BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat
Daily conversation - The Bear Cat household, part 3:
{Momma and The Boy are sitting on the couch}
The Boy: Last night, Bear jumped up on the bed on my side and then WALKED OVER me to get to you. Why didn't he just jump up on YOUR side of the bed? Noooo. He acted like he was going to let me pet him and then made a production of walking over me to YOUR side!
MK: He's a cat. He does that "can't touch this" thing with everyone.
BC: A one and a two and a ... {Bear starts prancing back and forth in the living room} ...
Can't touch this
Can't touch this
Can't touch this
My, my, my, my handsome has me floored
Makes me mew, "Oh my Lord,
Thank you for blessing me
With a superior mind and too much sexy."
To my Momma I'm a present,
A super cool housecat from heaven sent.
And I'm too too much,
I'm a cat that, uh, you can't touch.
The Boy: What the HELL is ...
BC: HCHAAAAACK. CHK CHK HHHHHHHHHCCCCCCCKKK! HEPH-EWEY!!!
{Pause}
BC: HCHAAAAACK. CHK CHK HHHHHHHHHCCCCCCCKKK! HEPH-EWEY!!!
{Pause}
BC: Hehehehehe. That was a good one! Next time, you'll think twice about being late with my wet food treat.
MK: Behind your cat tree? I can't reach back there!
BC: {to The Boy} Watch this!
BC: {to The Boy} Watch this!
MK: {mumbling to herself} I swear. Every time ... barf ... I have to contort myself THROUGH ... cat tree ... tick me OFF!
{Momma reaches in between the platforms of the cat tree ... contorts herself around the posts to reach the spot ...}
The Boy: Hahahahahahaha! All we can see are her legs flailing straight up in the air.
BC: I told you it would be a good show.
The Boy: This is hilarious!
The Boy: This is hilarious!
MK: Ummm ... HELP! I'm stuck!
The Boy: Should I help her?
BC: Up to you. She usually manages to extract herself eventually with or without help. Maybe take a picture first.
MK: I hear you two! Now you're betting each other? That's IT!
BC: I just won five dollars, Momma! FIVE! DOLLARS! I'm rich! Tasty whole chicken farm, here Bear Cat comes!
MK: {upright once again} You BET The Boy I wouldn't get stuck?
BC: Phht. Of course not! I know better. I bet you'd look like an idiot trying to clean up the barf spot.
{Pause}
BC: Uh oh.
{Pause}
BC: Sheesh. These WOMEN. We always have to watch what we say around them.
The Boy: Hahahahahahahaha ... {seeing Momma's face} err ... I love you, honey!
BC: Not now! And I told you I prefer you call me PB as a term of endearment! You know, since my full name is Pooh Bear. No "honey!"
The Boy: I thought your name was Princess Buttercup Black Bear Cat of the Forest?
BC: NOT at your service, my serf.
MK: Oh no. You just HAD to remind him!
BC: Off with their heads!
The Boy: Hahahaha.
BC: Scoop my litter box, peasant!
MK: Don't look at me ... The Boy is the one that called you a Princess.
BC: WHAT?!?! I'm one hundred percent male, jerk face!
The Boy: You're the one that kept telling me to call you Princess.
BC: Phht. A guy can be one hundred percent male and still be a Princess you know! You're just jealous that you can't be both like I can be. It takes a man secure in his masculinity to recognize his inner princess!
The Boy: Well, you're not one hundred percent male ...
BC: Yeah, yeah ... unless you want to find out what it's like, you'll stop rubbing it in.
The Boy: Next thing you know, you'll be asking us if your tiara makes your butt look big.
BC: By the way, DON'T tell Momma her butt is big. I get in A LOT of trouble for that. That woman sure knows how to hog a desk chair. I think her butt is big because of the doughnuts and Kit Kats.
The Boy: Hahahahaha.
MK: Bear, you weigh ten percent of what I do, and you take up over half the chair!
BC: Phht. These women ... never stop talking!
The Boy: Hahahahaha. That's tr ...
MK: Bear!
BC: What?
MK: You know what!
BC: Sheesh. Women. They think we can read their minds. Just spit it out, woman!
The Boy: Hahahaha. Now THAT is fun ...
MK: Oh, REALLY?!?!
The Boy: Ummm ... HE said it, not me!
BC: Nice one ...
