MK: Momma Kat
TB: The Boy (Who's "The Boy?" The Boy was introduced in The Boy.)
TB: The Boy (Who's "The Boy?" The Boy was introduced in The Boy.)
Daily conversation - The interview (Tom, Dick and Harry - part 2):
{Momma and the Boy are deep in conversation as Bear finally comes out from under the bed ... after two days of hiding whenever the Boy is around}BC: {clearing his throat} AHEM!
TB: {pointing to Bear} Look who ...
BC: Who are you?
TB: I ...
MK: BEAR!
BC: Am I interrupting something?
MK: BEAR!
BC: Am I interrupting something?
TB: Well, no. We were just talking ...
BC: RATS!
{Pause}
BC: Excuse you. I intend to make an ENTRANCE.
{Pause}
BC: Excuse you. I intend to make an ENTRANCE.
{Bear walks out of the room}
MK: {rolling her eyes} (SIGH).
TB: He's ...
BC: HELLO! The Great Bear Cat, otherwise known as Male Princess Buttercup Black Bear Cat of the Forest, ARRIVES. You may admire me now.
TB: Male princess?
TB: Male princess?
MK: {whispering} Don't ask.
TB: I thought he was mostly joking about your history of emasculation, but you call him 'princess?' He's got a ...
BC: SILENCE!
{Silence}
BC: Who are you?
TB: My name is ...
MK: Uh oh.
BC: Did I ask your name? I want to know your intentions.
BC: Did I ask your name? I want to know your intentions.
TB: Well, I'd like to get to know ...
BC: {looking at Momma} (SIGH). Another half-wit?
MK: BEAR!
TB: Another?!?!
BC: Since you're just a couple thousand steps behind, let me be frank.
TB: Oh. Is Frank a special nickname?
BC: (SIGH). Do you intend to give me quality back scratches and ear rubs?
TB: Well, I ...
BC: Yes or no.
TB: Well, I ...
BC: Yes or no.
TB: Err ... yes.
BC: Do you intend to take my side in any argument Momma and I have?
TB: Well, she seems fairly rational ...
TB: Well, she seems fairly rational ...
{Silence}
TB: But I guess everyone has shortcomings at SOME time.
MK: EXCUSE ME?
TB: Well, I didn't mean ...
BC: When Momma's starving me, do you intend to slip me a couple extra treats?
TB: You don't look like you're starv ... {stopping as he notices Bear's glare}.
{Pause}
TB: Yes, I see the problem.
MK: Are you SERIOUS?
TB: Well, he does look a little thin in the ... {looking at Bear} in the ...
BC: Do you have any tasty whole chickens?
TB: No. What ...
BC: Do you own or intend to own a tasty whole chicken farm?
TB: Hahaha. I can't imagine a tasty non-whole chicken farm ... {seeing Bear's look}. No chicken farm. Err ... is that a problem?
BC: (SIGH) Where do you find these men?
TB: MEN?!?!?
BC: I'm pretty special you know! Not just anyone can touch me and be gifted with my presence. Not to mention that it takes a real man to appreciate my excessive personality and extreme handsomeness.
MK: Bear ...
BC: Nope. He needs to know the rules.
{Pause}
BC: Test time.
TB: TEST?!?! No one said anything about a test!
BC: Give me your best ear rub ... oh. Since you seem a little slow ... I mean GIVE ME your best ear rub. You fail if you give yourself an ear rub. That's just weird.
MK: He's hustling you for an ear rub.
BC: Shh. Women are meant to be seen, not heard.
TB: Hahahahaha ... he's really ... {seeing Momma's look} ... err ... ummm ... crap.
BC: By the way, if you take the blame for everything I "don't" do ... I just might call you 'Daddy.'
MK: Right. I'm sure he'll be falling all over himself to take responsibility for chewing on the toaster cord. The one with clear fang marks.
TB: Well ... ACTUALLY ...
MK: Don't you have something better to do, Bear?
BC: No. This date is pretty fun! You should have more of them ...
TB: Well, I hope to spend more time getting to know ...
BC: ... but only with guys with tasty whole chickens.
{Pause}
BC: FAIL! You're dismissed. BYE!
MK: BEAR!
TB: He's kidding, right?
BC: I don't make jokes. Though I've been known to change my mind for an ear rub or twenty.
TB: I can handle that ...
BC: {eyeing the Boy suspiciously} Are your hands clean? My fur deserves nothing less.
TB: I think so ...
BC: Wash them.
MK: BEAR!
BC: No. Not negotiable. Contamination of my pristine fur is against the rules.
{The Boy comes back from washing his hands and gives Bear an ear rub}
BC: PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
TB: What a good girl ...
BC: WHAT?!?!
TB: (BLEEP)! Sorry. My cat's a girl. I'm used to saying, "good girl."
BC: Is she pretty?
TB: Well, I guess ...
BC: Hmmm. You may proceed to the back scratch portion of the interview.
TB: Hahahaha ... oh, you're serious.
{Pause ... then the Boy starts scratching Bear's back}
BC: Oooooooooooh! PURRRRRR ...
{Pause}
BC: You're okay. Until a guy with a tasty whole chicken farm comes along.
MK: Bear!
BC: You kids have fun {Bear walks away}.
TB: He's ... he's ...
MK: One of a kind?
TB: Yes.
MK: Welcome to my life.
Some cat loves his Momma ...
Featured posts of the Day:
*** The Boy was introduced in The boy.
*** To read more about Male Princess Buttercup Black Bear Cat of the Forest ... "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 22.
guess TB should be glad there is only one cat in the house :)
ReplyDeleteMy Momma says I'm more than enough cat for her ;)
DeletePssst! Bear, ONLY two tests? I know peep isn't dating, not into those sort of exotic fruit, but I do think you need a few more tests... maybe mousing, and cream storage... most importantly, Nip distillation and distribution (to you). purrs ERin
ReplyDeleteHmmm ... you're right. I wouldn't want to be considered 'easy!'
DeleteThe Boy seems compliant Bear...you should give him a chance...Heeheehee,"contamination of my pristine furs..." Agreed!:p
ReplyDeletethe critters in the cottage xo
{sigh} I suppose I COULD give him a chance ... his back scratches ARE pretty amazing ;) ~Bear Cat
DeleteAlternative suggestions?
ReplyDeleteI love these photos of Bear! He is so cute. It sounds like he has some quite lofty kitty goals too! There is nothing wrong with wanting a whole chicken farm to yourself. :)
ReplyDelete-Purrs from your friends at www.PlayfulKitty.net
Thank you! Of course, I'd share it with Manna and Dexter too :)
DeleteWe think you gave The Boy more than the once over, Bear.
ReplyDelete;)
DeleteNo tasty chicken farm? No dating your Mama. All she needs is you handsome princess Bear.
ReplyDeleteMomma says not everything is about me. Phht. Clearly she doesn't know me ;)
DeleteSo there's a girl cat, eh? The plot thickens!
ReplyDelete;)
Delete