't believe that you beat Bear to the kitchen just about every time.
EM: The early kitty gets the bird. Or something like that.
MK: You are pretty cute.
EM: I like to sleep in the bunched up blanket under the bed.
MK: Daddy and I love the tiny patch of white fur you have on the back of your head. You have a few others - like one on your left front paw. It's literally only a few strands of white ... but it's so unique and adorable!
MK: Daddy and I also love how much you love to talk. You'll chirp merrily along as if we're having a conversation. You also talk when you like that we're touching you.
EM: I like my new family. Even Bear. Well, MOST of the time.
MK: Maybe the best way to describe you is that you're mostly sweet - even your love bites don't include teeth - with just a tinge of impatience for your brother's nonsense.
EM: Occasionally, I have to chase him to remind him who's boss. I put up with a lot from him ... and I'm okay with that ... but every little sister has her limits!
MK: That's okay. He's been terrorizing me and The Boy with his "I'm the shark" game and he's awfully bossy.
EM: That's one word for it.
{Momma and Ellie giggle ...}
BC: {walking into the room} What's so funny?
{Momma and Ellie keep giggling}
BC: What's wrong with you two?
{Momma and Ellie keep giggling}
BC: Great. First I had to deal with Momma giggling with The Boy ... and now you two are giggling! I have NO IDEA what's so funny! If I didn't know better, I'd say you're laughing at me! But I'm as serious as a heart attack!
{Pause}
BC: Ooooooh. You're laughing at The Boy, right?
MK: Sure.
BC: I knew it! He looks pretty ridiculous when he runs away from me when I'm the shark. That Boy provides endless entertainment.
EM: {under her breath} He's not the only one.
BC: And most of the time, he's completely clueless about it too! It's like he doesn't realize I'm laughing at him!
{Momma and Ellie giggle ...}
BC: What's gotten into you two?
{Silence}
BC: WOMEN! Can't understand them, can't make them shut up.
{Momma and Ellie turn to Bear}
BC: Uh oh. Errr ... I hear my real Mom calling ... BYE!!!
Featured posts:
- Bear's complained about Momma's singing and dancing before ... Imitation: the sincerest form of flattery.
- Bear complained about Momma's grabby hands in ... Like this ... and The negotiation.
- To read more about The Boy and Bear's objections to him:
- "The Boy" was introduced in The boy.
- Bear meets "The Boy" in Tom, Dick and Harry and The interview.
- Bear and Momma discuss her relationship with The Boy in Annoying giggliness.
- Trouble in Boy-land was revealed in Less talk-y and more scratch-y.
- A brief reunion in The Boy Returns.
- Bear lays down the law for future boys in Tough love.
- Momma's sadness at the breakup is the topic of FAT CAT RATS.
- Bear tried to help Momma feel better about the break up in Bigger Band-aids.
- More boy sadness ... Evil bunny day, Again, and A Momma's stupidity allowance.
- Bear forbids future boys in Momma's resolutions.
- The Boy comes back in The negotiation.
- Bear and The Boy face off in The cat-ocalypse, This never happened, The Dread Drop, No more boys, Love bites, The Bear Cat household, The Bear Cat household, part 2,The Bear Cat household, part 3, Giggles, Like this ..., Watch duty, The chicken, I'm a cat, The furry ball of contradictions, The man cave, The collar, Get ready to crumble, Bear: The Musical, No Boys Allowed!, Not the {REAL} Momma, Daddy (the OTHER Dodo), A Momma's Boy {mostly}, I did, Not the Momma's Day.
- Bear loves to steal Momma's desk chair ... to read more about the desk chair wars:
- To read about the beginning of the desk chair wars: Chair + Towel + Cat = Tons of Pictures. The pictures aren't up to current standards, but it gives you an idea of the history.
- Another series on the desk chair wars occurs in "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 12 (On the desk chair wars, parts 1-3).
- The most recent updates to the desk chair saga are found in: "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 23 ("On sharing selfishness"), "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 24("On MOO!"), Loud, proud ... and blunt, 1.14876 seconds, What's wrong with this picture?, Iz speako nodo engleeesh, Better in my head, WHEE!, The custody "arrangement," The re-debut, "I do what I want," Share ... NOT in the feline dictionary, NOT a cat, Let's talk reindeer {Bear post}, Cat v. Kat, Momma's resolutions, I'm the shark, and Is that a trick question?
- What are boy-ties?
- What's "I'm the shark?"