The Boy: Thank ...
BC: ... NOT!
MK: Bear, be nice!
BC: Be nice? BE NICE?!?!? Sheesh. You women sure know how to nag a guy to death.
The Boy: Good one! Hehehehehe.
MK: That's it! THESE WOMEN won't be making either of your dinners or snuggling with either of you ... so I suggest you two man up and take care of yourselves.
BC: Feisty! I like that in a woman!
The Boy: SHUT UP!
BC: But not in a boy. Don't tell me to shut up! YOU shut up!
The Boy: We're in enough trouble right now!
BC: You started it!
The Boy: Did not!
BC: {whispering to The Boy} Watch this!
{Pause}
BC: {jumping on Momma's lap} I love you, Momma.
MK: {sigh} I love you too, Bug.
The Boy: Wait a ... THAT'S NOT FAIR!
BC: I have NO IDEA what you're talking about!
The Boy: You're using your cute factor and purrs to get out of the trouble YOU started!
BC: Jealous?
The Boy: No.
{Pause}
The Boy: A little.
{Pause}
The Boy: Yes.
BC: It's not my fault that you aren't cute and you can't purr. Every man for himself.
The Boy: You set me up! You wanted to get your Momma mad at both of us, knowing full well you'd get out of it by purring and being cute!
BC: BOO-YAH! Game. Set. Match. SUCKER! THIS is how fabulous is done!
The Boy: I. HATE. YOU.
BC: HEY! That's my line!
{Pause}
BC: Momma! He stole my line! Make him give it back.
{Pause as Bear looks around}
BC: Where'd she go?
The Boy: I think she went to hide from us ... in the closet. Again.
BC: Does that mean we won?
The Boy: This battle, yes. The war? Never.
Featured posts of the day:The Boy: I thought your name was Princess Buttercup Black Bear Cat of the Forest?
BC: NOT at your service, my serf.
MK: Oh no. You just HAD to remind him!
BC: Off with their heads!
The Boy: Hahahaha.
BC: Scoop my litter box, peasant!
MK: Don't look at me ... The Boy is the one that called you a Princess.
BC: WHAT?!?! I'm one hundred percent male, jerk face!
The Boy: You're the one that kept telling me to call you Princess.
BC: Phht. A guy can be one hundred percent male and still be a Princess you know! You're just jealous that you can't be both like I can be. It takes a man secure in his masculinity to recognize his inner princess!
The Boy: Well, you're not one hundred percent male ...
BC: Yeah, yeah ... unless you want to find out what it's like, you'll stop rubbing it in.
The Boy: Next thing you know, you'll be asking us if your tiara makes your butt look big.
BC: By the way, DON'T tell Momma her butt is big. I get in A LOT of trouble for that. That woman sure knows how to hog a desk chair. I think her butt is big because of the doughnuts and Kit Kats.
The Boy: Hahahahaha.
MK: Bear, you weigh ten percent of what I do, and you take up over half the chair!
BC: Phht. These women ... never stop talking!
The Boy: Hahahahaha. That's tr ...
MK: Bear!
BC: What?
MK: You know what!
BC: Sheesh. Women. They think we can read their minds. Just spit it out, woman!
The Boy: Hahahaha. Now THAT is fun ...
MK: Oh, REALLY?!?!
The Boy: Ummm ... HE said it, not me!
BC: Nice one ...
The Boy: Thank ...
BC: ... NOT!
MK: Bear, be nice!
BC: Be nice? BE NICE?!?!? Sheesh. You women sure know how to nag a guy to death.
The Boy: Good one! Hehehehehe.
MK: That's it! THESE WOMEN won't be making either of your dinners or snuggling with either of you ... so I suggest you two man up and take care of yourselves.
BC: Feisty! I like that in a woman!
The Boy: SHUT UP!
BC: But not in a boy. Don't tell me to shut up! YOU shut up!
The Boy: We're in enough trouble right now!
BC: You started it!
The Boy: Did not!
BC: {whispering to The Boy} Watch this!
{Pause}
BC: {jumping on Momma's lap} I love you, Momma.
MK: {sigh} I love you too, Bug.
The Boy: Wait a ... THAT'S NOT FAIR!
BC: I have NO IDEA what you're talking about!
The Boy: You're using your cute factor and purrs to get out of the trouble YOU started!
