MK: Momma Kat
BC: Do de do ... la la ... {licky, licky, lick, lick, lickety lick}.
BC: You're once {licky, licky, lick, lick, lickety lick} do de do ...
BC: Twice {licky, licky, lick, lick, lickety lick} do de do ...
BC: RATS! OF COURSE NOT.
MK: Bear, this is ridiculous. You can't take the kitchen pantry with you. The desk chair? The love seat? The bed? The KITCHEN COUNTER?
BC: Why not?
MK: Because they're MINE! Or they're attached to the house!
BC: Hmph. OBVIOUSLY not. My name IS on them.
MK: You can't stick a post-it note on something and claim it's yours.
BC: Shows what you know!
MK: And the cat tree isn't going to fit in your suitcase.
BC: Why not?
MK: Bear! Compare the size of the suitcase to the size of your cat tree!
BC: What's the problem? SHEESH! You ask a human to do ONE LITTLE THING and her incompetence becomes readily apparent!
MK: {sigh} All this because I tried to get the mirrored closet door back on track?
BC: NO! I meant you were incompetent because you couldn't get my tiny little cat tree in the .... WAIT A SECOND!
{Pause}
BC: You were trying to get the closet door back on track?
MK: Ummmm .... YEAH!
BC: Why didn't you say that before?!?!?
MK: I gladly would have if you'd given me the chance!
BC: Hmph. How am I supposed to know when you'll have something useful to say? I mean, it happens so rarely ... usually your gabbing sounds like a mosquito buzzing. ANNOY-ING!
{Pause}
BC: WAIT! Did you find my mousie?
BC: You're once {licky, licky, lick, lick, lickety lick} do de do ...
BC: Twice {licky, licky, lick, lick, lickety lick} do de do ...
BC: {licky, licky, lick, lick, lickety lick} THREE TIMES ... A TORTIE!!! Do de do ...
BC: And I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE ...
MK: Give it to me!
BC: And I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE ...
MK: Give it to me!
{Pause}
BC: HUH?
{Bear runs under the kitchen table}
MK: Oh, yeah!
{Bear looks one direction}
MK: Come on!
{Bear looks the other direction}
MK: Oooooooh! Yeah, right there!
{Bear looks up}
{Bear looks up}
MK: {grunt} No! NO! Don't stop!
{Bear looks down}
{Bear looks down}
MK: Oh my ... YEAH!
BC: What the FILTH?!?!?
BC: What the FILTH?!?!?
MK: {grunt} Harder!
BC: Hmph! I NEVER ...
MK: Almost ... just a little ...
BC: AWCHUH!
BC: Hmph! I NEVER ...
MK: Almost ... just a little ...
BC: AWCHUH!
MK: I'm about to ...
BC: Oh, for the love of ...
BC: Oh, for the love of ...
MK: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
BC: EEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
MK: Bear?
BC: I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! I was in my desk chair singing while I bathe ... and I hear THIS ... THIS ...
MK: Come here!
BC: NO! Don't involve me in your ... your ... INIQUITY! My poor ears! Subjected to this FOUL-ility! This ... sleaze! This .... SMUT! I feel DIRTY! EEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
MK: {coming out of the bedroom} What are you talking about?
BC: EEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
MK: Bear?
BC: I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! I was in my desk chair singing while I bathe ... and I hear THIS ... THIS ...
MK: Come here!
BC: NO! Don't involve me in your ... your ... INIQUITY! My poor ears! Subjected to this FOUL-ility! This ... sleaze! This .... SMUT! I feel DIRTY! EEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
MK: {coming out of the bedroom} What are you talking about?
BC: I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!
MK: Don't want to know WHAT?
BC: What ... what ... INDECENCY! If you come out here ... YOU BETTER BE WEARING PANTS!
MK: Why wouldn't I be wearing pants? Bear ...
BC: DEPRAVITY! IMMORALITY!
MK: Don't want to know WHAT?
BC: What ... what ... INDECENCY! If you come out here ... YOU BETTER BE WEARING PANTS!
MK: Why wouldn't I be wearing pants? Bear ...