- You may find Bear's game of, "I'm the shark," explained in ... I'm the shark and The chicken.
- Since that time, The Boy has borne the brunt of Bear "THE JAWS" Cat ... Bear Cat originals and No Boys Allowed!
Bear, it seems everyone is picking on you. Might be better to try to get along with Ellie. Maybe she isn't so bad. Have a great day.
ReplyDeleteStory of my life! EVERYONE ALWAYS picks on me! And I'm just a cute and innocent boy! ~Bear Cat
DeleteHe couldn't even type that with a straight face! ~Ellie Mae
"Talking to you is like pulling teeth balanced on a unicycle on a windy day.." Ha! You better look out, Bear--sounds like Ellie's got you number. And Real Cat Paisley wants to know, did you really just call torties "easy"???
ReplyDeleteNO! I said I was easy around torties!!! I mean, REALLLY! How can any mancat resist a tortie?! ESPECIALLY Paisley! ~Bear Cat
DeleteI can see why Ellie is confused about all the biting. Biting Momma because you love her but not the Boy? It's a lot to keep up with! I guess she still has a lot to learn, Bear.
ReplyDeleteThe answer to everything is biting! At least in the "Bear Cat method." ~Bear Cat
DeleteEllie, you sure have those snuggles down! It's okay Bear, you are the special Mancat!
ReplyDeleteI've had a lot of practice ;) ~Ellie Mae
Delete"What ... did you flunk out of cat school?" HAH! That's my favorite line. Any cat who's a kiss-up deserves to flunk outta cat school.
ReplyDeleteWe've been meaning to do a post about cat school for YEARS! Maybe my Momma will finally get the kick in the behind she needs! ~Bear Cat
Delete"Barf squared." OMC! Our Mom snorted coffee up her nose over that. Ellie Mae, you are adorable and we love seeing you with your Mama every bit as much as we love seeing you close to BC. We think you two get along just fine, but we'll keep that a secret, okay? Love to you, BC!
ReplyDeleteWe get along ... except when HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!!! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteShe acts like I try to kill her ALL THE TIME. Phht. Just every so often. ~Bear Cat
MOLMOLMOL you two crack us up!! Barf squared was hilarious...and donut butt. OMCS my K9 friend calls his mom's butt an ice cream cemetery.
ReplyDeleteThat could apply to my mom's too
Hugs madi your bfff
I LOVE THAT! Doughnut cemetery?!?! I'm writing that down! We're so glad we can make you laugh ... that's our goal :) ~Bear Cat
DeleteEllie, it seems as if you are finding your "voice" just fine. Your logical and easy ways are going to be a great foul for big, bad Bear. We are so delighted you found a home with such a nice mommy and daddy. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo and Cooper Murphy
ReplyDeleteI am pretty lucky. Well, minus the Bear part. ~Ellie Mae
DeleteHEY! ~Bear Cat
Bear chomps down with everything he's got! I'm a gentle girl though :) ~Ellie Mae
ReplyDeleteI am glad to see you two are sort of co-existing :) You seem to have found your blogging voice Ellie. XO
ReplyDeleteWe co-exist when we want to ... when we don't ... WATCH OUT! ~Bear and Ellie
DeleteBear, I love the photos where you are looking at Ellie in total disbelief!! I also love "did you flunk out of cat school?" OMC BEAR YOU KILL ME! Love, your pal always, Cody
ReplyDeleteThe least she could do is be a proper cat! You're a good friend, Cody, and I appreciate it. ~Bear Cat
DeleteOh, I love seeing the pics of you two lying companionably next to each other. You guys are precious, your conversations with each other, and Ellie, your conversation today with MK.
ReplyDeleteBear, I just saw your comment on my blog (the lady is so slow). I have to admit I was kinda sorta wondering if when you mentioned ginger girls you might have been thinking of me as one of them. I'm so happy!
DeleteYou are a beauty, Annie! Ellie is sweet ... and I'm working on accepting her. ~Bear Cat
DeleteEllie Mae, you are such a cute girl. And that shiny fur!!
ReplyDeleteThank you! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteEllie, you are adorable. And we think you're gonna be some real competition for Bear. :)
ReplyDeleteI think so too. Thank you :) ~Ellie Mae
DeleteAww look at you being so cute and cuddly Ellie <3
ReplyDeleteI've had lots of practice ;) ~Ellie Mae
DeleteAww, Ellie and peep, the true voice comes from the heart and soul..... and a little sprinklin' of the body too. In Bears case maybe a bit more than a sprinkle, but thats not what should define us, nor are actions alone but the truth behind them. I think you have your voice already, and a mighty fine, fun, loving, supporting one it is too, even of your loving brother, Bear. I bet he secretly loves those hugs of yours, Ellie.
