MK: Momma Kat
Mr. Heckle:
BC: Wakey, wakey, Momma! Time to get up!!!! HELLLLLLLLLOOO!
MK: Ehhhh ... Beeeeeeeaaaaaar!
BC: MooooommmmmmmmmMMMA!!! Wakey, wakey!! Time to get up!! It's an EMERGENCY!!! My wet food treat time is in three hours and if you don't get up now, my treat will be LATE! You don't want me to STARVE, do you?
MK: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
MK: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
BC: Momma! MOMMA! MoooooooommmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMA!!!!
MK: BEAR! STOP CLAWING MY FACE!
BC: If I don't claw your face, you'll go back to sleep! I need to hold your eyes open!
MK: BEAR! That HURTS!
BC: So does getting my wet food treat late!
MK: {pulling the covers up over her head} {muffled} GO!!! AWAY!!!!
BC: Uh oh! MommmmmmMMMMMMA! MOMMA! Don't worry! I know you're under there! Don't panic, I'll RESCUE you and dig you out!
MK: {muffled} I don't require rescuing!
BC: The covers are trying to suffocate you!!! I'll get you out!!!! ASSAP! Don't worry! Hold on, Momma!
MK: {muffled} ASS-AP is oddly appropriate. Or ASS-CAT!
BC: I meant AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!
MK: {muffled} {sigh} I know, Bear. That's ASAP not ASSAP.
BC: {pawing at the covers} I'm digging! Don't panic, Momma! BREATHE! BREATHE!
MK: {muffled} I AM breathing, Bear!
BC: No. I was telling MYSELF to breathe. MY WET FOOD TREAT IS IN THREE HOURS, and you might be dead by then!!! Why do these horrible things always happen to me? At least I was here to see you go under!
MK: {muffled} GO!!! AWAY!!!
BC: {pawing at the covers} Don't worry, Momma! I'm going to rescue you! I won't leave you here to die at the hands ... err ... umm ... the fabric of the covers!
MK: {muffled} BEAR! So help me, I'm trying to SLEEP!
BC: {FRANTICALLY pawing at the covers} Uh oh! I better dig faster! You're about to lose consciousness! Stay with me, Momma! MOMMA! STAY WITH ME!!!!
MK: {muffled} Oh for the love of ...
BC: AAAAAAAAAHA! There you go, Momma!
MK: {face now exposed} @#$! it, Bear!!
BC: I know! That was CLOSE! You almost DIED! But I saved you! Thank the gods of hungry kitties!
MK: BEAR!
BC: I'd get up if I were you, Momma! You wouldn't want the covers to try to kill you again.
MK: Bear, I WANTED to be under the covers so I could SLEEP!
BC: Why do I sense a lack of appreciation at my life-saving efforts?
MK: BECAUSE I WANTED TO SLEEP!
BC: MAN, are YOU grumpy! Do all humans get grumpy when they almost die?
MK: I DIDN'T ALMOST DIE!
BC: Yes, you did. I SAW you! Sheesh! A cat SAVES your life and you can't even bother to THANK me!
MK: ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!
BC: Talk about LACK of APPRECIATION! I'm going to go find some fun!
MK: BEAR!
BC: I'm bored. Why would I stay here in bed with Ms. Ungrateful Grumpy Pants?
MK: So help me ...
BC: RATS! All the cords are taped to the wall! You unplugged the toaster. You hid your pens. You sewed up the holes in the comforter. What's a cat gotta do around here for entertainment?!?!
BC: Because you don't want me to have any fun! Sheesh! I mean I SAVE your life and you keep your favorite toys out of my paws and out of my mouth!
MK: You don't see me going around here chewing on cords, or un-stuffing comforters, or batting around pens, or sticking my paw ... err ... hand in the toaster, do you?
BC: So THAT'S why!
MK: Wait ... why what?
BC: You want them all to yourself!
MK: Bear, you stick your nose in my business all the time ... how could I get away with any of those things without you noticing?
BC: It's not nice to not share!
MK: Says the cat that can't share the desk chair.
BC: {FRANTICALLY pawing at the covers} Uh oh! I better dig faster! You're about to lose consciousness! Stay with me, Momma! MOMMA! STAY WITH ME!!!!
MK: {muffled} Oh for the love of ...
BC: AAAAAAAAAHA! There you go, Momma!
MK: {face now exposed} @#$! it, Bear!!
BC: I know! That was CLOSE! You almost DIED! But I saved you! Thank the gods of hungry kitties!