BC: DEPRAVITY! IMMORALITY!
MK: Bear!
BC: The ... MISCREANCY! WICKEDNESS!
MK: BEAR!
BC: Your ... your ... VULGARITY! VILENESS!
MK: BEAR!
BC: Your ... your ... VULGARITY! VILENESS!
MK: What are you ...
MK: BEAR!
BC: With your .... your ... LICENTIOUSNESS! DEBAUCHERY! CRASSNESS! I have to re-bathe myself! I feel contaminated by your ... your ... IMPROPRIETY! DEPRAVITY! INDECENCY!
MK: But ...
BC: Hmph. At least you put on pants before coming out! The horrors! But still! My poor ears!!! I need MIND BLEACH! LOTS of mind bleach! NO! I need to scour my hard drive! Err ... reboot?
BC: LUBRICITY! UNCOUTH-OCITY! My favorite tortie will never be allowed to come over with this ... this ... CRUDITY! SALACITY! OBSCENITY! INDECENCY! She's a lady ... and you're a ... a ... LOOSE WOMAN!
MK: BEAR!
BC: With your .... your ... LICENTIOUSNESS! DEBAUCHERY! CRASSNESS! I have to re-bathe myself! I feel contaminated by your ... your ... IMPROPRIETY! DEPRAVITY! INDECENCY!
MK: But ...
BC: Hmph. At least you put on pants before coming out! The horrors! But still! My poor ears!!! I need MIND BLEACH! LOTS of mind bleach! NO! I need to scour my hard drive! Err ... reboot?
{Pause}
BC: No. I don't have boots ... umm ...
MK: Bear, I was ...
BC: I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!! What kind of cat do you think I am? I'm a GENTLEcat! A NICE boy! Uncorrupted! Angelic! PURE!
BC: No. I don't have boots ... umm ...
MK: Bear, I was ...
BC: I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!! What kind of cat do you think I am? I'm a GENTLEcat! A NICE boy! Uncorrupted! Angelic! PURE!
MK: You? GENTLE? Hahahahahaha.
BC: I ... umm ... RATS!
MK: You? ANGELIC? Hahahahahaha.
BC: I ... YOU ... STOP THAT! I HATE YOU!
MK: Bear ...
BC: NO! I'm LEAVING! I'm packing my stuff up in my suitcase and LEAVING!
{Pause}
BC: No. Wait. You're packing up my stuff. I don't know how to fit all my stuff in my suitcase. I got my suitcase out. I'll be waiting here by the front door.
MK: This sticker on your suitcase ... "I break for food?!" Don't you mean, "I brake for food?"
BC: Shows what you know! Cats can't DRIVE! And besides ... we're CATS. Even if we COULD drive, we'd hit the gas and just plow full speed ahead without a care in the world ... especially in regard to what a HUMAN thinks! Brakes are for sissies.
MK: Huh. You have a point ... thank goodness you don't drive.
BC: Remember this cat shaming sign, Momma?!?
BC: I ... umm ... RATS!
MK: You? ANGELIC? Hahahahahaha.
BC: I ... YOU ... STOP THAT! I HATE YOU!
MK: Bear ...
BC: NO! I'm LEAVING! I'm packing my stuff up in my suitcase and LEAVING!
{Pause}
BC: No. Wait. You're packing up my stuff. I don't know how to fit all my stuff in my suitcase. I got my suitcase out. I'll be waiting here by the front door.
MK: This sticker on your suitcase ... "I break for food?!" Don't you mean, "I brake for food?"
BC: Shows what you know! Cats can't DRIVE! And besides ... we're CATS. Even if we COULD drive, we'd hit the gas and just plow full speed ahead without a care in the world ... especially in regard to what a HUMAN thinks! Brakes are for sissies.
MK: Huh. You have a point ... thank goodness you don't drive.
BC: Remember this cat shaming sign, Momma?!?
MK: Bear ...
BC: NO! I pulled up all the pictures of what's mine. GET TO IT, Momma! Dice dice!
BC: NO! I pulled up all the pictures of what's mine. GET TO IT, Momma! Dice dice!