BC: Jealous?
The Boy: No.
{Pause}
The Boy: A little.
{Pause}
The Boy: Yes.
BC: It's not my fault that you aren't cute and you can't purr. Every man for himself.
The Boy: You set me up! You wanted to get your Momma mad at both of us, knowing full well you'd get out of it by purring and being cute!
BC: BOO-YAH! Game. Set. Match. SUCKER! THIS is how fabulous is done!
The Boy: I. HATE. YOU.
BC: HEY! That's my line!
{Pause}
BC: Momma! He stole my line! Make him give it back.
{Pause as Bear looks around}
BC: Where'd she go?
The Boy: I think she went to hide from us ... in the closet. Again.
BC: Does that mean we won?
The Boy: This battle, yes. The war? Never.
- The Bear Cat household, part 1.
- The Bear Cat household, part 2.
- Bear's version of,"Can't Touch This," first appeared in ... Bear's adoption application. This is not the first time Bear changed songs to suit him ... Bear's Christmas, Christmas: Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat Style, "On tasty reindeer (part 2 - Christmas day)," from "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 15, Kitty Diva or Pop "Tart?" {The "I'm too sexy" song}, How to get to Bear's food bowl, Bear, While Momma Sleeps, Tiger's Pride, The flea party.
- You may read more about Princess Buttercup in "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 22 ("On tiaras," part 1 and part 2) and Bolt Cathack Returns.
- Bear loves to steal Momma's desk chair ... to read more about the desk chair wars:
- To read about the beginning of the desk chair wars: Chair + Towel + Cat = Tons of Pictures. The pictures aren't up to current standards, but it gives you an idea of the history.
- Another series on the desk chair wars occurs in "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 12 (On the desk chair wars, parts 1-3).
- The most recent updates to the desk chair saga are found in: "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 23 ("On sharing selfishness"), "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 24("On MOO!"), Loud, proud ... and blunt, 1.14876 seconds, What's wrong with this picture?, Iz speako nodo engleeesh, Better in my head, WHEE!, The custody "arrangement," The re-debut, "I do what I want," Share ... NOT in the feline dictionary, NOT a cat, Let's talk reindeer {Bear post}, Cat v. Kat, Momma's resolutions, I'm the shark, and Is that a trick question?
- To read more about The Boy:
- "The Boy" was introduced in The boy.
- Bear meets "The Boy" in Tom, Dick and Harry and The interview.
- Bear and Momma discuss her relationship with The Boy in Annoying giggliness.
- Trouble in Boy-land was revealed in Less talk-y and more scratch-y.
- A brief reunion in The Boy Returns.
- Bear lays down the law for future boys in Tough love.
- Momma's sadness at the breakup is the topic of FAT CAT RATS.
- Bear tried to help Momma feel better about the break up in Bigger Band-aids.
- More boy sadness ... Evil bunny day, Again, and A Momma's stupidity allowance.
- Bear forbids future boys in Momma's resolutions.
- The Boy comes back in The negotiation.
- Bear and The Boy face off in The cat-ocalypse, This never happened, The Dread Drop, No more boys, Love bites, The Bear Cat household, and The Bear Cat household, part 2.
Bear, have you formed an alliance with The Boy?!?
ReplyDeleteTentative and fragile ... we'll see if he can handle it ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteNobody ever wins in a kitteh argument. That was fine work, Princess Bear Cat.
ReplyDeleteThank you! It was easy ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteLOL. Yes, there is a little princess inside many a boy cat and it takes a real man cat to admit that. Looks like you are doing pretty well playing both sides, Bear
ReplyDeleteMy intelligence and cuteness sure help! ~Bear Cat
DeleteCats ALWAYS win!!! That's a fact!!!
ReplyDeleteThe Florida Furkids
True dat! ~Bear Cat
DeleteMOLMOL you have a plunger on your head Bear.
ReplyDeletethat would have been purrfect on Dr. Seuss's bday
Hugs madi you bfff
RATS! You're right! ~Bear Cat
DeleteBear you the Mom and the boy are hysterical. I can see and the Boy forming an alliance.