MK: BEAR!
BC: I'd get up if I were you, Momma! You wouldn't want the covers to try to kill you again.
MK: Bear, I WANTED to be under the covers so I could SLEEP!
BC: Why do I sense a lack of appreciation at my life-saving efforts?
MK: BECAUSE I WANTED TO SLEEP!
BC: MAN, are YOU grumpy! Do all humans get grumpy when they almost die?
MK: I DIDN'T ALMOST DIE!
BC: Yes, you did. I SAW you! Sheesh! A cat SAVES your life and you can't even bother to THANK me!
MK: ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!
BC: Talk about LACK of APPRECIATION! I'm going to go find some fun!
MK: BEAR!
BC: I'm bored. Why would I stay here in bed with Ms. Ungrateful Grumpy Pants?
MK: So help me ...
BC: RATS! All the cords are taped to the wall! You unplugged the toaster. You hid your pens. You sewed up the holes in the comforter. What's a cat gotta do around here for entertainment?!?!
MK: Play with his toys?
BC: My toys are kept out of my paws! The cords are TAPED TO THE WALL! The toaster is unplugged. You hid the pens. You sewed up the holes in the comforter ...
MK: And why is that?BC: Because you don't want me to have any fun! Sheesh! I mean I SAVE your life and you keep your favorite toys out of my paws and out of my mouth!
MK: You don't see me going around here chewing on cords, or un-stuffing comforters, or batting around pens, or sticking my paw ... err ... hand in the toaster, do you?
BC: So THAT'S why!
MK: Wait ... why what?
BC: You want them all to yourself!
MK: Bear, you stick your nose in my business all the time ... how could I get away with any of those things without you noticing?
BC: It's not nice to not share!
MK: Says the cat that can't share the desk chair.
BC: Well, no. Expecting me to share is selfish!
{Pause}
BC: Oooooh! You're getting up! Can I have my wet food treat EARLY?
MK: No! I'm getting up because I won't be able to fall back asleep wondering what you're up to when it's quiet.
BC: And people doubt the feline maxim, "Walk softly with your claws and fangs out."
{Pause}
BC: Oooooh! You're getting up! Can I have my wet food treat EARLY?
MK: No! I'm getting up because I won't be able to fall back asleep wondering what you're up to when it's quiet.
BC: And people doubt the feline maxim, "Walk softly with your claws and fangs out."
{Momma goes to the bathroom ... comes out a few minutes later ...}
MK: {sigh} What ELSE is new?
Dr. Bona Fide:
Dr. Bona Fide:
BC: Momma?
{Momma's sound asleep in bed}.
BC: MOMMA!
{Still asleep}
{Bear starts clawing Momma's face}.
MK: Grrr ... tse tse ... sleeeeeeeeeep {pulling blanket over face}.
BC: {pawing the blanket off Momma's face} HIIIIIII!
MK: Beeeeear! Not AGAIN!
BC: {pawing the blanket off Momma's face} HIIIIIII!
MK: Beeeeear! Not AGAIN!
BC: {Purring wildly ... wraps paw around Momma's arm to pull her hand to his face} But ... but ... you were so sad last night. I'm here to fix everything!
MK: Oh, Bear ...
{Silence for thirty minutes ... except for Bear's deep rolling purr as his front leg is wrapped around Momma's arm, held to his face as Momma rubs his face and ears ... if Momma slows down or stops he pulls her hand back to his face}.
BC: Do you feel better, Momma?
MK: Yes. You make everything better just by being you. I love you, Bear.
BC: I love you too, Momma. I don't like it when you're sad.
MK: And you always manage to make me smile. I don't know how you know, but you know exactly what I need and you remind me of what's important.
BC: You aren't alone, Momma. And you're not unloved either! You have me!
MK: Oh, Bear ...
{Silence for thirty minutes ... except for Bear's deep rolling purr as his front leg is wrapped around Momma's arm, held to his face as Momma rubs his face and ears ... if Momma slows down or stops he pulls her hand back to his face}.
BC: Do you feel better, Momma?
MK: Yes. You make everything better just by being you. I love you, Bear.
BC: I love you too, Momma. I don't like it when you're sad.
MK: And you always manage to make me smile. I don't know how you know, but you know exactly what I need and you remind me of what's important.
BC: You aren't alone, Momma. And you're not unloved either! You have me!
MK: I know, Bug. Thank you. Sometimes it's like "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" around here though.