{Pause}
BC: Mince mince?
MK: Chop chop.
BC: Last time I did that, I got grounded! But wait ... I'm leaving, so what do I care? HIIIIIIII-YAH!
MK: Chop chop.
BC: Last time I did that, I got grounded! But wait ... I'm leaving, so what do I care? HIIIIIIII-YAH!
MK: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
BC: Here's my list of things to pack. I'll supervise from under my paper bag so I'm not subjected to more of your corruption!
MK: You want to take me with you?
BC: Here's my list of things to pack. I'll supervise from under my paper bag so I'm not subjected to more of your corruption!
MK: You want to take me with you?
BC: RATS! OF COURSE NOT.
MK: Bear, this is ridiculous. You can't take the kitchen pantry with you. The desk chair? The love seat? The bed? The KITCHEN COUNTER?
BC: Why not?
MK: Because they're MINE! Or they're attached to the house!
BC: Hmph. OBVIOUSLY not. My name IS on them.
MK: You can't stick a post-it note on something and claim it's yours.
BC: Shows what you know!
MK: And the cat tree isn't going to fit in your suitcase.
BC: Why not?
MK: Bear! Compare the size of the suitcase to the size of your cat tree!
BC: What's the problem? SHEESH! You ask a human to do ONE LITTLE THING and her incompetence becomes readily apparent!
MK: {sigh} All this because I tried to get the mirrored closet door back on track?
BC: NO! I meant you were incompetent because you couldn't get my tiny little cat tree in the .... WAIT A SECOND!
{Pause}
BC: You were trying to get the closet door back on track?
MK: Ummmm .... YEAH!
BC: Why didn't you say that before?!?!?
MK: I gladly would have if you'd given me the chance!
BC: Hmph. How am I supposed to know when you'll have something useful to say? I mean, it happens so rarely ... usually your gabbing sounds like a mosquito buzzing. ANNOY-ING!
{Pause}
BC: WAIT! Did you find my mousie?
MK: What?
BC: The closet ate Pinkie!
BC: The closet ate Pinkie!
MK: Wait a ... is THAT what that racket was this morning?
BC: Stupid closet!
MK: That's how the door got off track! You body checked the mirrored panel repeatedly, didn't you?
BC: Well, yeah! It ATE my favorite mousie! I was trying to get her back!
{Pause}
BC: Uh oh.
MK: BEAR! Are YOU the reason that panel keeps getting off track?
BC: I ... err ... ummm ... I WANT MY MOUSIE BACK!
MK: {sigh} How about you stop carrying your mousie into the second bedroom?
BC: Because I like playing with her in there! For PRIVACY!
MK: But you get her stuck in the closet.
BC: I do NOT! The closet EATS her!
MK: Okay, okay. Hold on.
BC: What are you doing? Can I watch?
MK: BEAR! I can't see what I'm doing with your nose in my face!
BC: I have to make sure Pinkie doesn't get hurt when you extricate her from the evil closet!
MK: {sigh} Here she is.
BC: OooH! OOOOH! Pinkie!
MK: No. You can only have her back outside of this bedroom.
BC: Hmph.
MK: Here!
BC: Oh, Pinkie! I thought I'd never see you again! I'm so glad you're okay! You're so pretty in pink! Your tail is looking ESPECIALLY fine today! That evil closet ate you! I'm so glad I saved you!
MK: {AHEM!!!!}
BC: Do you MIND?!?!? We're having a private moment here, Momma!
MK: Oh, never mind.
BC: SEE! This is why we have to take our amorous-ity into the second bedroom!
MK: {mumbling to herself} Oh, for the love of ... and you accuse ME of iniquity! GET A ROOM!
BC: Do you hear buzzing, Pinkie?!?! There's an annoying mosquito around here ... Let's go elsewhere so we can be alone!
{Fifteen minutes pass}
BC: RATS! {BOOM!} Damn closet!!! {THUNK!} PINKIE! PINKIE! DON'T WORRY! I WON'T FORSAKE YOU! {THUMP!} Stupid closet! {THUNK!} MOOOOOOMMMMMMMMA!!!!
