BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat
BC: Momma?
MK: Yes, love bug?
BC: I have some feedback for you - for your "I Hate Bear" website.
MK: You mean our blog? About YOU?
BC: Whatever.
MK: OK. What do you think?
BC: Not me . . . a "friend" gave me some feedback and told me to tell you.
MK: I thought you didn't have any friends . . . remember your whole because you're a cat too, you know what other cats are capable of?
BC: I don't know if it was a cat.
MK: What?
BC: Whoever it was slid a note under our door overnight.
MK: Can I see it?
BC: Ummmm . . . you see, it was tuna-flavored paper . . . and you didn't leave anything out for me to shred . . . PLUS the instructions at the end specifically said to destroy the note after I was done reading it.
MK: Ooooh, secret spy-like, very "hush-hush."
BC: Don't tell me to hush - do you want to know what it said or not?
MK: And this is from a "friend?"
BC: Are you not listening?
MK: Oooookay. So what did it say?
BC: The note said that I should take over the writing duties - you aren't funny. Plus, I'm clearly destined to be a star and you're ruining it. People LOVE me. You - eh - you're dispensable.
MK: Your "friend" said that?
BC: Why do you keep asking me that? Don't you think it's possible the someone besides me could think that way?
MK: Is there anything else?
BC: Stop your obsession with me licking my butt. You mention it in almost every post - I don't hang out your dirty laundry all over the place. Oh, and stop laughing at the traumatic events that happen to me!
MK: The ones you cause yourself, you mean?
BC: The toaster attacked ME! It totally started it!
MK: So you didn't stick your paw in there?
BC: SEE! This is why no one likes our blog! You blame me for everything! And everyone knows that I'm just a sweet, little, kitty cat who never does anything wrong.
MK: Anyone who's seen our home knows better.
BC: It's ART! You have no conception of an artistic vision.
MK: Yes, well, your artistic vision is like this:
BC: Better than this:
MK: That's evil. I feel myself becoming ill. Can we agree on this?
BC: Whatever.
BC: Oh! One more thing. The feedback friend suggested you buy me a cattle prod.
{silence}
BC: Are you listening? A CATTLE PROD! Momma? MomMA!
{silence}
BC: Oh. I get it. You're just going to sit there and ignore me, meanwhile staring at the wall. You're MOCKING me! I'm not amused. I'm offended. I'm antagonized! I want my money back!
{silence}
BC: Damn. And I don't get an allowance either!
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