BC: Another knock off of great feline literature! It doesn't get any better than "How to be a Cat: Mr. Heckle and Dr. Bona Fide."
MK: You made that up! Though it DOES explain A LOT ... and the Dr. does make sense with you fixing things in "Bona Fide" mode ...
BC: I'm tired. All this fixing wears a cat out even more than destroying things does!
MK: Want to cuddle with my arms wrapped around you?
{Bear plops down in Momma's arms}
BC: PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
{Momma falls asleep with a smile on her face ... and she's pretty sure Bear does too}.
BC: Another knock off of great feline literature! It doesn't get any better than "How to be a Cat: Mr. Heckle and Dr. Bona Fide."
MK: You made that up! Though it DOES explain A LOT ... and the Dr. does make sense with you fixing things in "Bona Fide" mode ...
BC: I'm tired. All this fixing wears a cat out even more than destroying things does!
MK: Want to cuddle with my arms wrapped around you?
{Bear plops down in Momma's arms}
BC: PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
{Momma falls asleep with a smile on her face ... and she's pretty sure Bear does too}.
Featured posts of the day:
- For more feline literature ... Litter-ature with Bear Cat.
- What's a cat's idea of an emergency?
- "Empty" food bowl or a "late" snack ...
- "On debating the status of Bear's food bowl (one-third full or two-thirds empty?)" from "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 20.
- How To Save a Life.
- "Monday" from Meow McQuacky-Pants & Bear's Food Time.
- Need for admiration ...
- "On sexy emergencies," from "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 19.
- "Bear, the Sweetheart (well . . . mostly)" from Bear, While Momma Sleeps.
- Wet paws ... "On wet paws" from "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 21.
- Favorite toy the cat can't reach ... "Bear, the Sensitive Kitty Lover" from Bear, While Momma Sleeps.
- Contamination ...
- Conversation ... ... for a cat.
- Song ...
- Tiger's Pride.
- "Bear, the Entertainer" from Bear, While Momma Sleeps.
- Pooping ...
- Bear loves to steal Momma's desk chair ... to read more about the desk chair wars:
- To read about the beginning of the desk chair wars: Chair + Towel + Cat = Tons of Pictures. The pictures aren't up to current standards, but it gives you an idea of the history.
- Another series on the desk chair wars occurs in "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 12 (On the desk chair wars, parts 1-3).
- The most recent updates to the desk chair saga are found in: "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 23 ("On sharing selfishness"), "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 24 ("On MOO!"), Loud, proud ... and blunt, 1.14876 seconds, What's wrong with this picture?, Iz speako nodo engleeesh, Better in my head, WHEE!, The custody "arrangement," The re-debut, "I do what I want," Share ... NOT in the feline dictionary, NOT a cat, Let's talk reindeer {Bear post}, Cat v. Kat, and Momma's resolutions.
- Bear doesn't mind waking Momma up ... it usually happens at least once a night and he always has a reason (or ten) ...
- Bear, While Momma Sleeps.
- No Movey, Momma.
- The game (state the obvious).
- Poopetiquette.
- ... for a cat.
- Bolt Cathack.
- For more on Bear's un-stuffing saga ...
- KABLOOIE!!!.
- The stupidity allowance.
- The Santa ship sails, part 2.
- Bear's Christmas.
- Momma's resolutions.
- Bolt Cathack Returns.
- For more on Bear's pen fetish ...
I can't believe she wasn't more appreciative of your superhero skills - I mean you saved her life and all. Oh well, guess she made it up to you later with lots of cuddling.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm ... this gives me ideas ... ~Bear Cat
DeleteWe agree, she should totally be more appreciative of you. In fact... in fact, we think this calls for a whole tasy chicken for your heroic efforts.
ReplyDeleteGood point!!! ~Bear Cat
Delete{sigh} ~Momma
We have a great solution to the duvet trying to get your peep, nail it to the bottom of the bed so it cant move, or buy a short one. Better still, you could go under cover, literally, and help tackle it from the inside. Plus of this is the shared body heat is fabulous. purrs ERin
ReplyDeleteMy Momma's laughing at your comment. She must be insane to not recognize the danger. I might make some "modifications" to the blanket ... that's a fantastic idea. Too bad I can't un-stuff this one! ~Bear Cat
DeleteYou just keep up the hero work Bear. One of thes days Mom will really appreciate your hard work!