MK: I quit!
BC: MOOOOoooooommmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA! It's an EMERGENCY! 991! SCAT!
MK: Okay, okay.
{Momma messes around with the closet door}
MK: {mumbling to herself} And it's 9 - 1 - 1! And not SCAT ... but STAT! How many times do I have to tell ...
MK: {mumbling to herself} And it's 9 - 1 - 1! And not SCAT ... but STAT! How many times do I have to tell ...
MK: BEAR! I can't see what I'm doing with your nose in my face!
BC: I have to make sure Pinkie doesn't get hurt when you extricate her from the evil closet!
MK: {sigh} Here she is.
BC: OooH! OOOOH! Pinkie! My pretty! I missed you! It seemed like FOREVER that you were gone!
{Pause}
MK: {mumbling to herself} Stupid panel is off track, AGAIN!
BC: {carrying Pinkie to his desk chair} I'll groom you right now! Hold on a sec ... let me clean my paw first ...
{Pause}
MK: Come on!
{Bear looks up}
MK: Come on!
{Bear looks up}
MK: Oooooooh! Yeah, right there!
{Pause}
MK: Almost ... just a little bit ...
{Pause}
MK: Almost ... just a little bit ...
{Pause}
MK: {grunt} No! NO! Don't stop!
BC: DO YOU MIND?!?!?!? I have to cover Pinkie's ears! She's a NICE girl-mousie!
MK: You could just rip her ears off like you've done with your other micey!
BC: WHAT?!?! Don't listen to her Pinkie! Ask all your other micey friends ... they'll tell you I'd NEVER ...
MK: They couldn't HEAR her question because THEY DON'T HAVE EARS!
BC: RATS! Don't you have something better to do than harass me and Pinkie?
MK: You mean ... like get the closet door back on track?
BC: See what I have to put up with, Pinkie! It's a cruel, cruel world.
MK: You could just rip her ears off like you've done with your other micey!
BC: WHAT?!?! Don't listen to her Pinkie! Ask all your other micey friends ... they'll tell you I'd NEVER ...
MK: They couldn't HEAR her question because THEY DON'T HAVE EARS!
BC: RATS! Don't you have something better to do than harass me and Pinkie?
MK: You mean ... like get the closet door back on track?
BC: See what I have to put up with, Pinkie! It's a cruel, cruel world.
Featured posts of the day:
- Did you miss the posts involving Bear labeling what's his (or not his) around the house?
- To view the full list of what belongs to Bear ... The name game.
- To see the list of things that are NOT Bear Cat's ... The no name game (The name game - part 2).
- Since the start of the blog, Bear's accused Momma of endless iniquities and/or frustrating her to the point that she admits things out loud that she'd rather keep to herself ... prior incidents include:
- Bear's job.
- Tom, Dick and Harry.
- "On cat litter debauchery (Momma's back - part 3)" from "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 21.
- "On Momma sleeping around" from "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 17.
- "Momma's 'iniquities' disturb Bear" from Mistreated, Misunderstood, Unloved.
- "On Momma's dating prospects," and "On Momma's 'iniquity'" from "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 8.
- To view all the cat shaming signs (and Bear's Momma shaming signs that prompted her revenge) ...
Good job of labeling all your stuff Bear. Looks like you sure have a lot of good stuff. Have a great day.
ReplyDeleteI need more post-its! ~Bear Cat
DeleteYikes! A scandal on Monday could make for a long week!
ReplyDeleteDepends on how many times Pinkie gets eaten by the closet! That closet is FEROCIOUS! ~Bear Cat
DeleteOh I just love Bear's innocent little face at the end of your argumen...um conversation with him.
ReplyDeleteNext time the closet eats Pinkie, you could call Wonder Kitty from As The World Purrz... I hear she is good at
banishing evil.
-Katie Kat.
I AM innocent! Well ... mostly ;) Good idea about Wonder Kitty! ~Bear Cat
DeleteOh Bear, we got a little nervous ourselves at furst. MOL Pinkie does look like lots of fun. You of course look very handsum. But dat closet door sounds like a real pain in everypawdys' behinds. Maybe ya'll oughtta think 'bout just chuckin' it in da trash and hangin' a sheet. MOL Big hugs fur all. Have a pawsum day.