ReplyDeleteWe're working on it! We still have some details to iron out! ~Bear Cat
DeleteWell Bear, furst and furmost, you shouldn't be teamin' up with the boy against your mommy. It should be da other way 'round. And did you hear him blame everythin' on you? Da shame of it. We told ya' dat was gonna happen. You should be horkin' in da boys underwear, or his desk chair or his shoes or briefcase or whatever else he might wanna keep[ away from ya'. We know there's somethin', there always is. MOL And give him da biter every now and again, just to keep him in line. big hugs
ReplyDeleteLuv ya'
Dezi and Raena
You ladies are right! He should pay for blaming me for everything! I'm just a sweet and innocent kitty cat! Whew! I can barely say that with a straight face! I'm cooking up a special surprise for The Boy ... ~Bear Cat
DeleteDid MK return and make your dinner? We think ganging up on her is not a good idea. She could easily throw both of you out! XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo and Cooper Murphy
ReplyDeleteYes, you're right. And I think she likes it that way! But that doesn't mean we can't give her a hard time now and then! ~Bear Cat
DeleteAs if you ever AREN'T in trouble! Sheesh. It seems impossible that one dude could ever get in as much trouble as this one finds! And I'm just a sweet and innocent kitty cat. Whew! That was hard to get out with a straight face ;) ~Bear Cat
ReplyDeleteHmm, an alliance with the evil 'he made my mom cry' boy? That boy?? Bear...who put what into your chicken to cause this? Call the FDA!
ReplyDeleteMy chicken?!?! Someone tampered with my chicken?!?! You just don't mess with a bro's chicken! ~Bear Cat
DeleteI like that jumping on the bed thing Bear. Sometimes Brother Simon jumps on Dad's tummy like it's a trampoline!
ReplyDeleteI do that too! It's too fun! Especially when I land on Momma's face with my butt :) ~Bear Cat
DeleteJust let that boy know who's boss, Bear. When Mommy was young she had a cat named Marvin. When she brought a boy home he would sit and stare them down. They had to have his approval.
ReplyDeleteThe strong silent type! I DIG it! I tried that for a few minutes but I got bored ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteCan it be true Bear, are you starting to like the boy a little bit?
ReplyDelete"Like" is too strong a word ... we're still in testing mode. ~Bear Cat
DeleteUh oh! You boys are teaming up against Momma Kat. You better watch out. You've heard about paybacks, right????
ReplyDeleteHehehehehe. The potential for paybacks sucks infinitely more for The Boy. I'll get my food and loves no matter what! ~Bear Cat
DeleteBear Amarula wants to know if when you do the "You can touch this maneuver" if you also do the dance (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otCpCn0l4Wo) ??
ReplyDeleteI have moves that can't be discussed on this PG rated blog ... err ... yeah. ~Bear Cat
DeleteLooks like you boys are starting to get along! Will it last long?
ReplyDeleteOne word ... fragile ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteHehehe we laughed out loud reading about the barf behind the cat tree! It always does happen in the most hard-to-reach places!
ReplyDeleteConCATulations on being nominated for a Nose-to-Nose Award, by the way!!! Woohoo!!!
Thank you! And yes, Bear is always betting against Momma ;)
DeleteHeard you're a Nose-to-Nose award finalist! How fantastic! Congratulations ~Rascal and Rocco
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteUh-oh, I think the boys are bonding, and at Momma's expense! It was bound to happen....because, boys will be boys! :)
ReplyDeleteJan & the crew at Wag 'n Woof Pets
Boys will be TROUBLE ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteYou boyz are definitely forming a bond :)
ReplyDeleteDon't tell Momma! ~Bear Cat
DeleteYAYAYAYAAYYY NOMINEE NOMINEE WOOOHOOOOO
ReplyDelete* runs away fast giggling *
Silver........
Thank you! Double congratulations to you!
Delete"Up to you. She usually manages to extract herself eventually with or without help. Maybe take a picture first." Oh my mouses, that's funny. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
ReplyDeletePurrs,
Seville
I knew you would understand, Seville! These Peeps! Sheesh! ~Bear Cat
DeleteCONGRATULATIONS!!! Congratulations on your bein' a finalist in the Nose-to-Nose Awards. purrs
ReplyDeleteThank you! Congratulations to you!
DeleteMOWZERS! Concatulations Bear (and to the momma too :-D ) we're sooo happy you are a finalist!
ReplyDeleteAnd Faraday sez DUH - the FLorida Furkids are right - CATS ROOL!
OBVIOUSLY! ~Bear Cat
Delete