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing she has me because humans don't get more than one life! ~Bear Cat
DeleteGood job, Bear. *whispers* Come closer, I have something to tell you. Rip a whole in the bottom of the box spring. It's a GREAT place to hide!
ReplyDeleteP.s. We LOVE your header! It's just purrfect.
Thank you! We meant to announce the new header and Momma forgot! You can rip a hole in the bottom of the box spring?!?!? ~Bear Cat
DeleteUh oh. ~Momma.
You are certainly our super hero!! ps Zulu says thanks for not telling Amarula!~
ReplyDeleteThank you :) ~Bear Cat
Deleteps - She is AWFULLY tough on you ...
We cats are BEYOND unappreciated! Love, Cody catchatwithcarenandcody
ReplyDeleteExactly! I knew you would understand, Cody! ~Bear Cat
DeleteHow sweet of you to rescue your Momma from suffocating under the blankets :) Maybe if she didn't sew all the holes, she wouldn't have to worry. Clearly you made the holes as extra protection :)
ReplyDeleteRATS! Why didn't I think of that?!?! I saved her life another time! It's a good thing she has me because humans don't get more than one life! ~Bear Cat
DeleteAw, that second part of the story is SO sweet. And only 3 hours prep time for your wet food treat??? You sure believe in being well-prepared, Bear ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm VERY thorough ;) And I know how to make my Momma melt ... she's lucky I've saved her life every day for the past 9 years - she'd be a wreck without me ... or even more than she is now! ~Bear Cat
DeleteAw, Bear. You might give Momma Kat a hard time, but you really are good for her. :)
ReplyDeleteWe both whole-heartedly agree!
DeleteBear, Mommys is ALWAYS grumpy in the moring when wes gets them up. But they loves us to bits!
ReplyDeleteYous has discovered out secret weapon...snuggly purrs!!
Kisses
Nellie
Along with my cuteness ... snuggly purrs have saved me from A LOT of trouble. Wait until they get REALLY mad ... then purr like mad and act like a total sweetheart. SOLD! ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteYou were very good to your mommy, BearCat, not only when you held open her eyes, but also when you comfort her when she needed it. I think you can wake up now for your dinner ;) Pawkisses for a Happy Day to the both of you :) <3
ReplyDeleteTechnically I still had a couple hours ... but you better believe that I'd be right there if I heard Momma walk into the kitchen ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteOh Bear mew did make us laugh today! We purrticulary loved your line: And people doubt the feline maxim, "Walk softly with your claws and fangs out." MOL MOL MOL Totally brilliant post dude!
ReplyDeleteOh and before we furget, stop by the blog today, there's a surprise just fur mew and Momma Kat! :D
Sweetest purrs
Basil & Co xox
Thank you! We like to hear we made people laugh (it's why we do this). We will stop by, thank you!
DeleteAww, Bear. See, we knew you had a sweet side! Btw, I think 3 hours early to get your wet food treat ready - that's a bit much. Even my cats let it get down to like 2 hours. So, I'm totally on your momma's side on that one.
ReplyDeleteI think I need more paw power around here. I mean, three cats is much more effective than one! {What, Momma? NO! Of course I'm not going to share my stuff! OH!}. Never mind. Being an only child isn't so bad. ~Bear Cat
DeleteOh Bear dat was so sweet of you to save your mommy from da covers. But you know humans need a certain amount of sleep or they get confused and furget to give us da bestest treats and noms. Ya' know, ifin you wake your mommy too early, you might find beans in your bowl 'stead of yummy chickens. We're so glad your mommy has you to make her feel all better. We luv ya'll bunches too, so tell your mommy, she be luvved from our little corner of earth too. Big hugs to ya'll.
ReplyDeleteLuv ya'
Dezi and Raena
Thank you. Momma smiled when I read her your comment :) More Momma smiling means fewer impromptu snuggles ... err ... RATS! Don't tell her, but I kind of like them :) ~Bear Cat
DeleteTypical. Typical peeps. A cat goes above and beyond (and savin' a peep's life is above and beyond, for sure) and what do they get? NOTHIN' BUT GRIEF. MOUSES!
ReplyDeleteEXACTLY! Not even a little extra wet food ... NOTHING!!! Well, nothing but a bunch a lip about SLEEPING. ~Bear Cat
Delete4 legged alarm clocks are very effective 'time pieces.' Much to the chagrin of their two legged peeps.
ReplyDeleteESPECIALLY when those four legs have a wet nose to stick in your ear ... teeth to bite ... and claws!
Delete