ReplyDeleteLuv ya'
Dezi and Raena
Thank you! Hmmm ... your suggestion gives me IDEAS ... maybe it's time to throw my weight around here ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteYou have such an innocent face. Happy Halloween!
ReplyDeleteI AM innocent! Well ... mostly ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteI love the name tags and suitcase!!! So funny! hairballsandhissyfits.com
ReplyDeleteThank you ... I'm a busy boy :) ~Bear Cat
DeleteOMC, we were in stitches, Bear mew are just hilarious! MOL BTW mew can always borrow our miniaturizing ray gun, then effurything will fit in your suitcase, like the entire house... MOL
ReplyDeleteThough we haven't tried it on the P.A. yet, so we don't know what happens to organic matter so be careful :D
Wishing mew a Happy Halloween
Spooky purrs
Basil & Co xox
Adding a miniaturizing ray gun to my Christmas list ... and a bazooka ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteBwahahaha! You and Momma Kat are hilarious! Umm...are you sure she was fixing the closet door?
ReplyDeleteI DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!!! ~Bear Cat
DeleteI DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!!! ~Bear Cat
ReplyDeleteOMC! I think I see her sans pants in your eyeballs in that closeup! I'm going to be blind!
ReplyDeleteMind bleach! We're going to need LOTS of mind bleach! Or some really strong catnip! ~Bear Cat
DeleteI am glad your pinkie mousie was rescued. Happy Halloween!
ReplyDeleteMe too! Thank you. ~Bear Cat
DeleteBear, you used words that we needed to look up to find out the meaning. You have quite the vocabulary. ;)
ReplyDeleteI have a thesaurus ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteBwahahaha! That made us laugh so hard, Bear Cat and MK! Thanks for the smiles. :)
ReplyDeleteThat's what we like to hear! It means we've done our job!
DeleteBear, as our mom always says when we are totally annoying or do something she doesn't like, "It's a good thing you are cute." You, Bear, are fortunate to be the epitome of cuteness. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo
ReplyDeleteMy Momma says, "It's a good thing you are cute." ALL. THE. TIME! ~Bear Cat
DeleteBwa! Haa!! Haaa!!!
ReplyDeleteYous really makes mes laughs!!!
Have a most wonderful day!!!
Kisses
Nellie
PS Happy Howl-ween!
Just doing my job, Ma'am! ~Bear Cat
DeleteMOL ! You look so innocent, Bear ! Purrs
ReplyDeleteThat's because I AM innocent! Well ... mostly ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteOh my cats I think that was the longest grooming session I've seen in 87 years.
ReplyDeleteWell done BC
Hugs madi your bfff
I've had a lot of practice! ~Bear Cat
DeleteYou're more than welcome to come to my house, Bear! My Mommy is a lady too! --Mudpie
ReplyDeleteUm...most of the time. Just don't be around her during the news or a NASCAR race.
DeleteUh oh ... then again, I'm used to it :) ~Bear Cat
DeletePhew! I can see you have to have ear defenders in your Palace, I find a plentyful surply of mice works well to keep my peep from attempting such DIY repairs. purrs ERin PS. If all else fails and peep insists on having a go, may I suggest a mature Cheddar, and a bowl of cream. Works wonders for me, though I don't think it does mirrors any good! pps. feel free to substitute tasty chicken for cheddar and or cream!
ReplyDeleteAnd LOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTS of catnip! ~Bear Cat
DeleteClearly, it's a rough life being a cat.
ReplyDeleteCLEARLY!! ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteBy the way Bear, you do realize that you do not wear pants either.
ReplyDeleteRATS! But I have fur!! Glorious fur if I'm being honest! ~Bear Cat
DeleteYou gotta watch out for those closet doors, Bear! You never know what they're going to eat.
ReplyDelete{GASP} Surely they wouldn't eat a full grown cat ... right? RIGHT?!?! ~Bear Cat
Delete