~Bear Cat
WEAR YOUR TAIL LOUD AND PROUD, JUST AS NATURE INTENDED ...
WEAR YOUR TAIL LOUD AND PROUD, JUST AS NATURE INTENDED ...
Indications/usage of tigriscaudae procerus (Tiagra):
- For the treatment of Erect Tail Dysfunction (thank you to Brian's Home Blog for this nugget of awesomeness).
- Ask your favorite Q.S. if Tiagra is right for you.
- Before using Tiagra, tell your Q.S. if you are allergic to any drugs, or are pregnant, nursing, or plan to become pregnant.
Just a few of the benefits (These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration):
- Keep your tail up and strong at all times.
- Lengthen, tone, and beef up a lackluster, limp tail.
- Knock over even the heaviest objects with just a tiny flick of your magnificent tail!
- Impress rivals and lady cats with your tail, even as you run away!
Warnings:
Before using ... read directions, cautions, and warnings carefully. If you do not understand these directions, cautions, and warnings, or cannot read, do not use TIAGRA.
- Do not drive a car or operate heavy machinery after taking TIAGRA.
- Do not use TIAGRA on any other part of your body ... including your face.
- TIAGRA should not be fed to fish or rabbits.
- TIAGRA should not be used in the commission of a felony or carried across state lines.
- Keep TIAGRA out of the reach of children, kittens, and other animals.
- TIAGRA does not enable the user to fly.
- TIAGRA does not protect against T.T.D.s (tail transmitted diseases).
- TIAGRA was not tested on animals.
In the event of an erect tail that persists longer than four hours, the user should seek immediate medical assistance. Always handle your tail carefully; a longer and thicker tail increases the danger of your tail being stepped on or hurt. Be ALERT! Don't get hurt!
- What's a Q.S.?
- Do cats ever operate machinery?
- How do you know Tiagra works for cats if the product was not tested on animals?
- Since when do cats read?
- And MUCH, MUCH more ...
DISCLAIMER: THIS PAGE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE
The information contained on this page is for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and is not intended to be a substitute for such. Always seek the advice of your Q.S. with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen. Never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you read on the internet.
The information contained on this page is for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and is not intended to be a substitute for such. Always seek the advice of your Q.S. with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen. Never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you read on the internet.
This is such a cute post. I just read it out loud to my friend and we laughed out loud. Thanks for that. A nice mid-afternoon chuckle. Can't wait to read more about it. :)
ReplyDeleteWe're so glad you enjoyed it! Making people laugh is the best compliment and it's why we do this :)
DeleteHi Bear, I am a sweet innocent feline (not a Princess, no ma'am) looking for my tom to have a bigger tail.... OK you rumbled me, what I really wants to know is.... when you say heavy machinery, does that mean my peep cant lift the cream churns, do the laundry AND plough the fields? purrs ERin PS My tail is pretty cool, well I do waft it around a bit, do you think this will be putting off?
ReplyDeletePPS peep said I probably need to explain that we were playing Pin The Tail on the Peep, and so far it just isn't working. purrs ERin
DeleteWait, wait, wait ... your human lifts the cream churns, does the laundry AND ploughs the fields?!?!? I'M SCREWED! My Momma sits around eating doughnuts and telling me what I shouldn't do! I'm intrigued by this Pin the Tail on the Peep game ... do tell. With the doughnut excess and her sitting around eating the doughnuts, she's a proverbial sitting duck for a tail. ~Bear Cat
DeleteWell, it is a variation on the old game called Pin the Tail on the Donkey, where you are blindfolded and have to pin a non real tail to a non real Donkey. I really don't recommend trying it with a REAL donkey! Peeps said also way less painful if you don't use pins either, or claws, as I need to do on account of not having thumbs.... wuss! ERin
DeleteHmmm ... I have IDEAS ... ~Bear Cat
DeleteOoooh, do tell. Or is it a surprise? ER
DeleteA surprise ... but sometimes, it's hard to tell the difference between my Momma and a deranged donkey ...
Delete~Bear Cat
Dang, things are looking up already!
ReplyDeleteUp. Hahahaha. Erect tail dysfunction. Bear Cat might fire me in favor of your wit :) ~Momma Kat
DeleteOh, this is brilliant. Do you have a marketing plan, Bear?
ReplyDeleteNO! I need a marketing plan?!?!? Why doesn't my Momma TELL me these things!!! ~Bear Cat
DeleteOh my. Tail enhancements. What will they think of next?
ReplyDeleteMy Momma says she doesn't want to know ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteYou are too funny. My boys are all happy with their tails, Millie's ( he is a boy) is 14 and a half inches. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm at 10 1/2 .... let me finish the bottle and I'll get back to you ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteMOL!!! OMG, Bear, this is hilarious!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
Delete