ReplyDeletePurrs for you all
ERin
Don't hold your breath about those hugs. She's way more aggressive toward me than she lets on. ~Bear Cat
DeleteHe means I've already handed him his behind on a platter several times today. ~Ellie Mae
Ellie, you have definitely found your place in your home, and on the blog too. You are the perfect foil for Bear and all his antics! Trying to understand him will be a full time job for you!
ReplyDeleteMomma says she hasn't figured him out either ... and she's had him for almost 11 years! BOYS! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteYou are all working it out. Love does that. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteMOST of the time. We still have a bit of an adjustment each morning after the cats have been separated overnight.
DeleteAdorable!
ReplyDeleteI bite my mum too because I love her :)
Purrs xx
Athena
You're in good company, Athena ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteDear Sweet Ellie. Good thing you don't bite. That's not a fun skill to have when you're a mamma. Note to Bear, better stop biting and take notes from your sister. You can catch more whole tasty chickens that way.
ReplyDeleteYour fur-iends,
Sam & Elsa 🐾
You can catch more tasty whole chickens with honey than with vinegar?!? Ugh. That sounded better in my head ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteEllie, we love that your blogging voice is emerging. And so quickly! :)
ReplyDeleteHey, Bear, she does kind of make sense, huh? Scary!
Hugs to you all!
WOMEN! ~Bear Cat
DeleteHey there Ellie, it's RaenaBelle. Don't worry, you'll find your voice. Mommy said she worried 'bout dat too when I's came to live with her and sis Dezi. But, she says mine's purrsonality quickly showed itself and since I's hardly ever stop meowin', chortlin' and chirpin', it wasn't hard at all. Da thing is, your voice isn't da only change dat may occur. See, when I's joined da furmily and upset things 'round here, sis Dezi went thru changes too. And some of those chages meant a change n her purrsonality and voice. Sis Dezi and her sissy, Lexi had been together fur lots of years and were both gettin' older and had lots of luc. They'd already made it thru da gettin' to know each other and stuffs and so they were mostly roses and sunshine. But me and sissy are a whole different story. Don't get me wrong, we get along fine, but we've not been together furever and I's anythin' but old. And sissy was gettin' kind'a comfy it just bein' mommy and her, so, her world got turned upside down. Kind'a like Bear's did. Furst, your mommy moved in the boy, and then took a trip and left him with said boy and not too much after comin' home, she brought you in. Ya' have to know, Bear's dealin' with a lot. A little pawrt of him is purrobably worried dat your mommy is replacin' him. So be a little extra nice to him. Dat bein' said girl, don't let him run over ya'. We gotta keep these oldsters in line ya' know. MOL But don't worry, you'll have a voice in no time. Big hugs
ReplyDeleteLuvs ya'
Raena and Dezi
Thank you, Raena. We hadn't even considered that BEAR might change. It makes perfect sense - but I hadn't thought of that. I mean he's changed in some ways that I have noticed - but I figured it would eventually work itself out. I try to give Bear time just the two of us - but he's never really interested. It's been kind of hard for me too - since he used to sleep with me and spend most of his time near me - and now he's more distant. You are right - we've had a lot of major changes around here - and he might not be as pleased with them as I am :)
DeleteEllie, you are just TOO cute! We love hearing you on the blog. And Bear, trust me, there's plenty of room for two kitties on a blog! I share mine with Lexy. Although she does talk too much sometimes.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Momma says the same thing all the time! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteAMARULA: Barf squared!! I love that expression Bear--I just might have to steal it!
ReplyDeleteGo ahead! One barf for each of your annoying brothers! ~Bear Cat
DeleteLooks like you two have settled right in to being siblings! So glad that you've found each other :)
ReplyDeleteWell, I wouldn't go THAT far ... but it's not so bad. Don't tell anyone I said that! ~Bear Cat
DeleteI really love this post, and the pictures of Ellie under the bed crack me up, especially as she tells Bear off when he hides that way!
ReplyDeletePurrrs
ERin
I'm not actually hiding though! Nope. I'm not scared. I just like taking my naps protected from smell-happy brothers! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteEllie is so pretty, I love black cats!
ReplyDeleteShe is ... I'm head over heels in love with her :)
Delete