MK: Momma Kat
MK: Hi, Bear! Did you miss me?
BC: {CHOMP}.
MK: Ow! What the heck? Aren't you glad I'm home?
BC: I wish my Momma was here to see this! She always tells me that cats have to HUNT. Phht. Obviously not. A lobster just walked in my front door!
MK: Wait a ... OWWW!
BC: Are you a tasty lobster? Are you whole? You look kind of strange for a lobster but I can't put my paw on what is missing!
MK: But ...
BC: Stop talking ... my food bowl's that way. I order you to go surrender yourself! You're kind of tough ... but I'll make do.
MK: BEAR! It's Momma!
BC: Who?
MK: Your Momma!
BC: My Momma's not a lobster!
MK: I'M NOT a lobster!
BC: Are you in disguise as a lobster?
MK: NO!
BC: Then why are you bright red?
MK: Because I got a bad sunburn while I was gone!
BC: Are you SURE you're not a lobster?
MK: YES, I'm SURE.
BC: Phew. You'd make a nasty tasting lobster.
MK: I swear, Bear. Live animals don't just walk in the door and flop down in your food bowl. How many times do I have to explain that to you?
BC: {CHOMP}!
MK: OWW! Knock that off!
BC: Just double checking.
MK: Great. Now my arm is sunburned AND chewed up.
BC: What have YOU been doing?
MK: Walking in the front door.
BC: Don't you walk THROUGH the door, not into it?
MK: {looking around the house for the first time since walking in} What did you do while I was gone?
BC: Well, first I threw a rager … then passed out on catnip … went after some spiders that I thought were buffalo … then realized I was still high and made the most of it by watching the wall for a day or so …
MK: I didn’t mean the question literally. I meant why does this place look like … look like …
BC: I threw a rager … then passed out on catnip … went after some spiders that I thought were buffalo?
MK: Never mind.
BC: You’re sorry you asked.
MK: At least Gary and Larry weren’t involved this time.
BC: Of course they were! Umm … what’s a rager without the raging aliens?
MK: Raging as in partying or raging as in angry?
BC: A little of both.
MK: I quit.
BC: What?
MK: I just quit.
BC: What’s to befall me? You adopted me only to throw me back on the cruel streets?
MK: Bear …
BC: Who will give me ear rubs, and back scratches and snuggle with me?
MK: I …
BC: Who will feed me? Who will give me hugs? Who will I avoid and assert my will toward? You said you love me! Now, you’re just throwing me away like a used … used …
MK: Kleenex?
BC: I’ll be left in a dumpster to starve. I’ll lose my cat tree and all my toys. Returned to nature because I’m naughty by nature.
MK: I won’t dump you in the trash, Bear.
BC: Hmph. Just leave me on the street. We cats are domesticated, you know! We need love and litter boxes and toys.
MK: Well, actually …
BC: Why don’t you just let me finish my "making you feel bad" soliloquy instead of always interrupting?
MK: Bear, I’m not going to dump you anywhere.
BC: So you’ll dump me nowhere?
MK: I won’t dump you period – anywhere, nowhere or any place in between.
BC: Of course you won’t. You’re not THAT stupid.
MK: I just meant I was done with this conversation because it's only going to frustrate me.
BC: You mean Gary and Larry will frustrate you.
MK: But you said YOU'RE the one that threw a rager.
BC: No I didn't. It was Gary and Larry.
MK: {sigh} Of course, it was. I had no idea aliens reacted to catnip.
BC: Those crazy aliens!
MK: How come I never see them?
BC: They're invisible.
MK: Invisible, trouble-making, world dominating, catnip affected aliens?
BC: Well, when you put it THAT way ...
MK: It sounds like I'm describing a cat?
BC: Minus the invisible part, yes.
BC: RATS! NO! {CHOMP!}
MK: OWW! Nice distraction.
BC: Nice lobster. My food bowl's that way.
The "taste test."
The lobster (unfortunate sunburn).
Featured post of the Day:
Did you miss Gary and Larry - part 1? Incatnating Bear (Gary and Larry - part 1).
Double ouch on the sunburn and the taste test. I thought you were a good boy Bear?
ReplyDeleteErr ... define "good." ~Bear Cat
DeleteBear, dude, you totally scored some notches in your clas for those bites bites. Did ya add some nip sauce to that lobst'ah?
ReplyDeleteRATS! No, I didn't. Time to try the taste test again ... hehehe. ~Bear Cat
DeleteO.M.G. I hope you're doing okay there lobster! Ack!!! Also, it sounds like you should put the catnip away next time before you leave.
ReplyDeleteI think the worst of the sunburn is over ... who knew having a sunburn turned your skin into tissue paper for the cat that likes to throw his fangs around?
Delete